**The Mental Health Thread**

[McBain]

I've had this weird experience recently whereby the morning after a social occasion, and some days after, I start questioning whether the person I was with actually enjoyed it and whether I should have gone at all. This doesn't seem to be related to drinking though, as I get it even after an evening where I didn't drink. I think it's just self-doubt in general, maybe related to OCD.

To answer your question, yes, it can linger for a few days afterwards. I try not to pay too much attention to it.

Funny you should say that, I met up with an old work colleague last Tuesday and the day after I felt the same way, wondering if I was good company etc. I put it down to essentially being out of practice socially, what with the pandemic etc.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I know anxiety can be bad a day after a fairly heavy drinking session, but does anyone else get it lingering around for days after? Had a few Saturday night and am feeling it pretty badly right now.

Yep, my anxiety is through the roof for a few days after a proper drink. To the point, I'll only get that drunk 3 or 4 times a year now.

When I was in a really rough patch, the hangover the next day was brutal, I couldn't bear being awake with the intrusive thoughts and just wanted to sleep for 48 hours.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Very relatable above - I went drinking with colleagues (first meetup in 17 months) a few weeks ago. Definitely still questioning whether I embarrassed myself, was bad conversation, etc etc.

I think I had that feeling before but it's definitely worse since covid. Even just answering the door or phone can leave me feeling a bit awkward for half an hour as I process the event. I get little flashbacks about things I said.

 

[R.P.L]

I know anxiety can be bad a day after a fairly heavy drinking session, but does anyone else get it lingering around for days after? Had a few Saturday night and am feeling it pretty badly right now.

It certainly affects me for around a week - anxiety and the general dislike of doing anything, even if I'm not really hungover the next day. It's why I've all but given up booze (I might have actually given up booze once and for all but haven't committed to it long term yet).

 

[GR63]

Was due to go to my therapy appointment yesterday afternoon and ended up cross-checking everything in the flat repeatedly before leaving [again]. In anxiety on exit I mashed my head on the corner of the front door and starting bleeding, so had to recuperate and cancel the appointment by emailing my therapist and telling her I'd injured myself. She immediately called me, probably concerned that I had slit my wrists or something.

Spent the rest of the day in bed. What is wrong with me at the moment.

I like the plain ones myself. Haven't had any for a while, though now I'm tempted to.

I'm sure they help general mood (or I tell myself that as I munch away!). Sorry to hear about the accident...

 

[robfosters]

Feeling very depressed lately. Life seems so empty. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed. When I’m up and about, the empty feeling becomes overwhelming and I can’t think of anything else. Nothing gives me any real enjoyment and I just end up back on the bed.

I take lorazepam for insomnia, but am wondering if I might need a dedicated antidepressant.

 

[Lysander]

Feeling very depressed lately. Life seems so empty. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed. When I’m up and about, the empty feeling becomes overwhelming and I can’t think of anything else. Nothing gives me any real enjoyment and I just end up back on the bed.

I take lorazepam for insomnia, but am wondering if I might need a dedicated antidepressant.

Rob, I'm sad to read this. I didn't know you were going through this. How long has this been going on for?

You may need a dedicated antidepressant, but have you spoken to your GP about this? I have been prescribed but haven't taken anything, because I am worried they may compound the issue [the side-effects can make things worse initially] and the fact that they take weeks to kick in.

 

[OG]

This thread has provided good reading over the past year or so, although I'm a long time lurker I thought posting my experience may help others that are just reading as well!

Back in January 2020 I had a panic attack in the back of a taxi after my normal trains home from work were cancelled due to bad weather. At the time it did not feel like I was going through anything particularly difficult (loving wife, well paid job, close friends and family). My wife had been in therapy for about 6 months at the time due to anxiety and so I was aware of the benefits of therapy, the 'journey' and what it involved. I didn't need much convincing after having a panic out of nowhere to go and get some help, I went to my local GP and asked for a referral for a therapist. I'm extremely fortunate that my employment provides private medical insurance so after calling round a few places I found what felt like a suitable therapist and attended my first session in the middle of Feb 2020.

Boy, what a journey it's been since then! Therapy has been one of the most challenging and rewarding things I think I have done in my life, the first few sessions were extremely difficult, dragging up everything from life decisions to my childhood and everything else inbetween. It soon became obvious that although I give the impression I am 'fine' to the outside world, inside I am generally a fairly anxious person. It's been fascinating to understand how my parents getting divorced when I was a child has impacted my relationships now and specific situations that end up making me feel anxious.

