***Bad Joke Thread***

[jeff6475]

Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China ?
Everybody won.

 

[jeff6475]

Got through to a call centre in Pakistan ..
Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a
plane......

 

[Deadbeat]

 

[Darr2cool78]

I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!"

I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

 

[jeff6475]

I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!"

I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

lool

 

[Castiel]

while playng football, keith gets badly tackled and breaks his leg.

"Call me an Ambulance" Keith screams.....

His teammate Steve shrugs and says "Ok Keith....You're an Ambulance!"





*that actually happened*

 

[Vespasian777]

A crocodile walks into the bar. Barman says, " why the long face? ".

 

[jeff6475]

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden
shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now **** off!'

 

[mattyprice4004]

What's the difference between a chicken?

One of its legs are both the same.

I actually got a really bad twitch when trying to understand that.

 

[Castiel]

What's it called when you lend money to a bison?


A Buffa-loan!!!

 

[Spuj]

A customer asks "in what section will i find Irish sausage?"
The assistant asks "why are you Irish?"
Clearly offended, the man replies "yes i am, but let me ask you something.
If i had asked for bratwurst would you have asked me if I was german?. Or if I'd asked for tacos would you have asked me if i was mexicen?"
"Probably not" says the assistant.
"so why ask me if im Irish "


"Because you're in Halfords''

 

[King Damager]

A man walks into a bar.

OUCH!

kd

 

[sunny007]

 

[DoneADougalOnSofa]

A customer asks "in what section will i find Irish sausage?"
The assistant asks "why are you Irish?"
Clearly offended, the man replies "yes i am, but let me ask you something.
If i had asked for bratwurst would you have asked me if I was german?. Or if I'd asked for tacos would you have asked me if i was mexicen?"
"Probably not" says the assistant.
"so why ask me if im Irish "


"Because you're in Halfords''

Nice one. Just spluttered coffee onto my desk...
Greetings from just down the A4!

 

[Castiel]

What do you get when you cross a Tyrannosaurus Rex with fireworks?

Dino-Mite.......



*groans*




Why was the sand wet?

Becuase the Sea Weed.......




*groans even more*

 

[RomanNose]

Why was Dec uncomfortable?.

Ant's in his pants.

 

[Shayper]

What has four legs, is green, furry and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?




A pool table.

------

Whats huge, grey and can't climb trees?

A car park.

------

What's green and invisible?

This cabbage.

-------

And one that I made:

What's the difference between a spy and a scouser?

One's shy work, the other's work shy.

 

[Castiel]

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

 

[RomanNose]

Last year my mates sponsored me to run the London Marathon backwards.

It took me over eight hours to fight my way through the oncoming crowd but eventually I made it to the starting line.

 

[Spuj]

Nice one. Just spluttered coffee onto my desk...
Greetings from just down the A4!

, hiya!

A couple were cuddling up in bed on their wedding night; 'Darling' the bride said. 'I have a confession.......I used to be a hooker'.Taken aback the groom thought for a while and then replied: 'actually that's quite erotic....tell me about it'.'Well' she replied. 'My name was Nigel and I played for Wigan'