A typical conversation with the wife...

[Soundood]

there is only one reason why someone would ask you a question they,

a) already know the answer to
b) have already decided the answer

a desperate need to converse and to get you to engage with them, break a perceived silence, and get you to notice them.

this tactic is very common in children who are nervous about their parents, talk to your wife more.

 

[LewisRaz]

^^ This is my life or she will fire up whatsapp messaging every git in her contact list while I'm sat there watching her crap then get told off for swapping channels that she isn't watching

Haha glad im not the only one!

 

[Tefal]

^^ This is my life or she will fire up whatsapp messaging every git in her contact list while I'm sat there watching her crap then get told off for swapping channels that she isn't watching

you need the new samsung tvs where you an watch 2 differnt programs at the same time.

 

[d_brennen]

Ex wife: What do you fancy for dinner tonight?
Me: Oh I don't mind, you chose
Ew: No I want to know what you want!
Me: Ok, we haven't had a curry from that place round the corner for ages
Ew: No, the spices make my skin play up
Me: Sausage, mash and onion gravy?
Ew: Too stodgy
Me: That roast chicken and rice thing?
Ew: Too tired for that
...
Me: Lets just eat those garden clippings that you had in mind to begin with

 

[FISHGUTS]

My wife talks(shouts) to me from the opposite end of the house & expects me to understand/magically hear her inane ramblings.

 

[Feronix]

Wife - Dear husband, would you like to do A, or should we do B instead?
Me - Yes

Try this.

 

[itchy]

Ex wife: What do you fancy for dinner tonight?
Me: Oh I don't mind, you chose
Ew: No I want to know what you want!
Me: Ok, we haven't had a curry from that place round the corner for ages
Ew: No, the spices make my skin play up
Me: Sausage, mash and onion gravy?
Ew: Too stodgy
Me: That roast chicken and rice thing?
Ew: Too tired for that
...
Me: Lets just eat those garden clippings that you had in mind to begin with

^^^^ This many times.

I don't eat much but when I do I will eat anything. So when asked what do I want to eat from the chippy this is how it goes 99.9% of the time....

Her. "What would you like to eat"
Me. "anything am not bothered"
Her. "You decide am not bothered either"
Me. "Special fried rice"
Her "No don't fancy that"
Me. " Singapore vermicelli then"
Her. "We always get that I fancy something else"
Me "Beef cashew with fried rice"
Her. "Am not keen on that"
Me. "Well what do you want"
Her. "Shall we just get a soup, duck and pancakes"
Me. "Why didn't you say that in the first place"
Her. "Because I didn't know what I wanted then"
Me. "So why didn't you wait and actually think about what you wanted"
Her. "Because I always pick the meal I thought you might for a change"

Me...............................................

 

[d_brennen]

^^^^ This many times.

Note mines an ex. Wasn't this particularly but it did drive me potty

 

[Terminal_Boy]

Every day. About everything. Drives me up the ****ing wall.

Have that daily Monday - Friday and seemingly every 2-3 hours at the weekend.

 

[V F]

^^ This is my life or she will fire up whatsapp messaging every git in her contact list while I'm sat there watching her crap then get told off for swapping channels that she isn't watching

https://youtu.be/m_ckQJetRws?t=33m40s

 

[SexyGreyFox]

After being with her for 42 years our conversations go like this:

Wife - Dear husband, would you like to do A, or should we do B instead?
Me - Hmm I'm not too not bothered, I'm happy either way, we'll just do whatever you prefer.
Wife - Come on, be decisive; tell me if you'd rather we do A or B.
Me - You decide
Wife - tell me if you'd rather we do A or B.
Me - You decide or we go nowhere
Wife - OK we'll go A

Halfway there

Me - I wanted to go B

 

[V F]

After being with her for 42 years our conversations go like this:

Wife - Dear husband, would you like to do A, or should we do B instead?
Me - Hmm I'm not too not bothered, I'm happy either way, we'll just do whatever you prefer.
Wife - Come on, be decisive; tell me if you'd rather we do A or B.
Me - You decide
Wife - tell me if you'd rather we do A or B.
Me - You decide or we go nowhere
Wife - OK we'll go A

Halfway there

Me - I wanted to go B

 

[DXP55]

thank you - thank you - thank you all - I thought it was just me -

 

[LoadsaMoney]

Anyone else have these conversations with their wife/partner?

Wife - Dear husband, would you like to do A, or should we do B instead?
Me - Hmm I'm not too not bothered, I'm happy either way, we'll just do whatever you prefer.
Wife - Come on, be decisive; tell me if you'd rather we do A or B.
Me - OK, let's go with option B
Wife - I think we should do A instead, yes, we're doing A. All ok with you?
Me - Sure, but why bother asking me if you wanted to do A all along?
Wife - Why do you have to be so difficult all the time?

Is A - Pink, B - Brown ?

 

[AHarvey]

yep, pretty much spot on, along with the following when it comes to any DIY:

Wife: "how are you going to do it?"
Me: "Same way I always do it!"
Wife: "Wouldn't you be better doing it this way?"
Me: "Have you ever done X before? No? so no, it wouldn't be a better way!"

Or she just walks in and says "why are you doing it that way?"

 

[VBN]

Does this dress make my bum look big?
No your bum makes that dress look big!

 

[ianh]

Brutal Honesty for me -

Wife - Dear husband, would you like to do A, or should we do B instead?
Me - Hmm I'm not too not bothered, I'm happy either way, we'll just do whatever you prefer.
Wife - Come on, be decisive; tell me if you'd rather we do A or B.
Me - OK, if it's my choice then we're doing what I say regardless so this is your last chance to tell me - what do you want to do?
Wife - Oh just pick will you.
Me - I'm going to B then
Wife - I think we should do A instead, yes, we're doing A. All ok with you?
Me - No, I'm going to B like I said, either join me or next time tell me what you want.

I'm currently single because I'm "difficult".

 

[VincentHanna]

Some of your relationships with your significant others sounds awful.

I'm not saying I hang off every word of my other half, but I don't tune her out either. If she wants to sit watching TV with me then it's got to be something we both enjoy.

If she wants to watch crap I'll go on the computer until it's finished.

 

[Skidder]

I don't think my communication with my wife is perfect by any means but this doesn't ring true for me. I know what I want and she knows what she wants.

 

[HangTime]

After serving dinner up on two plates:

Wife - Which plate do you want?
Me - I don't mind
Wife - Pick one!
Me - I don't mind! The one nearest me!
Wife - I knew you'd pick that one, the steak is bigger.
Me - Fine I'll have the other one.
Wife - Why can't you make a decision?!

A variant of this is if she's dishing up while I'm making drinks with my back turned or whatever:

Wife - Is that enough potato for you?
Me - Yes
Wife - You didn't even look
Me - I was sure it would be fine
Wife - Look goddamnit!