Stewart, that’s the last fart you do in this pub. Get out.

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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3,245
Location
melbourne
Probably one of the best stories this year :D

http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/story.php?story_id=411

Dunfermline Press said:
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A PUB regular has been barred from his favourite Dunfermline boozer – for indiscriminate wind breaking.

Management at the bar say Stewart Laidlaw “revels” in his bouts of flatulence and other punters have almost been sick after exposure to the foul smells.

Mr Laidlaw (35), who is furious at the ban by Thirsty Kirsty’s, is thought to be the first person in West Fife to be barred for breaking wind.

The James Street pub’s owner says the stench has become unbearable since Scotland’s smoking ban came in last year but suspects drinkers could have been breathing in the waft for years before without noticing it.

“We are a bus station pub and trying to keep new custom. The final straw was when an old gentleman came in and had his gin and tonic and the old guy was almost sick.

“He will clear the pub out usually and he thinks it is very funny. I don’t have to give him a reason for not serving him but I did, maybe thinking he would learn his lesson. But if he can’t see the error of his ways it’s a lost cause.

“I don’t want him back. I don’t need that behaviour. It has been detected for about a year [since the smoking ban], but it might have been going on for a lot longer than that.

“You can’t just have one guy sitting there farting his day away and nobody else coming in.
 
Soldato
Joined
22 Dec 2004
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9,150
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Rugeley, Staffs
I remember getting sent out of English Lit at school for farting.. half the time the class made it up for some bizzare reason.. then again, we did enjoy winding the teacher up.. one day we forced her to tears and she had a nervous breakdown... haha! :D
 
Man of Honour
Joined
29 Mar 2003
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56,793
Location
Stoke on Trent
After a stomach operation I had in 1988 I don't fart. If I'm ready to fart I'm ready to drop.
I got married in 1980 and for a while thought it was funny to fart in bed. About a year into our marriage I farted and my wife was seriously sick and vomited all night. I made sure I never farted again in her company.
I've NEVER heard or known her to fart either.

It amazes me how people have the given right to fart and then laugh about it saying something like "Smell that Bass" (beer).
Our mess room has been emptied quite a few times by idiots.

This also begs the other question - has the cigarette smoke been masking his farts all these years.
People have mentioned on here that now there is a ban in Scotland the smell of BO is terrible in some nightclubs.
 
Soldato
Joined
17 Oct 2002
Posts
5,538
dmpoole said:
This also begs the other question - has the cigarette smoke been masking his farts all these years.
People have mentioned on here that now there is a ban in Scotland the smell of BO is terrible in some nightclubs.

So they should stop farting and wash :)
 
Man of Honour
Joined
14 Nov 2003
Posts
10,949
LOL @ the clown. I would ban him from every pub.

As for the whole BO problem that has suddenly come to light - don't people in Scotland wash? I have been in loads of non smoking pubs both in England and all over the rest of the world and I have never smelt anything other than clean people and beer. Perhaps that is why they call Scots 'sweaties'? ;)
 
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