I am (of course) in no way completely better and quite frankly I will always expected to be anxious in life, but as others have said in this thread, having therapy makes me feel equipped to at least deal with these situations when they arise. I'm finding I am opening up myself to more emotionally difficult conversations with my wife, being more open with my friends (rather than giving the impression everything is fine) and to be more considerate of others. I've tried to not become too preachy to colleagues and friends but attending therapy has become one of the better decisions I have made, I've had about 16 sessions in total and now at the stage where I will reach out to my therapist if I feel I need a session (rather than having them scheduled in). All in all 10/10, would recommend.

 

[Lysander]

It's been fascinating to understand how my parents getting divorced when I was a child has impacted my relationships now and specific situations that end up making me feel anxious.

Can you give any examples of how it has impacted your relationships? My parents divorced when I was 4, which led to various intra-familiar issues for several years after that. I imagine it has had an effect on me also in ways I haven't realised.

 

[Mark1989]

I don't post here often despite my own anxiety issues and OCD issues, I find music for me is a massive help, I recently came across this and can hit in the feels depending on views. Apologies if music doesn't help others, just wanted to share it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mSf_i1U0TI&ab_channel=IconForHire

 

[OG]

Can you give any examples of how it has impacted your relationships? My parents divorced when I was 4, which led to various intra-familiar issues for several years after that. I imagine it has had an effect on me also in ways I haven't realised.

My parents divorced when I was 7, I lived with my mum and saw my dad about once every two weeks through childhood and teenage years. Their divorce was never really discussed in any manner with my grandparents just pretending it never happened and my my mum desperately trying to keep me and my sister happy just ploughed on and gave the impression everything was fine.

My wife asked a few years ago about us having children and I just outright said it wasn't something I ever wanted but couldn't go into more detail (this was pre therapy so just pushed it down and ignored any feelings there), I found I was actually terrified that if we were to have children that it would lead to history repeating itself and lead to us breaking up. I'd convinced myself that the reason my parents got divorced was because of the pressure me + my sister put on their relationships and so the only inevitable outcome would be for us to get divorced. I'm happy to report I've been working through this since I've been in therapy and we're expecting our first child in 10 weeks time, I think being me being aware of my emotions makes me extremely determined to avoid any mistakes my father made. It's obviously no way completely resolved and I'm sure as our children grow up the above will manifest itself in different ways but I at least feel prepared to try and tackle those feelings.

I did actually speak to my mum and dad (individually) last year about their divorce, it was the first time we'd really spoken about it. It obviously wasn't the most enjoyable thing to do in the world but it really did help me to understand where some of my anxieties have come from.

 

[Lysander]

My parents divorced when I was 7, I lived with my mum and saw my dad about once every two weeks through childhood and teenage years. Their divorce was never really discussed in any manner with my grandparents just pretending it never happened and my my mum desperately trying to keep me and my sister happy just ploughed on and gave the impression everything was fine.

Similar situation to me. After my parents divorced I lived with my mum and saw my dad every week. This then got reduced to every two weeks. In the meantime they had lot of financial problems and involved me and my brother more in the divorce and their financial problems than they should have done. The extent of which I will not go into here, but let's just say it was way too much, in retrospect. There was fault on both sides, they both blamed each other and it was a pretty hard time for all involved. I'm sure it was really difficult having to pay private school fees while having a divorce but what could my brother and I do - we were just kids - we were the casualties in this.

My wife asked a few years ago about us having children and I just outright said it wasn't something I ever wanted but couldn't go into more detail (this was pre therapy so just pushed it down and ignored any feelings there), I found I was actually terrified that if we were to have children that it would lead to history repeating itself and lead to us breaking up. I'd convinced myself that the reason my parents got divorced was because of the pressure me + my sister put on their relationships and so the only inevitable outcome would be for us to get divorced. I'm happy to report I've been working through this since I've been in therapy and we're expecting our first child in 10 weeks time, I think being me being aware of my emotions makes me extremely determined to avoid any mistakes my father made. It's obviously no way completely resolved and I'm sure as our children grow up the above will manifest itself in different ways but I at least feel prepared to try and tackle those feelings.

I'm pleased that things are working out better for you. But I do think divorces really put some people off having kids. My wife's parents also went through a divorce and neither she nor her sister want kids. I nor both of my brothers do either [the oldest of which is nearly 60 now].

 

[willhub]

I find like a bit stressful / depressing at the moment, at a time when a kid is on the way, I'm wanting more money but don't feel I want a high responsibility position, a position where a lot of people rely on me, maybe like a manager, so I feel stuck, I want an enjoyable job that doesn't cause stress and I earn a nice amount of money, of course, nice job not stressful and plenty of money doesn't really come together, so stuck in this rut makes me feel stressed.

That and watching TV or reading media seeing these hugely rich people just put me down. Life seems like just a constant chore and stress, just want to nap all the time.

