OcUK Hivemind, am I in the wrong?

Caporegime
OP
Joined
23 Dec 2011
Posts
32,910
Location
Northern England
If you saw her parents on Boxing Day, after they'd seen her brother and you'd seen your mum on Christmas day then you'd be breaking the '3 households' bubble anyway... So probably lucky he cancelled!

Existing support bubbles count as one household. Additionally I would only be meeting 2 other households. As would they. Just happen to have different bubbles.
 
Caporegime
Joined
5 Sep 2010
Posts
25,572
Christmas is three weeks away so hardly last minute.

Why has your partner's brother decided not to spend to spend Christmas with his parents?
 
Soldato
Joined
8 Jun 2005
Posts
8,401
Location
United Kingdom
I would ask partners brother why they have decided to create this problem for everyone else by changing plans. If there's a very good reason I would try to accommodate, otherwise tell them to GTFO
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
I would ask partners brother why they have decided to create this problem for everyone else by changing plans. If there's a very good reason I would try to accommodate, otherwise tell them to GTFO

What's the problem?

So your saying that the brother in law has to follow the schedule for the rest of his life and not allowed to deviate from it?

I think he has the right to choose what he does with his own life.

There is nobody in the wrong here.
 
Caporegime
OP
Joined
23 Dec 2011
Posts
32,910
Location
Northern England
What's the problem?

So your saying that the brother in law has to follow the schedule for the rest of his life and not allowed to deviate from it?

I think he has the right to choose what he does with his own life.

There is nobody in the wrong here.

Says the man who recently said asian families are better because they're closer :D
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
Says the man who recently said asian families are better because they're closer :D

What's that got to do with the price of cheese?

Plus in the Asian family you wouldn't have this stupid scenario in the first place where everyone avoids each other and this couple have to go to this house and this couple to that house and then switch around every year.

So you just made my point even better.
 
Caporegime
OP
Joined
23 Dec 2011
Posts
32,910
Location
Northern England
What's that got to do with the price of cheese?

Plus in the Asian family you wouldn't have this stupid scenario in the first place where everyone avoids each other and this couple have to go to this house and this couple to that house and then switch around every year.

So you just made my point even better.

Because if they were as awesomely close as your uber asian families then he wouldn't leave his parents alone at Christmas, would he?
And its not a question of avoidance...the very fact that you think it is yet again shows your tenuous grasp on the topics at hand.
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
Because if they were as awesomely close as your uber asian families then he wouldn't leave his parents alone at Christmas, would he?
And its not a question of avoidance...the very fact that you think it is yet again shows your tenuous grasp on the topics at hand.

Why not?

You can be close to family and yet not spend Christmas day with them.

The idea that in order to be close you have to spend Christmas day together is absurd.

So if I spend 364 days a year with family but don't spend Christmas day with then I'm not close to them?

I think you are failing to grasp that you can do whatever you want.

FYI Christmas day we normally do both parents houses one for lunch and the other for dinner.

However we also have other family over to our house on other days before Christmas without involving direct family as well. Like just cousins and stuff or just friends, etc.

This year will be different because of Covid. However if one year we decided we wanted to spend Christmas abroad then I don't think anyone would have an issue with it.

I don't see any issue with the brother not going to his parents this year. He likley has other plans. Yet you want to force him to stick to this weird arrangement where you alternate parents on a scheduled basis. Just because your mum has weird anxiety issues where you don't want to invite anyone else over in case it sets her off.

Well guess what. Don't invite other people over its your decision to make just like it's his decision not to go to his parents.

Also lol at short notice. Last time I checked Christmas day is over 3 weeks away.

So he's not broke the news at short notice what so ever.
 
Associate
Joined
27 Sep 2012
Posts
157
Easy solution.

You have christmas day dinner at your mums you and your partner.

As soon as dinner is over you drive over to your partners parents and have christmas dinner there.

Job done problem solved.

I did the same one year when i was working silly shift patterns and could not go up to my partners parents at same time as her

I stayed at mums had dinner there. then as soon as dinner was over i drove to my partners where dinner was just being served up. So i had another christmas dinner.

Boxing day my partners sister arrived, And we all had another christmas dinner.

So that was the third christmas dinner for me in 2 days.

Lets just say they had to roll me into a corner to sleep it off for the rest of the day
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
3,166
Location
Elsewhere
Existing support bubbles count as one household. Additionally I would only be meeting 2 other households. As would they. Just happen to have different bubbles.
Support bubbles are fine, but bubbles cannot be extended - if you meet someone they become part of your bubble as do any other households they/you see before and after.

I expect most people are going to ignore that though...
 
Caporegime
Joined
20 Oct 2004
Posts
26,494
Location
....
What's that got to do with the price of cheese?

Plus in the Asian family you wouldn't have this stupid scenario in the first place where everyone avoids each other and this couple have to go to this house and this couple to that house and then switch around every year.

So you just made my point even better.

Not all Asian families are equal.......

I can guarantee you the Asian families I know, all the Aunties would be creating some sort of drama of why someone isn't coming to theirs, why their bubble isn't his bubble and why her cousin is going to her other cousins bubble.

You're experience isn't the same as everyone's experience Sonny, sometimes I feel like you think how you live your life is how everyone else does.
 
Soldato
Joined
5 Mar 2010
Posts
12,305
Yes, he is at fault but that's irrelevant. The issue is that your partner's parents are going to be alone at Chrismas and this important to your partner. You need to accommodate both your mother and your partner. So you go to one on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas Day.

That doesn't solve the issue though, as that would still mean one set of parents are alone on Christmas day - which is the core part of the argument.

You've only got 2 realistic options from what I can tell.
1) you and your partner don't have Christmas together, and spend it separately with respective parents.
2) you cram a visit to both parents in on the same day. That might well mean having two Christmas dinners, but would solve the anxiety issues, and the loneliness issues.
 
Back
Top Bottom