family drama - told off sister for being lazy..

[Orionaut]

This is exactly why we’ll never be out of lockdown, certain people think rules don’t apply to them.

Oh I dunno, As Long as they stay well a ways from me (And I well away from them) The more "young" people who can spread this amongst themselves the better.

We will be able to get to that magic herd immunity level that will protect oldies like me all the quicker rather than waiting years for a vaccine that might never happen anyway...

 

[NVP]

Agreed

 

[Ryan-3]

Oh I dunno, As Long as they stay well a ways from me (And I well away from them) The more "young" people who can spread this amongst themselves the better.

I don't think the rare event of seeing the youth outside is anything like as bad as the 30-50 category breaking the rules around here.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Reading the OP's woes reminded me of the intro to Coronation Street with its downbeat music, depictions of families crammed together in thin, tall, awful houses, extended familes clogging up the town's arteries, and a sepia-toned reminder that life is bleak and whimsical.

So bear in mind all these other horrors you apparently face the next time you speak with your dreadful sister, OP

 

[Begbie]

Exactly

Why has she been coming over anyway? Doesn't matter that you're related or living a few doors down. The lockdown rules apply to everyone...

They clearly don't. And they haven't since the start. To the point people share this with an open forum, that's how little people care about the so called 'rules' or 'guidelines'

 

[stockhausen]

No. You just have to be alert from now on.

Hide in the coal shed whilst using a periscope to watch the front door.

You should find detailed instructions on YouTube describing how to make a periscope if you don't happen to have one to hand.

 

[The Geezer]

Oh I dunno, As Long as they stay well a ways from me (And I well away from them) The more "young" people who can spread this amongst themselves the better.

We will be able to get to that magic herd immunity level that will protect oldies like me all the quicker rather than waiting years for a vaccine that might never happen anyway...

Sadly these rule breakers could cross our paths when we go the supermarket before the herd immunity kicks in.

 

[mrk]

Whilst you may be westernised/modern and feel that equal share of responsibilities is in order, the (not always the case but there are many out there still...) traditional cultured nature of your mum means that she will never ask for help from her daughter. This has been going on since a young age and is evident given she's not even offering to help as an adult with a family of her own. On the flipside your sister will almost certainly demand her children help out around the house when they're older. This is how this sort of dynamic works. It is poor parenting on one hand but not every kid grows up without those values as many will find it themselves and be decent human beings. Sadly this is not par for the majority. I say this because this is my observation of other families, especially those that live in households within walking distance.

Nothing you say or do will change whatever outcome. Your mum is hardened in her institutionalised ways, your sister bears no moral responsibility as an adult to help mum out. It is a lose lose.

The bigger issue right now is breaking lockdown....

 

[Jokester]

*guidelines

These aren’t guidelines. She’s breaking the law visiting somebody outside her household.

 

[Ayahuasca]

Post and run troll thread

 

[BowdonUK]

Shes been breaking the lockdown rules.. fill out the form, get her and her bunch carted off to the cop shop. Problem solved!

 

[dowie]

There have been issues with an higher levels of BAME deaths and one possible factor is larger, multigenerational households - your sister is from a different household but your family is apparently naive enough to have essentially created one big household with her anyway.... that was a really bad idea.

Honestly some people will get unlucky with this thing, some people will face high risk through their work and some people are simply going to bring it on themselves or their relatives though being really dumb.

 

[Blackjack Davy]

No. You just have to be alert from now on.

Yes. Alert to those fuzzy funny virus thingys floating around the air and avoid them... you must have seen them? Just be alert and avoid them whenever you spot one. Nasty little critters.

 

[Mr Badger]

Yes. Alert to those fuzzy funny virus thingys floating around the air and avoid them... you must have seen them? Just be alert and avoid them whenever you spot one. Nasty little critters.

Everyone knows that people are only poor, unemployed, sick etc. due to them making bad life choices. Stay alert, don't choose dying from the virus!

 

[Rroff]

Whilst you may be westernised/modern and feel that equal share of responsibilities is in order, the (not always the case but there are many out there still...) traditional cultured nature of your mum means that she will never ask for help from her daughter. This has been going on since a young age and is evident given she's not even offering to help as an adult with a family of her own. On the flipside your sister will almost certainly demand her children help out around the house when they're older. This is how this sort of dynamic works. It is poor parenting on one hand but not every kid grows up without those values as many will find it themselves and be decent human beings. Sadly this is not par for the majority. I say this because this is my observation of other families, especially those that live in households within walking distance.

Nothing you say or do will change whatever outcome. Your mum is hardened in her institutionalised ways, your sister bears no moral responsibility as an adult to help mum out. It is a lose lose.

The bigger issue right now is breaking lockdown....

It may be deeper rooted than that - I see a lot of parents who don't encourage their children to get involved with stuff (for various reasons) then complain that they don't help out and it might not be obvious to them (the child even later as an adult) even how to get involved in helping out (which might not be easy to understand by those who've been brought up differently or have a naturally pro-active mindset).

Then there are the slobs or self-centred, etc. who have no intention of helping out in the first place.

 

[Orionaut]

I don't think the rare event of seeing the youth outside is anything like as bad as the 30-50 category breaking the rules around here.

30-50 is young!

While there have been people under 40 who have died, the numbers are so small they are almost below statistical significance. That is, there simply haven't been sufficient cases to be able to establish any pattern other than bad luck. Like being hit by a meteorite or lightning or something similarly rare.

