3 Months Working Abroad Without My Family .....

albert · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:38

*******

Bunka · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:41

At the end of the day, it boils down to this: New kitchen + holiday and no family for 3 months or all the family time they want but no kitchen and holiday. What does the wife want more?

You'll be able to suck up being without the family for a bit but how do they feel?

The_Abyss · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:43

If you want to go then go. What are you supposed to do on your 12+ days off - sit in a hotel room and pine for your family? Go out, work hard, see some stuff on your free days and then come back and get a new kitchen.

enigma27 · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:47

with technology now days will it really be that bad?

I just been away for three days and seemed skype was always going of with the kids.. never felt like i had left.

Captain · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:50

Absolutely, 18k for 3 months work? No brainer.

albert · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:54

enigma27 said:
with technology now days will it really be that bad?

I just been away for three days and seemed skype was always going of with the kids.. never felt like i had left.

Reading my post back i think it's all about me and how i'm going to really miss my girls. I've seen them everyday since the day they were born. My secondment is going to happen and Skype is how we are going to keep in touch ....

Whitewater · 19 Feb 2017 at 23:58

Clov!s said:
Absolutely, 18k for 3 months work? No brainer.

This. Although I would disagree if your daughters were younger - at 12 and 13 they'll better understand why you're going and anticipate the rewards when you return.

Hades · 20 Feb 2017 at 00:01

It depends on how old your children are and whether your wife can cope alone with the children for that time. Assuming they are old enough to understand and she can cope then I say go. The money for the family would be good and probably more importantly I assume the new experience would be great on the CV and attract further work at some point.

I would argue that, assuming the family can cope for three months and your children are old enough, then it would be selfish of them to hold you back.

Edit: I see they are 12 and 13. I have a 13yr old and while she would miss me (and me her) she would be old enough and mature enough to understand and cope.

George Hincapie · 20 Feb 2017 at 00:11

albert said:
Would you do it?

I've been offered a chance to work for 3 months in Mississippi and since i don't know anyone here i'll tell you i'm going to be paid around £18,000+ for the privilege for 3 months work. I've said yes to the company, but i could back out if i wanted to. My plans are to get the work over with and come home with money for a new kitchen and a nice family holiday in August with my wife and my 2 girls.

Does anyone here think this is unreasonable? If i did go over then i'd miss my wife and kids ( 2 daughters 13 & 12) immensely and i'll be crying like a baby at the airport when i leave.

Also, my missus seems to think i'd be going on some sort of jolly. On Facebook, the lads who are already over there are having days off visiting New Orleans or travelling up to Memphis. From my point of view i'll be working 12 hour shifts 6 days a week. I just want to work, get the 3 months over with and come back with a nice tidy sum.

Has anyone else done this? Family comes first and i could cancel my secondment at the drop of a hat, but any sensible advice would be appreciated. Has anyone else done this?

I've done 6 months apart before and that was hard. I didn't get paid anything close to £18K for it either. Three months will be easy - go for it I say.

Minstadave · 20 Feb 2017 at 00:46

Personally missing three months of my kid growing up isn't something a new kitchen would compensate for.

We've only got a toddler but leaving my wife to never have a break for 3 months solid is a decision I wouldn't take lightly either. Maybe not so bad with older kids but it's still a huge ask.

Sliver · 20 Feb 2017 at 00:54

I spent 8 months in Portugal when I was just 19. I didn't really miss my family as they were only a phone call away. Great experience.

The 3 months will fly by and that £18k will come in handy I would think.

Uther · 20 Feb 2017 at 00:54

12 weeks will be over in a flash, and you'll be 18k richer. Your kids are old enough, if the wife is happy then go.

G-MAN2004 · 20 Feb 2017 at 01:25

First week will be difficult, but ultimately 3 months will fly by. Plus you can Skype with your family each day. I'd do it.

Angilion · 20 Feb 2017 at 01:27

My advice (which you might or might not consider sensible - that's up to you) is to discuss it with the people involved. Your children are old enough to understand, so I'm including them in that although I think would probably be better to discuss it seperately with your wife first. You're the parents, so it's different for that reason and also because your children aren't adults. If nothing else, if your wife really thinks you're just going off on a jolly that's a problem that should probably be ironed out before the two of you discuss it with your children.

I don't think it's unreasonable. You're looking at going for a relatively brief period of time to a place that has the full range of modern communication. You'll have real-time video comms with your home. It's not like the only communication would be by letters that would take a month each way or no communication at all until you got back.

ci_newman · 20 Feb 2017 at 09:37

Three months without snu-snu.... No thank you!

Can you fly your wife & kids out there for some holiday time while you are there? I couldn't ever imagine leaving my family for that long, I find it hard enough having to go Mon-Fri for work sometimes.

tom_e · 20 Feb 2017 at 09:40

Plenty of people spend their whole careers doing similar or worse for a lot less cash, if it's a one off then I think it would be crazy to turn it down. An extra £18k is a lot of money.

VincentHanna · 20 Feb 2017 at 09:49

Sliver said:
I spent 8 months in Portugal when I was just 19. I didn't really miss my family as they were only a phone call away. Great experience.

The 3 months will fly by and that £18k will come in handy I would think.

Bit of a difference between not missing your own parents at 19, and missing your teenage daughters.

Diddums · 20 Feb 2017 at 09:54

Clov!s said:
Absolutely, 18k for 3 months work? No brainer.

This. It's 3 months. Suck it up, tell them to suck it up, come home and treat them with a nice holiday or something and pocket the difference.

Snookums · 20 Feb 2017 at 09:59

It's only three months. Think of those in the armed services, they do it. Obviously they chose a career to do it but still.

It's another experience you can add on, you may spend the first few weeks sad and missing them then I'm sure the next month or so will go by like that as you'll have all new experiences. Then it's just a matter of counting down till you go home.

3 months really isn't a long time so I'd say so it.

adolf hamster · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:03

A good freind of mine spent his life in the oil industry, regularly doing 6 month tours and managed to raise a family of 7 kids without issues.

3 months i think you'll be fine, especially with skype etc you'll be able to keep in touch much easier than previous generations, and at least your getting paid a decent chunk.

You might as well take the opportunity to take in some american culture while your at it, see the sights etc, you never know you might decide when you get back you've scouted out some stuff youd want to take the family to see.