are you a natural worrier/thinker

spike's

spike's

spike's

Soldato
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i am home ill today, so have spent far to much time thinking about my life. and what a **** up i have made of it so far.
had a really good start to the weekend, friday and saturday night were both spent knocking back a few in the pub. then last night was to be perfectly honest crap.
i guess i am fine when i have people arround me but when i am alone its just to much thinking time.
how do i stop being like this?
 
Try and find something positive to think about :p

Failing that, try and keep yourself busy with something.

If that doesn't work either, go to sleep ;)
 
Inquisitor said:
Try and find something positive to think about :p

Failing that, try and keep yourself busy with something.

If that doesn't work either, go to sleep ;)
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lol. dont have anything for the first 2 atm, and the sleep thing doesent work.
 
You can never stop being like this. But you can do things to occupy your time and therefore you will think less bad thoughts :).
 
I'm a thinker and a worrier myself, always have been. In many ways this has held me back.

I think something that can help is if you almost resign yourself to fate. Obviously things you can change and do something about go out and change, but when it comes to relationships etc things happen when you least expect them and you have to just go with the flow.

Also, try not to dwell on things. Believe me, I've done that. In November last year I had counselling for it, and that helped. Talking about the way you feel helps but I think ultimately you learn to accept what you can't change and make the best of things.

This makes you more positive, you have a better time, and this positive aura is given off and good things happen. Hence I've just got with a brilliant girl who I never realised liked me. At 22 I think I've finally met somebody I can be myself with and it isn't just physical.
 
thebrasso said:
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i think the counsilling would certainly help. have been chatting about a lot of stuff from my past recently. i guess its all bringing it back :(

i meet girls that i can chat for hours with but then it just ends. think i leave my heart on the line to much. so get easily hurt.
 
You can break it down into sections:

you need to not worry about the things that might happen - you can worry about them if and when they do - there'll be plenty of time for that then.

Don't worry about the things you can't change. It's pointless cos you can't change it. Stuff in the past is done, and don't assume that had you done things differently, it would all have been ok. Stuff happens for a reason, and though you might not see it immediately, things do have a weird old way of working out ok.

I'm a born worrier. I spent so much of my teens and early twenties worrying about stuff that I almost forgot to live. Now I'm a bit older and wiser, and I tend to be able to take things a lot more as they come and try not to worry too much about the things that haven't happened yet, or the things that are done and dusted.

The restraints and the tablets help too, but that's another story :p
 
spike's said:
i think the counsilling would certainly help. have been chatting about a lot of stuff from my past recently. i guess its all bringing it back :(

i meet girls that i can chat for hours with but then it just ends. think i leave my heart on the line to much. so get easily hurt.
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How old are you mate? It is not unusual to be introspective and self critical in your teens / early 20's.
Eventually you just get older and really couldn't care less what other people think and become quite comfortable with who you are and how life is.
 
kitten - thanks. makes a bit more sence now. i guess its easier to say than do. just have to see what i make of life. i know i should leave time in between splitting up with a girl and meeting another one. but i hate being alone. and no its not just the physical stuff.
 
spike's said:
i am home ill today, so have spent far to much time thinking about my life. and what a **** up i have made of it so far.
had a really good start to the weekend, friday and saturday night were both spent knocking back a few in the pub. then last night was to be perfectly honest crap.
i guess i am fine when i have people arround me but when i am alone its just to much thinking time.
how do i stop being like this?
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the drinking links to the problem and probably the cause.... and often is the solution.... hmm i sound like Homer Simpson.

either way, i get like this after a heavy weekend of drinking, thinking how bad my life is or whatever, and thinking way too much about things i done wrong, and trying to think things through too much. If i drink a lot the "depression" (mild) kicks in and makes me think a lot. The depression then makes me want to drink more and before i know it its a terrible cycle.



or it could be something totally different for you?
 
