An old joke, but great! :)

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After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job.

The bishop was incredulous "You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man, "observe!"

He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,

"Bishop, who was this man?" ...
























..."I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."




The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, "Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the firstbell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked, "Who is this man?"....



















..."I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
 
On a religious theme...

Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
God, the rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the
friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd
be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so,
thereby proving that . . .










Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
 
Adz said:
On a religious theme...

Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
God, the rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the
friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd
be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so,
thereby proving that . . .










Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

:D

That's awful! Almost as good as the Tulips from Hamster Jam one :D
 
A woman goes to her local supermarket to buy her groceries. She buys one packet of cereals, three apples, and pizza. As she goes to pay, the cashier says "I bet you are single". The woman is amazed that the man could guess so easily. She looks again at the items she has bought and still doesn't see how. So in the end she gives up.

"How did you guess I'm single?"
"Because you're bloody ugly."
 
Killerkebab said:
A woman goes to her local supermarket to buy her groceries. She buys one packet of cereals, three apples, and pizza. As she goes to pay, the cashier says "I bet you are single". The woman is amazed that the man could guess so easily. She looks again at the items she has bought and still doesn't see how. So in the end she gives up.

"How did you guess I'm single?"
"Because you're bloody ugly."
:/
 
Killerkebab said:
A woman goes to her local supermarket to buy her groceries. She buys one packet of cereals, three apples, and pizza. As she goes to pay, the cashier says "I bet you are single". The woman is amazed that the man could guess so easily. She looks again at the items she has bought and still doesn't see how. So in the end she gives up.

"How did you guess I'm single?"
"Because you're bloody ugly."


I should have been warned there as a legit funny joke in here, ive heard it before but its still funny !!

+44
 
Killerkebab said:
A woman goes to her local supermarket to buy her groceries. She buys one packet of cereals, three apples, and pizza. As she goes to pay, the cashier says "I bet you are single". The woman is amazed that the man could guess so easily. She looks again at the items she has bought and still doesn't see how. So in the end she gives up.

"How did you guess I'm single?"
"Because you're bloody ugly."
Excellent! :D
 
Killerkebab said:
A woman goes to her local supermarket to buy her groceries. She buys one packet of cereals, three apples, and pizza. As she goes to pay, the cashier says "I bet you are single". The woman is amazed that the man could guess so easily. She looks again at the items she has bought and still doesn't see how. So in the end she gives up.

"How did you guess I'm single?"
"Because you're bloody ugly."

Haha, nice and non-cryptic! :D
 
Killerkebab said:
A woman goes to her local supermarket to buy her groceries. She buys one packet of cereals, three apples, and pizza. As she goes to pay, the cashier says "I bet you are single". The woman is amazed that the man could guess so easily. She looks again at the items she has bought and still doesn't see how. So in the end she gives up.

"How did you guess I'm single?"
"Because you're bloody ugly."

Love it.
 
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