I think you'll find the cat is walking you on a lead.
How do you spend your evenings in your 30s, 40s, and beyond?
- Thread starter Palladium
- Start date
I think you'll find the cat is walking you on a lead.
Associate
I’m 46 and the wife will be in Jan. Our kids are 26, 23 and 18. The older 2 have left home and the youngest is now away at uni. We recently moved to the SW for my job.
Evenings involve watching TV, reading, out for a meal, cinema, dog walk on beach. Varies.
Evenings involve watching TV, reading, out for a meal, cinema, dog walk on beach. Varies.
You have to admit though, it does deliver good reading and lots of laughs. Especially the matchstick post.
Soldato
I read my large print newspaper(Google it kids) cos your eyes don't work properly no more when you're old, then I smoke a pipe with my slippers on, then go outside to the street to shout about how the yoof of today don't know they're born, then go bed at 7
Caporegime
The forum is nearly 20 years old now and as a whole, forums are a bit old school these days. A great deal of the members will be getting on now and the kids are too busy going out and enjoying themselves. Therefore it gives a nice environment for us old codgers to moan and put the world to rights.
Associate
I'm 40 and live with my fiancee and two cats, I finish work before my partner so have about 2 hours free time to myself before we sit down have dinner, watch netflix etc.
She usually goes up to bed between 9-10 so again a couple of hours to sink into new world lol
She usually goes up to bed between 9-10 so again a couple of hours to sink into new world lol
Soldato
Most of the time, I’m at home. Depending on what time I finish work etc, I have a meal, watch stuff on Netflix, Sky. Or read with music playing.
During May - August, I did an evening litter pick about once a fortnight with the group I’m a member of, on either my days off or when I finished work at 4pm.
During May - August, I did an evening litter pick about once a fortnight with the group I’m a member of, on either my days off or when I finished work at 4pm.
Soldato
32 here.. no kids.. no partner.. very little debt.. mortgage isn't anything to worry about, very good income
Don't forsee me ever wanting or having kids but also in a similar dilemma what to do with all the free time
Only recently have felt this way.. probably as don't see many friends anymore as they have all settled down where as I haven't
Don't forsee me ever wanting or having kids but also in a similar dilemma what to do with all the free time
Only recently have felt this way.. probably as don't see many friends anymore as they have all settled down where as I haven't
Just use your freedom to do stuff people with kids can't. My wife and I hardly ever go anywhere without any kids in tow, maybe out for lunch while they are at school/nursery or very occasionally an evening out while my dad looks after them.
There's a truckload of stuff I'd like to do given the freedom, we only get a couple of opportunities a year.
To answer the question, with kids my evenings consist of evening meal, maybe playing a game with sons, getting them to bed, then usually come and play games on my computer once rest of the family is asleep. Might watch a football match if one is on.
The past 12 months or so I've felt the vague tinglings of what I assume is a mid-life crisis coming on, that sort of realisation that having spent 40 years of my life working to hit some aspirational height, I've probably foregone a lot of experiences to get there and I probably can't get those opportunities back any more, due to a combination of responsibilities and the slow decline in health that inevitably accompanies aging. Travel for example never really appealed to me that much when I was younger, I just considered it expensive and something I could do much later in life if I wanted to.
There's a truckload of stuff I'd like to do given the freedom, we only get a couple of opportunities a year.
To answer the question, with kids my evenings consist of evening meal, maybe playing a game with sons, getting them to bed, then usually come and play games on my computer once rest of the family is asleep. Might watch a football match if one is on.
The past 12 months or so I've felt the vague tinglings of what I assume is a mid-life crisis coming on, that sort of realisation that having spent 40 years of my life working to hit some aspirational height, I've probably foregone a lot of experiences to get there and I probably can't get those opportunities back any more, due to a combination of responsibilities and the slow decline in health that inevitably accompanies aging. Travel for example never really appealed to me that much when I was younger, I just considered it expensive and something I could do much later in life if I wanted to.
Soldato
I'm pretty old at 43, but I agree with you. I hate being old and because of that, I prefer to identify as a Millennial (born 1978) as opposed to X-Generation. Depending on sources you read, 1978 can fit on either side.
In my 20s (mostly 2000s decade), clubbing was a still a thing in the UK. Hard house, trance, techno, hardcore and d'n'b. Although a non-smoker here, clubbing gradually got killed off in the late 2000s by the smoking ban and the "credit crunch" recession. Also, the 24-hour licensing, so people stayed on in pubs instead of clubs. When I wasn't clubbing or pubbing, I was raiding MC/Ony/BWL/AQ40 (and later KZ/Gruul's/Mag/Sunwell) in World of Warcraft until Blizz killed it after a couple of expansions.
In my 30s (mostly 2010s), clubbing was almost non-existent. Godskitchen, one of the last bastions of club-land went pop in 2016, leaving Trancecoda as pretty much the final bastion of the Midlands, and then that went pop as well in 2018. Without the clubs, I started collecting club lights for my house
Still went out pubbing a lot, and cafés, and theme parks became a thing for me too.My 40s (2018-present) started off with a bang, going to Disneyland Paris, but then life went down the toilet. In that time, I have lost Grandad and Dad (only aged 72), been at loggerheads with Capita and the DWP for 3 years, then corona virus happened and now I have been diagnosed with cataracts. My nights are fairly solitary atm, but I still go to the pub once or twice a week and got a few post-covid trips planned in Oct/Nov.