I feel like a wandering ball of stress and anxiety with no direction, I'm even slowly getting more and more averse to going outside on my bicycle thinking I'm going to get ran over.

 

[Mr_Cool]

ADHD + Poor Discipline + Perfectionsim is eating away at me internally.

Definitely ruined a lot of opportunities in the past few years and feel like it’s gotten worse.

Where as before I could still attempt something even if I know it won’t be my best, I’ll have the attitude of at least it’s done or I’ve tried. Now? Not so much.

Back on a different SSRI after coming off lexapro/fluoxetine around May/June.

Was hoping to avoid the revolving door of medication.

No side effect so far but still early days. Felt I had some sides when I tapered off my previous medication.

Just hoping to have my life on track again soon.
Gym was really helping me but life got crazy and stopped so planning to get back to that.
As well as walks.

Going to try pick up mediation and go it a proper go.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Today is my first day trying medication for ADHD. The diagnosis was March/April and since then I've learned a lot about myself, identified symptoms I was ignoring and attempted to improve some habits.

Should take a month to go through the medication dosing tests so let's hope it's smooth. I'm feeling positive and bright today but about as easily distracted as usual. Just a bit less scattered.

ADHD + Poor Discipline + Perfectionsim is eating away at me internally.

100% relatable. Takes ages to start things as I think I'll never do it right. And can take ages to finish things for the same reason.

 

[413x]

ADHD + Poor Discipline + Perfectionsim is eating away at me internally.

Definitely ruined a lot of opportunities in the past few years and feel like it’s gotten worse.

Where as before I could still attempt something even if I know it won’t be my best, I’ll have the attitude of at least it’s done or I’ve tried. Now? Not so much.

... .

Very similar. Scary similar.
I get distracted, and am a perfectionist.
It's crippling. It's what has basically killed photography as a hobby. Just spending too long on pics. Just stopped doing it.

Think this is why I've latched onto 'moment' things. Sports. It's not a thing that has to be perfect. It's one of few things I get enjoyment from 'trying' rather than 'perfecting'.

Perfectionism and lack of discipline means its taken ages to sort house out. Most recent it's poor plaster job. So I'm going round, sanding and filling. Then I'll go over again, spotting new issues. Which makes me not want to do it at all.

So many common themes in this thread.

Not sure about everyone else but I do, in general, feel I'm always trying to avoid the next 'down'.


Currently OK, been on my bike, kayaking etc. Managing to get out. But yeah. Definitely things in life weighing me down

 

[Col_M]

So, I'm in my 2nd week of titration for Elvanse.
The first couple of days were a bit strange. On day 1 I was so excited when the effect kicked in and I was able to concentrate that I was getting up and walking about to calm myself down, day two was better as it wasn't so new but I had a bit of anxiety and felt a bit tight chested.

Since then, once the "haha I'm on prescribed amphetamines" and "wow I can do so much now" effect wore off my work life has transformed, where I used to take a week and a half to write a solution design document through distractions, not being able to work out where to start and procrastination, I did one write up in a single day. At home I no longer have rubbish bags on the floor of the kitchen for days waiting for me to take them down to the bins, I did three loads of washing this weekend, cleaned my shower, and a load more general life admin. It just feels like everything is so much easier to do, the link between thinking about doing something and actually doing it is just there, my brain doesn't fight me when I try to make it stick to one thing anymore.

I also had to do some concentration tests on my computer and when I submitted my results my titration nurse even commented "You seem to have made significant improvements here in all diagnostic areas, especially with focus, this is really positive"

It is really like the pill from Limitless, I never knew how much I was being held back and how easy life is for neurotypical people until I've been able to experience it.

 

[SixTwoSix]

What happened to Ballistix? He posted a lot of inane and triggered nonsense on the forum but hope if he's actualy a real person that he's ok.

However I also notice Realitybites hasn't been posting for around the same time period, alt account perhaps or maybe i'm joining dots that aren't there.

 

[Lysander]

What happened to Ballistix? He posted a lot of inane and triggered nonsense on the forum but hope if he's actualy a real person that he's ok.

I may have had something to do with it. I had a go at him for making this thread a negative place and reported him to the mods. After that he disappeared. I tried to help him but he got very defensive and threw my attempts at assistance back at me. All indications point to a severe case of projection and denial, which makes it very difficult for anyone to help him, including the NHS, it would appear.

 

[SixTwoSix]

I saw a bit of back and forth but nothing i'd consider that bad, it's odd that such a short lived and prolific poster suddenly stops, they don't show as suspended.

I'm not entirely convinced it wasn't an alt account of a more regular poster on the forum, with the whole 'i'm black/asian so can be as racist as I want' excuse.

All that said, if he is genuine, I hope he's ok, he did mention suicide risk a few times, not just here but in other threads.