Arranged/forced marriage

ElRazur

ElRazur

ElRazur

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I heard on the radio today how the government has backed down (out?) of making marriages like that illegal! The reason that was given is because they dont wanna offend the asian and black community, as it can be misinterpreted or misunderstood....(something along those lines)

Now, i dont understand why our policy makers (government) are sometimes blind not to see the way things like this affects thousand of lives and i dont remember them consulting the ethnic minorities to ask them what their views are before coming out with the announcement....The disadvantages of forced/arranged marriages is so much that i find it unbelivable the goverment backed down. Is it the honour killings that comes with it or the slow destruction of lives, sorrow and unhappiness...

Furthermore arranged/forced marriage is NOT a thing of the Blacks and i dont know why we have been included in that report. Whoever advises them need to do their research properly - It is PREDOMINANTLY AN ASIAN THING.

Rant over.

PS
Anyone here forced into a marriage?

I cant find a link but i did hear this on radio today.
 
Minorities shilling the blame to other minorities. Oh dear.

It's actually quite rife with "the blacks" in Africa, especially so among tribes which make up most of countries. Then they take their culture here and low and behold, it's racist to interfere with such a time honoured tradition.

Honestly, if you're going to make threads like this, don't start by saying "It's the asians, not us Africans!" It speaks volumes of your character.
 
And you'll get 8 years for raping your wife, unless of course its an arranged/forced marriage then it doesnt matter.
 
I know a few people who are incredibly happy in arranged marriages.

It's important to distinguish between 'arranged' and 'forced'.

*n
 
ninja economist said:
Minorities shilling the blame to other minorities. Oh dear.

It's actually quite rife with "the blacks" in Africa, especially so among tribes which make up most of countries. Then they take their culture here and low and behold, it's racist to interfere with such a time honoured tradition.

Honestly, if you're going to make threads like this, don't start by saying "It's the asians, not us Africans!" It speaks volumes of your character.
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You are reading me wrong dude, i am not blaming anyone, it is a well known fact that it is an asian thing, i just dont see the reason for africans (according to the report) being included.
Do you mind pointing to what tribes in africa that do engage in those kind of marriages?
I am actually in support of government making it illegal, so i dont see what your post is on about.
 
penski said:
I know a few people who are incredibly happy in arranged marriages.

It's important to distinguish between 'arranged' and 'forced'.

*n
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The is a thin line between them but whatever the circumstances may be, most of the times the two people involve in it WILL rather NOT be in it, if only they can say so......without consequences.

EDIT
The number of people who are not happy outweighs those who are imo.
 
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ElRazur said:
The is a thin line between them but whatever the circumstances maybe, most of the times the two people involve in it WILL rather NOT be in it, if only they can say so......without consequences.
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No - there is a definite line betwixt arranged and forced marriage.

If either party is not content and has been pressured or 'forced' (that's the clue right there ;)) into the marriage then it is not an arranged marriage but it is infact a forced marriage.

*n
 
ElRazur said:
The is a thin line between them but whatever the circumstances maybe, most of the times the two people involve in it WILL rather NOT be in it, if only they can say so......without consequences.
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You think there is a thin line...there is a massive difference between them. Many people in arranged marriages actively want it that way, who are we to stop them and what is wrong with it? Forced marriages are another thing entirely. Although there is no law against forcing people to marry there are laws in place to cover the methods which people use to coerce people into doing so (assault, threatening behaviour, harassment etc.). However, I do not think this goes far enough and there should be laws to cover the forcing of people to marry.
 
ElRazur said:
You are reading me wrong dude, i am not blaming anyone, it is a well known fact that it is an asian thing, i just dont see the reason for africans (according to the report) being included.
Do you mind pointing to what tribes in africa that do engage in those kind of marriages?
I am actually in support of government making it illegal, so i dont see what your post is on about.
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I watched a documentary about it years ago, but off the top of my head it was most dominant among native tribes in places like Tanzania, Botswana and Swaziland. I can't remember the exact countries involved. It is also commonplace amongst muslims in these countries. It is understandable that they want their sons and daughters to be brought up muslim, but it still a backwards tradition, no matter which country it's practiced in.

I understand what you are saying, but government legislation will not stop a family of strict belief or tradition from planning a marriage. There is almost no way to enforce it either. It could also be construed as racist to try and interfere as well.

