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I always wondered why my art teacher in high school said he died inside a little each time he looked at one of my paintings, now I know. Must have been the fumes.

Did they at least let you roast marshmallows with it?

Reminds me of the time my daughter discovered she could remove her own nappy. I was mid changing her while she was lying on a changing mat on our spare bed. I’d undone the tabs at the side of the nappy she was wearing and was just reaching for the pack of wipes to start the cleanup, when in one...

Meth. Not even once.

The classic trick is to wait for someone to try and sync a generator to the board, and just as they click connect in the IAS or close the breaker if doing it from the switchboard room, flick the light switch off. The initial look of horror, followed by fury when they realise what happened, is...

“Chief, what does this breaker d-“

Paid for an allergy test from a blood sample for my daughter, as she’s non-verbal, and can’t tell us when she’s feeling unwell. We knew from her early days, and the scale of the response that she was allergic to cow’s milk. However, despite cutting out milk and avoiding soy, which we suspect she...

We take our little one to a specialised soft play as she has ASD, which the parents have to sign a waiver for stating that they’ll keep a constant eye on their kids. Last time I was there one bloke puts his kid on the enclosed trampoline and ****s off. Kid decides he wants to get off, and just...

Ironic, given how Russia and China treat their own Muslim minorities.

Just trying that now, local police website seems to be just leading me in circles. Can’t really say I’m reporting a crime, but we have footage of someone doing something dodgy. Try to report it as antisocial behaviour and it just takes me back to the front page. In a plot twist, our neighbour...

Had a quintessential roadmen, such is the term I believe the youth use these days, ringing our video doorbell, and then ringing doorbells and knocking on the doors of several of our neighbours at around 3.00 this morning. Don’t know what he hoped to achieve by ringing the doorbell, but weirdly...

Barbecue sauce or jam during horsefly and wasp season.

Houthis have caused their 1st fatalities it would seem, 2 killed aboard the Barbados flagged bulk carrier M/V True Confidence by anti-ship ballistic missile strike. Source: gCaptain article Wonder if we’ll see an escalation in the response to these.

Dunno, I kinda dig unwashed potatoes.

Been lovely where I am today, bright blue skies and plenty of sunshine. Bit warmer than it has been too. Feels like Spring’s around the corner at last.

I’m just picturing that scene from Phoenix Nights, with the psychic after he’s had his nose bust, “See, if you were any good you’d have seen that coming!”

The takeaway from this ****-show is if you have nukes, keep them no matter what, if you don’t have nukes, get them as soon as possible. The only law that matters is the law of the jungle.

To be fair, being landlocked, a navy would be a bit impractical for Moldova anyway.

The Morrison’s where I grew up initially opened with 2 sets of revolving doors, but they had to remove them due to the fact that most of their clientele were old farts, and couldn’t keep up with the doors, so they’d keep stopping.