So yeah, for anyone here who haven't yet turned 40 - DO NOT turn 40. Just don't!
Soldato
I have 2 small children.
Oh to have a life where I can literally do anything I wanted at any point anywhere! OP, you've got it good
Oh to have a life where I can literally do anything I wanted at any point anywhere! OP, you've got it good
Just turned 40 ,never really wanted kids at all then boom...here she is!
I also found life after work pretty dull for the most part, especially if the weather is not brilliant and usually consisted of watching crap on TV
Now I have very little time although when the little one sleeps and our lass does I'm straight on the PC to unwind for a few hours which tbh I never did much previously due to our lass moaning!
However my days of bird photography etc are now hindered massively as are my weekend socialising and drinking.
But when she smiles...it's worth everything the lack of sleep, no me time etc and I actually wish I had kids earlier, it's fun and hard as hell and life is a new experience.
I also found life after work pretty dull for the most part, especially if the weather is not brilliant and usually consisted of watching crap on TV
Now I have very little time although when the little one sleeps and our lass does I'm straight on the PC to unwind for a few hours which tbh I never did much previously due to our lass moaning!
However my days of bird photography etc are now hindered massively as are my weekend socialising and drinking.
But when she smiles...it's worth everything the lack of sleep, no me time etc and I actually wish I had kids earlier, it's fun and hard as hell and life is a new experience.
Associate
- Joined
- 20 Mar 2014
- Posts
- 2,359
I have been trying to get back in to mmorpgs by playing new world. But usually just pub or football or to a mates house and chill with him while he produces music. Or round to my mums house for tea.
I am finding it hard to get in to new world. The queues don't help which means I can't play at the time I want but also because I kinda feel like I should be leveling up in real life. Not just on a game. Maybe I need to earn a bit more money before I feel relaxed. Been skint lately
I am finding it hard to get in to new world. The queues don't help which means I can't play at the time I want but also because I kinda feel like I should be leveling up in real life. Not just on a game. Maybe I need to earn a bit more money before I feel relaxed. Been skint lately
Associate
Me and the Misses have just started fostering kittens to get them ready for new homes.
Very fulfilling (if you like cats obviously) but still don't like giving them back
Very fulfilling (if you like cats obviously) but still don't like giving them back
Soldato
We pretty much live the same lifestyle with our daughter as we did before she was born.
In the summer, we'd go for a walk / dog walk and combine it with a play area in the park for my daughter. Winter evenings are spent cooking / watching TV / working out.
My limitations on weekday evenings are more due to tiredness from a day at work than having a child. I've always been someone who enjoys the social aspect of work so I don't mind the downtime of an evening.
Having one child does seem significantly easier than 2+ though. We still manage 2 foreign holidays a year, I play a lot of golf, we do lots of days out still.
In the summer, we'd go for a walk / dog walk and combine it with a play area in the park for my daughter. Winter evenings are spent cooking / watching TV / working out.
My limitations on weekday evenings are more due to tiredness from a day at work than having a child. I've always been someone who enjoys the social aspect of work so I don't mind the downtime of an evening.
Having one child does seem significantly easier than 2+ though. We still manage 2 foreign holidays a year, I play a lot of golf, we do lots of days out still.
Soldato
Evenings have never been my thing, grown up successful kids, long since left the nest, single now. Sometimes wander down the river or Camel trail.
Days off, check out magicseaweed find the best surf breaks, tends to be sheltered spots like harlyn in big swells with sw winds or polzeath when its cleaner, go there hell of a lot.
Coastal walking , tor, moor walks
Basically act like im on holiday but a permanent one
Forgot mooching in and tending to garden thats a massive one i mised out
Days off, check out magicseaweed find the best surf breaks, tends to be sheltered spots like harlyn in big swells with sw winds or polzeath when its cleaner, go there hell of a lot.
Coastal walking , tor, moor walks
Basically act like im on holiday but a permanent one
Forgot mooching in and tending to garden thats a massive one i mised out
Last edited:
Soldato
Work too late. Eat too late. Realise by the time you've cleared up it's too late to watch anything worthwhile on telly. Watch rubbish on telly, half fall asleep on sofa. Go to bed.
That was pretty much my weekday life for my 3rd and 4th decades. Saw the girls for about 10 minutes in the morning and, if I was lucky, 10 minutes before they went to bed at night. Long hours plus 2.5 hour round trip commute. Weekends were all about making the most of family time. The good thing about having a decent income and living in London was that we could always find something fun to do within 20 minutes on the Tube.
They’re grown adults now, living their own lives with houses, mortgages, jobs, boyfriends and the youngest has a cat which she doesn’t walk on a lead. No corner sofas.
Associate
I don't usually do much with my evenings. Make / eat dinner, maybe put something crap on TV for background noise while eating, often a spot of gaming, watch a couple of vids on YT. I also lounge around lots wondering if I'll ever find something worthwhile to do with my life - so far it's not looking promising. No kids or significant other, and I don't think those would be the answer for me.
I used to do exercise in the evening but switched to training in the morning, but I go to sleep earlier as a result so it doesn't really give me more spare time in the evenings. Also used to have a few beers a few times a week but given that up.
I used to do exercise in the evening but switched to training in the morning, but I go to sleep earlier as a result so it doesn't really give me more spare time in the evenings. Also used to have a few beers a few times a week but given that up.