Am i right to be concerned?

Consigliere
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I feel as though i'm the only one in my house - 5 guys including myself - to be worried about a housemate's behaviour when drunk.

Last night was a textbook example...he got very drunk, it mixes with his antidepressants and he goes all crazy. He was actually scaring one of the girls in an after party in Halls as he was sitting cross legged and sort of, rocking backwards and forwards, face full of animation and acting erractic. Ie, body movements spasm and things like that. It took us 40 minutes to get down a 15 minute road home and he promptly smashed a few glasses. A few nights before he smashed a lightbulb, took a mate's bed stuff outside the house and threw a housemate's chair down the stairs.

Don't get me wrong...sometimes its funny to see and "people do silly things when they are drunk" but surely there is a line? He is an intelligent guy when sober but he is 32. He has never had a job, lives with his parents who do everything for him and can't seem to look after himself. He lacks motivation to get up and sometimes he wakes up at 9pm and stays awake for 24 hours, other times he doesn't emerge for a couple of days. It's just very erractic. He IS a good mate when he wants to be and we do just go along with how he is because sometimes the benefits can outweigh the cons.

Anyway, just looking for other opinions hopefully showing i'm not being "boring" by worrying and stuff. My housemates are quite submissive and seem to take it in their stride but then again, i live with quite a mixture of guys. We all love to go out, get wrecked and whatever. But sometimes there is a line surely?

Can answer any questions etc.
 
Soldato
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I'd be worried if I knew someone well who was mixing drink and pills. So you are right on there, I'd talk to him and try and get him to stop taking both together.
 
Consigliere
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I'd be worried if I knew someone well who was mixing drink and pills. So you are right on there, I'd talk to him and try and get him to stop taking both together.

Problem is, he won't ever stop. He is a 32 year old man who has gone to University for god knows what reason. He is intelligent. That's the annoying thing. He is sitting on a good 2:1 for doing not a lot of work. He wants to get with women, have fun and whatever because he's never done it before. And he has never done it before because he can't summon the motivation to do anything about it - hence why he has never had a job besides a week at a supermarket and a few other random things he quit after a few days. He doesn't remember a single thing last night or many of the nights and predictably, he is going back to his parents tonight for a few days who will feed him and whatever and then he'll come back and do it all over again.

Seems like he is attention seeking?

It does sound like that...he says a lot of things when he is wrecked, especially last night. Something about his Dad being a 'proper man' and he isn't. I might suggest he should go back to counselling as he seems to be a very troubled guy.
 
Soldato
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Frack off, nosey
depending on the medication he takes, there's no reason he can't drink when taking the antidepressants - it just might make him behave differently. It sounds more to me like he has a drinking problem or dependancy than it's down to mixing with pills.

Obviously though it depends on what he takes and in what dosage. If he's on something like lithium, for example, then he'd probably be best avoiding booze altogether, or at least testing out the effects in a 'safe' place so to speak. If he's on a low dose of regular SSRI ad's then he'd be fine going out drinking with them. It's like anything, in moderation, it's usually not a problem.

Sounds like this guy maybe needs to talk to someone professional. He sounds very unhappy and seems that this might be the only way he can deal with it. He does sound very dependant on his parents, and lack of motivation is a very common symptom (or side effect, depending on how you want to look at it) of real, clinical depression. It's not always a case of just not being bothered about anything, it can be a confidence thing too. :(

Good luck with it.
 
Consigliere
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"he is 32. He has never had a job, lives with his parents" enough said in my opinion.

This! Sounds like he needs help getting his **** together, which is admittedly easier said than done.

Yup. I know. It's quite sad.

I won't be living with him next year as he won't be able to afford the rent because he won't get a job. He would actually rather retire now and leave it at that. Don't get me wrong, he has a tiny amount of ambition but it's just a thought. He would be an amazing counsellor but he can't be bothered and everything will "happen next week" if you get me.
 
Caporegime
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Does't sound like an ideal situation to be in, how did you end up living with him? Lock him out the house one night? That'll teach him.


Not as bad as this though...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/mid/8403713.stm


He was my room mate last year in halls, he is a good lad when he is sober but when he is drunk he can be really bad. Comes back starting on everyone getting aggressive and violent towards us all. Week or so before the above happened he come back started on me and other house mate two nights in a row ended up having to pin him up against the wall because he started getting really aggressive, other house mates wanted to call the police at the time.

Come out after this saying he suffers with depression and all this other sob story ****.

Apparently he is in a bail hostel at the minute or some where because he has zero money, spent his maintenance loan all £1.5k of it or something on online poker. Don't really just a **** where he is now.


Any way hope you get it sorted Sidewinder. :)
 
Soldato
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Does't sound like an ideal situation to be in, how did you end up living with him? Lock him out the house one night? That'll teach him.


Not as bad as this though...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/mid/8403713.stm


He was my room mate last year in halls, he is a good lad when he is sober but when he is drunk he can be really bad. Comes back starting on everyone getting aggressive and violent towards us all. Week or so before the above happened he come back started on me and other house mate two nights in a row ended up having to pin him up against the wall because he started getting really aggressive, other house mates wanted to call the police at the time.

Come out after this saying he suffers with depression and all this other sob story ****.

Apparently he is in a bail hostel at the minute or some where because he has zero money, spent his maintenance loan all £1.5k of it or something on online poker. Don't really just a **** where he is now.


Any way hope you get it sorted Sidewinder. :)

That is crazy, the bloke clearly has problems, I would love to know where his life takes him, in fact, I think there will be an indie film made about him.
 
Soldato
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depending on the medication he takes, there's no reason he can't drink when taking the antidepressants - it just might make him behave differently. It sounds more to me like he has a drinking problem or dependancy than it's down to mixing with pills.

Obviously though it depends on what he takes and in what dosage. If he's on something like lithium, for example, then he'd probably be best avoiding booze altogether, or at least testing out the effects in a 'safe' place so to speak. If he's on a low dose of regular SSRI ad's then he'd be fine going out drinking with them. It's like anything, in moderation, it's usually not a problem.

Sounds like this guy maybe needs to talk to someone professional. He sounds very unhappy and seems that this might be the only way he can deal with it. He does sound very dependant on his parents, and lack of motivation is a very common symptom (or side effect, depending on how you want to look at it) of real, clinical depression. It's not always a case of just not being bothered about anything, it can be a confidence thing too. :(

Good luck with it.

yep - all thats true
 
Associate
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Behind you!
He sounds quite a lot like myself from what you describe, and I'm currently in full time residential therapy for it. Obviously I can't diagnose him, but it does seem quite like the same thing I have; borderline personality disorder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

Have a look and see if he matches up to some of that. Of course it could be just alcoholism, but the addition of anti-depressants and erratic behaviour tend to make me think that.

In any case it's not really your problem, and he is still responsible for his actions. It might be worth suggesting he talks to a GP about the possibility of a personality disorder, but I realise that's a very difficult thing to bring up. I wasn't diagnosed myself till after I was sectioned, despite many years of chaos.

One thing I can say though is that male borderlines will frequently wind up in the hands of either the mental health services or the police. It would be far better to see doctors about it now.
 
Soldato
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I lived with a guy in my first year of uni with bi-polar, he wasn't taking medication and was drinking heavily as well as smoking weed.

Acted strangely, random movements, tics, very aggressive, smashed things, shouted, talked rubbish, got violent with some of us.

Was in a house of 8 guys and 1 girl, he probably got aggressive with all of us a few times, had several fights with groups of us, police were called several times.. Had to pin him down once and one of my mates strangled him in a fit of rage :/
 
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