VIRII said:
How old are you mate? It is not unusual to be introspective and self critical in your teens / early 20's.
Eventually you just get older and really couldn't care less what other people think and become quite comfortable with who you are and how life is.
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25 mate, think i did a lot of thinking arround my bday ( begining of june ) i was at the time single, hey i am again but you get the idea, and i was just reflecting on life to much.

i dont see my family much at all. havent seen my 2 older brothers to talk to for a good few years. my mum i have seen more this year so far which is good, and will be seeing her in 2 weeks. but the rest of my life just goes from one woman to another.

i dont have many mates down here. the 2 i have are great, but could do with more.
 
spike's said:
kitten - thanks. makes a bit more sence now. i guess its easier to say than do. just have to see what i make of life. i know i should leave time in between splitting up with a girl and meeting another one. but i hate being alone. and no its not just the physical stuff.
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To be honest, i only stopped worrying about everything as much after a very nasty break-up when I stopped caring altogether. It sounds weird but as long as you still worry and fret, even though it isn't very nice, it proves you're still alive. I'd all but given up :(.

You also have to get used to your own company. You might not want to be on your own, certainly I hated it, but I learned to live with it. And as soon as I was ok being on my own, I stopped worrying so much, and I met my OH a few years later and I've never been alone since. However, knowing I can be, means that I can cope with most things when I have to. I still have worries and things that can freak me out if I dwell on them, but I jut keep reminding myself that life is too short to spend it worrying. :)
 
Overlag said:
the drinking links to the problem and probably the cause.... and often is the solution.... hmm i sound like Homer Simpson.

either way, i get like this after a heavy weekend of drinking, thinking how bad my life is or whatever, and thinking way too much about things i done wrong, and trying to think things through too much. If i drink a lot the "depression" (mild) kicks in and makes me think a lot. The depression then makes me want to drink more and before i know it its a terrible cycle.



or it could be something totally different for you?
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lol. i dont drink much anyway, i am talking 2-3 pints a month normally ( screwed my liver when i was younger and stupid ) but then this weekend i have found a new found love of magners :D 4 pints on friday night and 6 on sat eve/night.
 
kitten - thanks again, i guess i am allways trying to please other people to much. i really should just care about myself for a change.
 
I'm a natural worrier - but thankfully at some stage I usually get to the stage that I'm worrying that I'm worrying too much and just think **** it! :p

At that point I count my blessings (as small as they may seem sometimes) and go do something totally selfish - something I want to do and I enjoy without practically any thought for anyone else*! Then I feel better (until it starts all over again obviously! :( )

*bare in mind that whatever I chose never hurts someone else or causes long term problems... just a few short-term ones on occasion!

spike's said:
lol. i dont drink much anyway, i am talking 2-3 pints a month normally ( screwed my liver when i was younger and stupid ) but then this weekend i have found a new found love of magners :D 4 pints on friday night and 6 on sat eve/night.
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The Irish White Lightening
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I know exactly how you feel. i just try to keep occupied to take my mind off things
lately I've done a lot of thinking about my past and for some reason I'm thinking of the times I enjoyed with a certain someone (you know who I mean) rather than thinking how much he hurt me, like i usually do

your lucky to have mates to go out with, so enjoy time with them. I dont have any and the only female friends I have made are either doing their own thing or being 2 faced to me (one reason why I get on better with lads)

I know it feels weird to be alone but I know from my point of view that I have to stop looking, have fun on my own - no one else involved at all and let it all come to me for a change

if you fancy a chat i'm on msn
 
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spike's said:
kitten - thanks again, i guess i am allways trying to please other people to much. i really should just care about myself for a change.
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haha, you sound just like me. Really, you do.

You should see me after a night out. I'm like the most polite 'drunk' person ever and I'm obsessed and racked with guilt the next day in case i upset anyone. Someone else could have smacked you in the face and I'd be worried I'd upset you more by saying that blue suits you in what could be interpreted as a a sarcastic tone of voice :p *

*slight exaggeration, but you get the gist :D
 
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