Associate
What does an Essex girl use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
A bus shelter.
***Bad Joke Thread***
- Thread starter Castiel
- Start date
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Caporegime
How are big girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Caporegime
"Our Uncle Henry is living with us, he's mad, he thinks he's a chicken"
"Well why don't you get rid of him then?"
"Because we need the eggs"
"Well why don't you get rid of him then?"
"Because we need the eggs"
i lol'd @ that
Man of Honour
My Missus likes me to eat food off her belly.
She's a right Cracker.
+ 
= 
She's a right Cracker.
+ =
Associate
Two eggs in a frying pan.
One says "Cor, it's getting hot in here"
The other screams "**** me, a talking egg!"
One says "Cor, it's getting hot in here"
The other screams "**** me, a talking egg!"
Soldato
Associate
How many dyslexics does it take to change a liggityblub?
Associate
My neighbour knocked on my door the other day.
He said, "You gotta come quick- there's six big blokes beating up your mother-in-law outside!"
"Oh, right..."
"Well, aren't you going to help?
"Nah, six should be plenty.".
(With a nod to the late, great Les Dawson...).
He said, "You gotta come quick- there's six big blokes beating up your mother-in-law outside!"
"Oh, right..."
"Well, aren't you going to help?
"Nah, six should be plenty.".
(With a nod to the late, great Les Dawson...).
Associate
Did you hear the one about the sex-crazed burglar?
He couldn't blow the safe so he went down on the elevator...
S'ok folks, I'm running out of clean ones now!
He couldn't blow the safe so he went down on the elevator...
S'ok folks, I'm running out of clean ones now!
Associate
I shot someone with a starting pistol, now I'm being charged with race crimes...