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Anyone ever been waiting for people to break up?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dougguk, 2 Jun 2006.

  1. dougguk


    Joined: 7 Mar 2006

    Posts: 136

    You know the score. You fall for someone, they fall for you and then you find out they have a BF or GF usually who they arent getting on well with or who treats them like dirt.

    Then the situation arises that you cant do anything as theyre not single, but the other person says "I really like you, blah blah and I hate the way the other person treats me and I am going to break up with them". A week passes and theyre still together and he/she still hates them, but they havent broken up!!

    Usually you would walk away - but what if the other person keeps coming on to you and keeps saying they dont know whats going on and wants to be with you, but hasnt dumped the other one!

    Part of me says run away from it all whilst the other part says stick with it.

    I have now told her straight that she needs to decide and stop flirting as I cant take it anymore! ARGHHHHHHHH!! Her BF treats her like dirt, never visits her (lives 80 miles away) is a complete control freak and all her friends say shes so much happier around me. I have done nothing so far however as shes not single :(

    Has this happened to anyone and does it ever have a fairytale ending? Its been going on for two weeks with me now and my head is completely :eek:
  2. Gilly

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 17 Oct 2002

    Posts: 95,523

    Location: I'm back baby!

    I've been in similar (but not quite the same) circumstances.

    Be there as a friend but make it clear that nothing can happen until she sorts the other stuff out. Its the only way to play it.
  3. Dugganator

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 7 May 2006

    Posts: 1,965

    "I have now told her straight that she needs to decide and stop flirting"

    I think that now you have told her straight at least you should be able to find out if she is playing you or not. I have kinda been in the same boat its not nice.

    The best thing I can say is that if she really mean's it about leaving her BF then she should say something soon with what you have said to her and having to decided. If it takes to long forget about her and don’t let her pull you along. Some women really get off on the whole stringing people along game and if she is one of these you don’t want anything to do with her.

    Hope not thou and it all works out. GOOD luck Bud :D
  4. ChroniC


    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 9,562

    Yes, she told me if she didnt have a boyfriend then she would have chosen me.
    Im awaiting the day, as she is a stunner, full of confidence.
    I only hope they do, as nasty as that is. :D

    meanwhile im happy playing the field, there is plenty more fish in the sea.
  5. atpbx


    Joined: 21 Oct 2002

    Posts: 21,451

    Been there, nailed her anyway.
    In fact been there twice, nailed her anyway, never returned her calls after.
  6. Sparky__H

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 9 Aug 2004

    Posts: 2,061

    Location: Sea of Dirac

    From my experience people will moan about a relationship even when their perfectly happy, she may say she’s not but probably has absolutely no intention of leaving him.

    My advice is just to walk away and cut all contact off from her and basically go cold turkey. I’ve had to do it a few times myself and it’s the only way I have found of dealing with it without driving myself completely insane. And yes a couple I have told them the same thing, break it off or stop pestering me with your problems but they have still wandered over with their big teary eyes.

    And no, it’s never had a fairytale ending with me, but hay there’s nothing wrong in living in hope.

    Their all mad….
  7. ballistic


    Joined: 15 May 2006

    Posts: 2,278

    Sleep with her first, think later.
  8. pinkegobox

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 30 Sep 2003

    Posts: 1,234

    Location: Manchester

    I hate to say it, but in a situation like this it is likely you could be waiting a long time, at least a few months.

    I want to make it clear it's not because "i wouldn't trust her" as I imagine she means everthing she says to you. However, as the old saying goes, it's a hell of a lot easier to say you are going to do something that actually doing it. Breakups are very hard, even if you want it, and all too often you can end up waiting for "the right moment" which will never come. hopefully at some point she will get the strength, and leave him... but then it's unlikely she will want to jump straight into another relationship... and then you either forget about her, and leave her to get over it, "fool around" with other guys, and possibly find someone else.

    or just stay close and support her, at which point you run the very real danger of "just good friends" territory.

    So i suppose the real question is do you wait, or do you forget her. IMHO you do neither. You don't hold out for her, make it clear that you have feelings for her but you know that she will need her space, but you are there to help her/support her/cheer her up when she needs it. Yourself, assume that is never going to happen and try to get over her, move on (not away, just "on") and then hopefully it will get to the point where she decides she wants to be with you and you can then rekindle what you have.

    That's my opinion, however it is likely you will get a few different responses and every situation is different. All i can do is wish you good luck. girls and relationships suck, but unfortunately for us hetrosexual guys... there's not really any escaping them!

  9. titchard


    Joined: 10 Feb 2004

    Posts: 5,116

    Location: Crewe, UK

    Your a lovely guy, I hope all your girlfriends are faithful to you.

  10. Sputnik II


    Joined: 5 Nov 2004

    Posts: 2,546

    If a woman will leave her husband or boyfriend for you, She will leave you for someone else too. I know because I've been there. Take it for a test drive then say goodbye to it.
  11. Indy500


    Joined: 7 Mar 2005

    Posts: 17,481

    Agreed, although in my case the girl fell for me afterwards.
  12. dougguk


    Joined: 7 Mar 2006

    Posts: 136

    I would agree with that part if her BF/Husband treated her properly and she was doing this then it would be :eek: But for example, this guy is meant to be coming down to see her tonight to sort stuff out. Theres a big night arranged and he is still 40 miles away and its coming upto 10pm... He was meant to be here at 5pm but told her he couldnt be bothered to leave until later.

    So by the time he arrives and they go out it will be nearly 11pm already and he expects her to pack her bags and go back with him to london tmrw morning first thing...
  13. Raymond Lin

    Capo Crimine

    Joined: 20 Oct 2002

    Posts: 68,519

    Location: Wish i was in .Lethal's house

    Real life Joey Tribianni ladies and gentlemen.
  14. Indy500


    Joined: 7 Mar 2005

    Posts: 17,481

    There arent any shortages of those from what I've seen....
  15. Dugganator

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 7 May 2006

    Posts: 1,965

    Well he sounds like a great BF at the moment :D . Really thou dude if he is truly being like this then really its shouldn’t take her to long to decide. Don’t wait to long thou for her to decide.
  16. Vix

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 1 Dec 2005

    Posts: 1,647

    Location: Norfolk

    No thats not true, people change. (Been there).
  17. Dugganator

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 7 May 2006

    Posts: 1,965

    I agree people can change but it depends on the person.
  18. Violent-J


    Joined: 25 Mar 2006

    Posts: 1,343

    Location: Birmingham

    Yep, it sucks.