I don't know anyway of solving it via government. It's down to the religious and tribal leaders to sort out, and that won't happen anytime soon.
 
penski said:
No - there is a definite line betwixt arranged and forced marriage.

If either party is not content and has been pressured or 'forced' (that's the clue right there ;)) into the marriage then it is not an arranged marriage but it is infact a forced marriage.

*n
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Quoted for the truth.
 
I thought the entire point of marriage was for 2 peolpe to be miserable for the rest of their lives?

However they should have the choice in the matter, whether its arranged or not, so long as its not forced then whats the problem?
 
ninja economist said:
I watched a documentary about it years ago, but off the top of my head it was most dominant among native tribes in places like Tanzania, Botswana and Swaziland. I can't remember the exact countries involved. It is also commonplace amongst muslims in these countries. It is understandable that they want their sons and daughters to be brought up muslim, but it still a backwards tradition, no matter which country it's practiced in.

I understand what you are saying, but government legislation will not stop a family of strict belief or tradition from planning a marriage. There is almost no way to enforce it either. It could also be construed as racist to try and interfere as well.

I don't know anyway of solving it via government. It's down to the religious and tribal leaders to sort out, and that won't happen anytime soon.
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Tanzania and botswana dont practices those kind of marriages. Perhaps, it can be pre-arranged i.e friend of mum and mum introduce the kids together to hit things off. ( i have friends from both countries)

Swaziland dont either but the King picks a new wife from thousands of teenage virgins every year (i am not saying this is right either)

As for the muslim bit, iirc (i used to be a muslim) the quran states that anyone going into a marriage without a complete heart or have doubt about it shouldnt and if they do it is blasphemous. I dont think it is a muslim thing, it is more or less a traditional thing but it is then mixed up with islam.
 
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penski said:
No - there is a definite line betwixt arranged and forced marriage.

If either party is not content and has been pressured or 'forced' (that's the clue right there ;)) into the marriage then it is not an arranged marriage but it is infact a forced marriage.

*n
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I think you need to take into account that for many people arranged marriages ARE (maybe in a more subtle way) forced. There is so much social pressure (mainly from family) to go through with it that the prospective bride/groom to be will go ahead with it anyhow, especially in pakistani families.

My best mate is Pakistani and has a friend who is going through the very same thing. She has voiced concerns but daredn't back out due to her father who has basically announced it to the community etc that she will be married to his friends son. If she backed out it would cause disgrace and shame to both families and alientnate her from those closest to her. Very sad... but thats just the way it is within their particular culture.
 
penski said:
No I am- that is exactly what I said.

*n
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I read what you wrote and I understand what you mean (and agree to a large extent), but I think the line isn't as 'definate' or as clear-cut as you put forward. She doesn't dislike the bloke she's marrying... she doesn't love him, so while she may live a decent, some would say "content" life with him, it certainly isn't her ideal. Just my opinion. :)
 
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Muban said:
You think there is a thin line...there is a massive difference between them. Many people in arranged marriages actively want it that way, who are we to stop them and what is wrong with it? Forced marriages are another thing entirely. Although there is no law against forcing people to marry there are laws in place to cover the methods which people use to coerce people into doing so (assault, threatening behaviour, harassment etc.). However, I do not think this goes far enough and there should be laws to cover the forcing of people to marry.
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While an arranged marriage is a old, backward thinking way of getting married it still happens and it's not so bad, so long both the husband and the wife agree and want to be married to eachother. But there are people out there that do not want to be married to whoever their mother or father want to, but want to find their own partner in life.

There was a thread not so long ago about it, how a girl's parents wanted her to get married to a guy from Pakistan, she didn't want to but I don't know what happened.

Anyway, Britain is one of the most soft countries I'v ever seen, your cops are like your friends, you can go have a chat with them and it's ok, here you will be probably get beaten then thrown in a cell. Even if you have done something you will always be called a suspect and not "oh my God MURDERERRRR!!!!" like it happens here, but you can't always make laws thinking weather it offends or not one or two guys.
 
there is a difference betwee arranged and forced marriages. i know lots of people who have had arranged marriages, none of them have been forced into it. The parents from both sides sat down and discussed it with the children. Out of all these people only a handfull of them ended up divorcing but this had nothing to do with the fact it was arranged, lets face it not all marriages work. I know forced ones dont but theres nothing wrong with arranged onces. it aint just a muslim thing or an asian thing, it happens in other parts of the world as well including africa.
 
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