Awkward Topic of Conversation - How to Approach

[Gerard]

do i have to forgo the sound effects for the sake of the neighbours really??

Replace them with sounds of a sheep getting molested just to get them interested.

 

[Six6siX]

Really not seeing the problem. Next time your alone with one or both of them just be adult and straight forward about it. Tell them some others in the house are not happy with the noise they are making and ask if they could please tone it down a little.

This is just another ocuk making a drama out of the nothing situation.

Not quite a nothing situation nor a drama, is it really? Its a question about an actual situation that I am asking on people's opinions on how they would deal with? Don't see the problem.

Stand outside the door with your Johnson out just after they finish, when the door opens ask them to carry on as you haven't finished?

LOL

"Hello, you are keeping several tenants awake at night. Could you please keep the noise down. Thank you."

What's hard about that? The noise they're making is due to throws of pasty smashing, yes. But it is no different to someone blasting out music at all hours.

Man up.

Good point, and it is likely that this will happen but surely you can see that the problem of someone playing loud music is a bit easier to approach and, yes its still noise but...its different?

Write an angry and anonymous note and leave it on the kitchen fridge door. This is the best way to deal with flatmate situations in 99% of cases

Like it! May try this first to see if the subtle approach works

 

[deusexlumina]

Just masturbate even louder outside thier door.

 

[Gerard]

Attack both of them with chloroform before they go into their room and shag them both.

 

[Six6siX]

You both snore funny.

Haha

Euch, my girlfriends flatmate was as bad as this with her boyfriend around. Nothing worse than getting woken up at around 2am to the sound of pasty being smashed until 4am on the day of an 9am exam...

They knew about the constant noise (almost every night), said they'd do something about it but never did.

That's a danger, they must surely realise they are being loud and people can hear! (Its audible outside ffs lol) and the worry is that if they don't care about that, they aren't as likely to care about what the others think.

You see I like my girl to sound like she's being murdered when we go at it, And I just don't know what the etiquette is with regards to neighbours. do i have to forgo the sound effects for the sake of the neighbours really??

 

[Fr0dders]

Leave a humerous note under their bedroom door

along the lines of, although we are delighted that you appear to be having a wonderful and fulfilling love life, could you please refrain from moaning the house down when going at it please.

Signed, your housemates

They'll be too embarrassed to say anything and gets the point across without appearing nasty.

 

[Six6siX]

Leave a humerous note under their bedroom door

along the lines of, although we are delighted that you appear to be having a wonderful and fulfilling love life, could you please refrain from moaning the house down when going at it please.

Signed, your housemates

They'll be too embarrassed to say anything and gets the point across without appearing nasty.

Nice, that makes sense, I liked the note idea and this is making it a bit better. Thanks.

 

[Dunks]

Haha



That's a danger, they must surely realise they are being loud and people can hear! (Its audible outside ffs lol) and the worry is that if they don't care about that, they aren't as likely to care about what the others think.

Oh yeah, they knew it was audible. It was mentioned every time the next day. I guess they just didn't seem to care in the 'heat of the moment'. Was even worse when they were drunk. The moaning got even louder, banging of the bed too...

 

[wannabedamned]

How about timing it next time... And then plant a note as if posted through your door that reads.

Dear people having sex

Me and a few friends sat on the wall outside your house last night having bets to see how long the stallion could go on for, Thanks to you I won £20 with a time of >insert duration<

Thank you again,

With love

The guys sat on your wall

 

[Minxy]

Engage them in a conversation about the poor build quality of your house and point out how thin the walls are.

 

[godinman]

Whenever they start the game, play a recording of the sound of a donkey braying as loudly as you possibly can TBH. If they don't get the hint from that, well, maybe then be more direct.

This.

 

[Tefal]

buy them a ball gag, leave it under the covers.

 

[atpbx]

Arent you grown up enough to just say to them, "hey guys, you wouldnt mind just keeping it down a bit when you are ******* we all have to live here you know, and hearing you two going at it isnt the most pleasant of things to be hearing at any time of the day".

or words to that effect.

 

[Gerard]

Mustard gas grenade through the window!

 

[Deadbeat]

"Dave, you're doing fine, but Mary, can you pace out your moaning a little more? It's disrupting my stroke rhythm. The panting's top-class, though"

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Passive aggressive option : note left on fridge/kitchen table.

Adult option : "Hey, could you please keep the noise down? Thanks very much."

 

[jp_bl_68]

Burst in on them and scream, "RAPE!!! I'll save you m'lady!" (then grapple with her naked attacker). Or just say, "I'm twelve and what is this?"

 

[Moredhel]

Change the house's WiFi SSID to "We can hear you having sex"...

 

[semi-pro waster]

Since you've already had the adult option of just talking to them suggested - how about setting up the sprinklers in your house (do you have to have them for an HMO permit in England?) to turn on in their room once a certain decibel level has been reached? Bit of effort and knowledge of electrics/plumbing required but should work on the same basis as throwing a bucket of water over amorous dogs...

 

[leaskovski]

Record it, wait until their parents are there then playing back with the volumn up loud!