OcUK Dadsnet thread

Soldato
Joined
14 Aug 2008
Posts
4,232
Location
North Sea
10 month old. “I’m tired, but let’s not go to sleep, let’s just rail against being tired for * checks notes*, 3 hours and counting instead, while screaming the house down.”

This is our first kid. Seriously, how do people go through this, then decide: “Yep, that was fun, let’s do it all again”.
 
Associate
Joined
2 Apr 2014
Posts
748
Location
Hook
We recently transitioned our youngest daughter into a toddler bed... She was really unsettled last night so to stop her falling out of bed and to try and get her back to sleep (early hours) I sat on the floor and put my hand on her back to reassure her, after 5 minutes and because I'm currently somewhat 'under the weather' I found myself nodding off. I decided it was a great idea to lay in the floor with my hand on her back until she settled again, safe to say i fell asleep!... half an hour later my wife came through to see what was going on and decided to leave me there and went back to bed herself.
 
Soldato
Joined
15 Mar 2010
Posts
11,056
Location
Bucks
10 month old. “I’m tired, but let’s not go to sleep, let’s just rail against being tired for * checks notes*, 3 hours and counting instead, while screaming the house down.”

This is our first kid. Seriously, how do people go through this, then decide: “Yep, that was fun, let’s do it all again”.
Because its short lived (or it should be). This actually brings up what I hate about current childcare advice and that it doesn't tell you anything about what happens to young children as they are developing and that they will have these activity spikes throughout the first through years.

Honestly I feel it would save a lot of hassle, and dare I say it abuse/deaths of infants if they gave this advice at point of birth.
When you can contextualise that's its only going to be a few nights, then its back to normal and that its actually a good thing to be happening it makes it a lot easier to deal with.
 
Associate
Joined
2 Apr 2014
Posts
748
Location
Hook
Because its short lived (or it should be). This actually brings up what I hate about current childcare advice and that it doesn't tell you anything about what happens to young children as they are developing and that they will have these activity spikes throughout the first through years.

Honestly I feel it would save a lot of hassle, and dare I say it abuse/deaths of infants if they gave this advice at point of birth.
When you can contextualise that's its only going to be a few nights, then its back to normal and that its actually a good thing to be happening it makes it a lot easier to deal with.

+1

Totaly agree with this.

It's still not easy but I feel I've dealt with the 'Over Tired' tantrums a whole lot better the second time round. Granted the 4yr old (5 in august) still does it now except its no longer crying tantrums, its stropping and answering back.
 
Associate
Joined
30 Nov 2003
Posts
1,569
Congratz! It is a bit surreal because in your head you think you have a few more weeks haha!

We are at 7 week old now, who needs sleep? Sleep is for the weak haha

Thanks and congrats to you too! Yes definitely surreal, I had mentally prepared for a few weeks time so my brain had to quickly readjust it was happening right then :eek:
 
Associate
Joined
2 Oct 2006
Posts
2,276
We have a 3 month old daughter- we haven’t really taken her to none essential places due to COVID. What’s the impact on young babies re COVID? We really want to start getting out and about. We’ve had plenty of vaccinated visitors.
 
Associate
Joined
30 Nov 2003
Posts
1,569
General question for you all. Those of you in a situation of wife/girlfriend/partner is on maternity leave and you are back at work.. How have you handled night duties with a newborn?

I have been full equal duties at weekends. But week days when I need to get up first thing for work I've helped until around midnight, then got what sleep I can. Still shattered every morning as I get woken every few hours.

A friend of my girlfriends. - Her partner is planning on kipping downstairs and leaving her to it and she's fine with it. I thought I was getting off lightly! Just wondering how others have handled it.
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Mar 2013
Posts
9,121
General question for you all. Those of you in a situation of wife/girlfriend/partner is on maternity leave and you are back at work.. How have you handled night duties with a newborn?

I have been full equal duties at weekends. But week days when I need to get up first thing for work I've helped until around midnight, then got what sleep I can. Still shattered every morning as I get woken every few hours.

