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Back to work after paternity leave

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by thepharcyde, 16 Oct 2012.

  1. MeatLoaf

    Capodecina

    Joined: 1 Dec 2005

    Posts: 14,079

    Location: Stoke on Trent

    Ive recently become a dad again and my work wernt to happy with the 2 weeks i had off as my other half went in late at night and i was due in work at 7am the following morning. However they had to allow me to have the time off and cover my shifts.

    The pay was 90% of my usual pay or £95, whichever is the lesser amount, per week. So for the 2 weeks i got £195

    To the OP, have a google for Flexible Working, as you now have the right to ask for a more flexible working pattern where you can suggest the hours you wish to work.

    Ive recently done this and i asked to have my hours reduced from 48 hours to 32 hours and i also asked that I have the amount of night shifts i do reduced.

    They agreed and now i do 32 hours a week, and instead of nights every other weekend i now do them one weekend in 4 so thats not bad.
     
  2. realBabelfish

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,143

    lol @ daddy issues. never bothered me as i always had stuff to do when i was young. there wasnt enough hours in the day. i just dont want to make the same mistakes my dad did and regret it.

    Skidder, No1newts, ~TB~ - do you have kids? just curious.

    so, you think its ok to have a kid you only get to see at weekends as you want a better life? what about his life? would he prefer better toys or to see his dad?
     
  3. {SAS}TB

    Soldato

    Joined: 20 May 2007

    Posts: 6,462

    Location: Location: Location:

    I have 2 kids, 2 and 5, work full time and still see them every morning, evening and weekend

    Your "never bothered me" appears somewhat against your views / posts, given your OTT posts do you not think? that's definitely how it comes across, to me

    Lots of people have a good work life balance, some don't - just because you have experienced the bad (or so it would seem) don't tar everyone with the same brush perhaps ?
     
  4. LordSplodge

    Capodecina

    Joined: 28 Nov 2004

    Posts: 16,024

    Location: 9th Inner Circle

    Wanting to earn enough to give your child a good start is admirable. Working so much you miss seeing them grow up isn't. Balance.

    It goes from newborn to leaving home in the proverbial blink of an eye. Better, in my view, to make sacrafices with work than miss your child grow up.

    I've got a newborn grandchild and I'm putting time with him before time at work. Told my son the same thing. Mum and dad will help if you get short of money because time with your kid is more important that anything.
     
  5. Skidder

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Posts: 12,639

    Yes, I have two children (I presume once again you have been leaping to erroneous conclusions:p). Not that it is relevant but I work from home the majority of the time so see a great deal of them.

    You can infer very little regarding my views on parenting from what I have said in this thread other than I think you were harsh, un-empathetic and judgemental. Work life balance is very important but there are a million ways to skin a cat, rather than your my way or you're a terrible, money-obsessed, absent parent philosophy.
     
    Last edited: 17 Oct 2012
  6. realBabelfish

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,143

    so both of you are actually there for your kids... thats all i wanted to know. thanks.

    i am basically trying to say to the OP than money doesnt solve everything. and that he might regret it in the future. whats the point in earning loads then getting divorced and rarely seeing the kid?

    if he only sees his kid at the weekend (awake anyway) he will miss out on so many things, that he will most likely regret. at certain times of development kids can make so much improvement in a week. walking for example.

    the OP has said that he is putting money before his kid though, which i dont think is right.
     
  7. Skidder

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Posts: 12,639

    I understand your opinion, but your initial delivery was ridiculous. Do you behave like that in real life?
     
  8. Terrier_Jimlad

    Mobster

    Joined: 4 Nov 2006

    Posts: 2,733

    Location: Yorkshire

    Took an extra week off with both of mine as the missus had a C-Section with both of them, but god was I glad to get back to work, just to be able to have an adult conversation again (the missus didn't count, baby brain and all)
     
  9. Russinating

    Capodecina

    Joined: 27 Dec 2005

    Posts: 16,622

    Location: Bristol

    Stupid statement. Work isn't about working, it's about earning money.

    I'm sure plenty of people have gone to the grave wishing that they'd traveled the world, been able to support their family more, done exciting things etc. And unfortunately 99% of cool things to do cost money.
     
  10. Basher

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 9,144

    BS, of course they have.

    I can think of plenty of people who wish they'd worked harder to earn the money to give their family a better life.
     
  11. realBabelfish

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,143

    do you? your comment was more OTT than mine, IMO.

    how am i un-empathetic? he said he is putting cash before his family. whereas i am saying to think of the child. if anything i am being very empathic. i am just warning him that many people i know who have done that are now single, paying massive child maintenance and not living in their nice homes any more.

    of course he can do what he wants but he will miss many things. things you cannot get back later in life. if he is ok with that then fine. my concern is more with the child than the adult.

    you dont need a crystal ball to know that not spending time with a child will mean you wont form the same bond with a kid that you spend time with.
     
  12. rgzcampbell

    Hitman

    Joined: 4 Nov 2002

    Posts: 706

    Location: Blairgowrie

    My son was born in May this year and I had 2 weeks full paid paternity plus a couple of weeks annual leave. Whilst I'm glad of the break by going to work, I only see my son for half an hour or so in the morning, if he's awake and 2-3 hours in the evening plus weekends. Now I don't work ridiculous hours (leave the house at 8 and I'm back home by 6). If I worked longer hours I would never see him awake!
     
  13. The IPB

    Mobster

    Joined: 15 Jul 2005

    Posts: 3,424

    Location: Drinking tea somewhere

    It's not always about working harder though is it.

    My dad has worked hard his entire life to support his family, probably still never earned more than £25k, doesn't mean he doesn't work hard.
     
  14. Skidder

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Posts: 12,639

    You appear to know a great deal about how the guys work life balance and future relationship with his child will pan out from just a couple of lines of text. You made pretty cruel blanket statements about not bonding and missing all formative steps while I just enjoyed being a bit pompous. Get off your high horse.
     
  15. Ugley_Matt

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 8 Jul 2005

    Posts: 1,567

    You will soon be glad to have the excuse to leave the little snot filled noise makers at home.

    Love ya really kids ;)
     
  16. No1newts

    Capodecina

    Joined: 24 May 2009

    Posts: 20,153

    Location: North East

    I have a child who is 16 month. I took a less well paid job but much better hours/family viewpoint from company to be at home more. I work 40 hours now (officially 37.5) down from 60+ and much happier for being there for the little one. His first was dad as well much to my wife's disgust :D

    Just found your delivery a little OTT :)
     
  17. realBabelfish

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,143

    i guess it was. i just feel sorry for a kid who wont see their dad much. i just think the OP will regret his decisions in years to come. but its his choice.

    yeah. mine said dad months before mum :) hehe... but then again, dads are more fun than mums arent they? :)
     
  18. No1newts

    Capodecina

    Joined: 24 May 2009

    Posts: 20,153

    Location: North East

    Of course! She keeps him safe and sets the rules, I let him break the rules and cause pandemonium :D
     
  19. realBabelfish

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,143

    as said, he has already said about work life balance

    "Been receiving regular updates from work as to the workload and expecting 50 hour weeks with an hour commute so 7am I leave work and arrive home 7pm"

    so, he might see him for an hour a day. thats a terrible work life balance.

    fair play that he can work from home though, i missed that initially.

    anyway. i will leave this now. its the OP's decision i just wanted to warn him.

    <rides off on high horse>
     
  20. realBabelfish

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,143

    my wife is too scared to swing him around by his ankles. he loves it though! :)