Age wise, I am on the cusp. It gets worse from here on. I might well be better off catching it now than in 3-4 years time And yes, this might well still be grumbling on in 3-4 years time. Which is why the lockdown thing can only really be a short term measure and now needs to be largly lifted. Infection rates will go up when this happens because lockdown will not make it go away!

Sadly these rule breakers could cross our paths when we go the supermarket before the herd immunity kicks in.

Fortunately, I am in a part of the country where this risk can be pretty well mitigated. But I am sorry for older people living in more urban areas. It will be very difficult to get back to any sort of normalcy in densely populated urban areas without the risks being significant.

As an aside. And having said all that!

in 1968, the Hong Kong flu killed around 100,000 people in the UK

The world didn't stop, nobody was furloughed, businesses didn't close or go bust because of it, we didn't trash the economy, we didn't run up a massive mountain of national debt that will take generations to recover from (well, we did perhaps, but for different reasons ) most people just carried on with very little concern, or awareness, that it was even happening.

Perhaps the big problem with the modern world is too much information. As a result our collective decision making is hampered by the statistics of small numbers. And yes, I am guilty of this too.

Consider this,

some 600,000 people die every year in the UK anyway without the world ending.

Many, most even, of those deaths are "Avoidable" in that the people dying are dying before they might otherwise have done for reasons that could have been avoided.

If all the current chaos and control freakery is deemed necessary/acceptable on the grounds that it "Saves Lives" or "Saves" (IE reduces demand on) the NHS, What is going to be the next government target?

Alcohol, Obesity? Are the Police going to have the power to raid peoples homes in the future to check that they are not exceeding the daily recommended number of units or calories?

Because the logic isn't really that different. :/

 

[NVP]

There have been issues with an higher levels of BAME deaths and one possible factor is larger, multigenerational households

They don't actually know why. They're wondering if there's a genetic predisposition to activating the ACE II receptors which the virus uses to cause most of the damage in the body.

They wondered if it was socioeconomic but a lot of brown doctors are dying. They're wondering if it's because there's a higher incidence of heart disease and diabetes (diabetes + covid + male = bad). But they have not done studies on the history of the people dying. It would be useful if they got the background of the doctors who died to see if they had diabetes, etc, but they haven't. But some of them were quite young so it's debatable.

 

[arknor]

TLDR: had a go at my sister for not helping out as she has been coming down with her family everyday & not doing her bit & had a go at her but mum/her thinks i am in the wrong!

SO my sister lives near me (couple doors down). She, with her family (3 kids/husband) would come over to over house everyday and expect to be waited on upon. so things like she would just go in the kitchen sit down, my wife/mum set the table, then afterwards take the plates away, wash em etc.. while she would be in my mums room with her family playing games on phone. Her kids would make mess in the room(s) which we would clean up after they had left.

She has occasionally cooked food at her home and brought it over.. and in the past she has helped my mum out with various bits like court etc but we have also helped her look after her kids when shes gone off to uni, her husband has also helped out in the house occasionally. just mentioning as my mum keeps bringing this up..

so anyway I had a go at her and all hell broke lose as if i had done/said something wrong. She started shouting and bringing other unrelated issues.. I had talked to my mum earlier on and she said she would talk to her but i waited a month'ish and nothing was done..

Now I dont expect her to come and help out everyday but when you know people are tidying up in the kitchen and you are on your phone playing games.. that is not on. However my mum doesnt see anything wrong as she says my sister is coming 'home to her mother's home' (I might add we are asians so a bit of that dynamic plays into it)..

What do you say.. should i have let it go or?

It's very easy for some people to see them selves as a guest in other peoples houses.

back in my younger days occssionaly my older brother would take me with him to one of his friends houses where him and his mates would all smoke and play playstation games, maybe watch a movie etc

the rule was after 2 times you are no longer considered a guest, and you are expected to do a tea/coffee round occasionally.

maybe you could partially take some of the blame for allowing your sister to continue being a "guest" in your home.

allowing her to be gaming on her phone instead of helping to clear the table or do the washing up.

have you ever asked her to give a hand? how was life growing up? for most families its normal that everyone apart from the cook would help to clear the table.

maybe your parents did it all for you both so she doesn't see it as normal to do anything.


I don't really know your sister like you do but perhaps you are being a bit hard on her? surely its better to talk things over, and get on with your siblings than have a go at them

There have been issues with an higher levels of BAME deaths and one possible factor is larger, multigenerational households - your sister is from a different household but your family is apparently naive enough to have essentially created one big household with her anyway.... that was a really bad idea.

Honestly some people will get unlucky with this thing, some people will face high risk through their work and some people are simply going to bring it on themselves or their relatives though being really dumb.

if my local area is representative of the minority communities throughout the UK then it's not surprising they are worst off.

they usually have more kids, closer relationships with each other and their local communities.
often before lock down if I went for a walk around here it wouldn't be that uncommon to see around 10-15+ adults outside someones house speaking whatever foreign language they converse in, also they are surely more likely to be deeply religious and go to whatever religious building


outside of work most english families probably don't really interact with that many people in comparrison on a weekly basis

 

[bainbridge]

This all depends on which games she's playing. If she's playing seekers notes then she should be pulling her weight, but if she's playing freecell she needs a peaceful environment and regular cups of tea, she can't be messing about with domestic duties.

 

[wedrum]

We need pics of sister.