A friend of my girlfriends. - Her partner is planning on kipping downstairs and leaving her to it and she's fine with it. I thought I was getting off lightly! Just wondering how others have handled it.
I think its fair for the one on mat leave to get up more.
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Mar 2010
Posts
4,081
General question for you all. Those of you in a situation of wife/girlfriend/partner is on maternity leave and you are back at work.. How have you handled night duties with a newborn?

I have been full equal duties at weekends. But week days when I need to get up first thing for work I've helped until around midnight, then got what sleep I can. Still shattered every morning as I get woken every few hours.

A friend of my girlfriends. - Her partner is planning on kipping downstairs and leaving her to it and she's fine with it. I thought I was getting off lightly! Just wondering how others have handled it.

As our babies were breastfed, I didn't get up at night for the night feeds, as it was pointless. I am quite a heavy sleeper and good at going back to sleep. I've never understood the tired dad memes!
 
Soldato
Joined
14 Mar 2011
Posts
5,417
We bottle fed so either of us could do a feed (not the sole reason, but still)...

Eventually settled into a routine of basically we went to bed about 11pm... if the baby wakes up earlier than 4am my wife would go, after 4am I would go (and I'd generally also feed the baby in the morning to let me wife lie in a bit later especially if she'd been up in the night). If I got woken up at 5am I'd just feed the baby, put her back down to sleep and then just start work, as my work are very flexible and I wouldn't necessarily want to try and go back to bed at 6am only to get up an hour later anyway
 
Soldato
Joined
5 Nov 2010
Posts
23,904
Location
Hertfordshire
Our boy is breastfed, my other half has slept in a rocking chair in the nursery for the past 6 weeks. He sleeps on her at the moment. Being a premature baby, it’s made the start all a little harder but we’re making it work.
We’re starting to get him used to a cot/basket soon again, so we’ll see how that goes.
Mum is a trooper!
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
We have a 3 month old daughter- we haven’t really taken her to none essential places due to COVID. What’s the impact on young babies re COVID? We really want to start getting out and about. We’ve had plenty of vaccinated visitors.

You do know the vaccine doesn't stop people from spreading it to others right?

It just makes their immune system stronger at fighting it to the point they don't develop the worst symptoms.
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
Our boy is breastfed, my other half has slept in a rocking chair in the nursery for the past 6 weeks. He sleeps on her at the moment. Being a premature baby, it’s made the start all a little harder but we’re making it work.
We’re starting to get him used to a cot/basket soon again, so we’ll see how that goes.
Mum is a trooper!

They usually advise against that sort of thing do they not?

Should be in a next to me crib with nothing else in it and feet touching the bottom. Blanket or those swaddle blanket things only that wrap up their arms and legs like a sleeping blanket
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Mar 2013
Posts
9,121
They usually advise against that sort of thing do they not?

Should be in a next to me crib with nothing else in it and feet touching the bottom. Blanket or those swaddle blanket things only that wrap up their arms and legs like a sleeping blanket
They might advise it, but our rocking chair got well used, and I say that as a dad of a breastfed child. We did similar to above. My Mrs would cover more during the week. Once she went back to work we evened up a bit more (unless for feeding).
 
Soldato
Joined
5 Nov 2010
Posts
23,904
Location
Hertfordshire
They usually advise against that sort of thing do they not?

Should be in a next to me crib with nothing else in it and feet touching the bottom. Blanket or those swaddle blanket things only that wrap up their arms and legs like a sleeping blanket

Yes, during his daytime naps he might be in his basket like that for all of 15 minutes. But as always, it’s advice, sometimes it doesn’t work.
In the first few weeks, our son would just throw up pretty much all his milk if he went down on his back for a while, as his stomach is further under developed from being premature. So would sleep with him in the rocking chair, which solved that problem but created another as he’s now used to it… We now have to ween him out of it. Fun times!

It’s true what they say, all babies are different and they don’t come with a set of instructions.
 
Soldato
Joined
21 Jan 2010
Posts
21,947
Yes, during his daytime naps he might be in his basket like that for all of 15 minutes. But as always, it’s advice, sometimes it doesn’t work.
In the first few weeks, our son would just throw up pretty much all his milk if he went down on his back for a while, as his stomach is further under developed from being premature. So would sleep with him in the rocking chair, which solved that problem but created another as he’s now used to it… We now have to ween him out of it. Fun times!

It’s true what they say, all babies are different and they don’t come with a set of instructions.
No under development but same thing here. She would go throw everything up if laid down too early. I would get her off in the rocker then cot her, then from about 10pm she'd sleep on my chest. It was the only way to survive the early days.

I was speaking to a friend yesterday whose son is now 18 months. He said they have muddled because their experience was bearable but nothing has improved from 'bang average', i.e. he's still a nightmare to get down, he wakes constantly, she has to co-sleep.

Luckily my experience was pretty poor so we employed the famous sleep consultan (entertaining posts a few pages back). She has been doing 7 till 7 ever since now.
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
No under development but same thing here. She would go throw everything up if laid down too early. I would get her off in the rocker then cot her, then from about 10pm she'd sleep on my chest. It was the only way to survive the early days.

I was speaking to a friend yesterday whose son is now 18 months. He said they have muddled because their experience was bearable but nothing has improved from 'bang average', i.e. he's still a nightmare to get down, he wakes constantly, she has to co-sleep.

Luckily my experience was pretty poor so we employed the famous sleep consultan (entertaining posts a few pages back). She has been doing 7 till 7 ever since now.

From what age did she do 7-7 though?

My wee man has slept through the night a few times even as early as 3 months olds. Now he wakes up for 2 feeds.

He's always been small but often no matter what he has always been several ounces behind the recommendations. He's not exactly small in size though. He's very long. He's tracking 50th percentile for height but 10th percentile for weight.

The other thing that can wake him up during the night is a soiled nappy. My wife has a friend who is a sleep consultant and general baby advice type person. Is it a paediatrician they call it? She charges for 2 hour sessions. My wife did one and she basically said you are doing everything perfectly and babies are all just different.

He did improve his daytime naps after the call but night has always been a couple of wakes. He's only 6 months old though so I would say that is normal. Maybe in a few months if he ups his feeds during the day he might go longer but I doubt it he's a grazer. He can't handle big portions.
 
Soldato
Joined
21 Jan 2010
Posts
21,947
From what age did she do 7-7 though?

My wee man has slept through the night a few times even as early as 3 months olds. Now he wakes up for 2 feeds.

He's always been small but often no matter what he has always been several ounces behind the recommendations. He's not exactly small in size though. He's very long. He's tracking 50th percentile for height but 10th percentile for weight.

The other thing that can wake him up during the night is a soiled nappy. My wife has a friend who is a sleep consultant and general baby advice type person. Is it a paediatrician they call it? She charges for 2 hour sessions. My wife did one and she basically said you are doing everything perfectly and babies are all just different.

He did improve his daytime naps after the call but night has always been a couple of wakes. He's only 6 months old though so I would say that is normal. Maybe in a few months if he ups his feeds during the day he might go longer but I doubt it he's a grazer. He can't handle big portions.
6 months. Best thing I ever did. It doesn't sound like your wife's chat was anything like what I got. It was full support on WhatsApp, calls, a progression plan, etc. Well worth the 300 quid especially depreciated over full sleeps.
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Jun 2006
Posts
38,372
6 months. Best thing I ever did. It doesn't sound like your wife's chat was anything like what I got. It was full support on WhatsApp, calls, a progression plan, etc. Well worth the 300 quid especially depreciated over full sleeps.

Yeah she got full support on WhatsApp. The person actually responds through voice messages on WhatsApp I've never seen anyone do that before.

He gets up feeds then sleeps. He's only waking for feeds because he literally cannot take any more during the day and he's always been little and often.

He's weaning now so hopefully that may help thanks to supplementing real food. But we tried every technique and he's always had a regimented routine for bed time. Same 3 hour routine before bed every night.
 
Back
Top Bottom