Being a Dad for the 1st time

[Sonea Fifer]

Actually I would say deciding to end a family bloodline on those reasons is very selfish.
The world you bring your child up in, is as only as bad as you make it. As for finances, you must be on quite a low wage if you couldn't afford to go on holiday with a child.
But that's strictly my opinion on it, I'm not saying you are in the wrong

then again, one of you can easily change your mind in the future, you might say now it will never happen, but there is some thing out there that will make you or the missus crack one day. I hope for your sake it's not too late if/when that happens.

Hi there

I agree up to a point that the world you bring your child up in is shaped by yourselves, but unfortunately too many people have other ideas on how the world should be shaped that we may not all agree with. At the end of the day you can only advise and influence your children so much before they'll want to experience other things that you may not agree with!

Regarding low wage - we're not exactly stinking rich but we're living comfortably at the moment with both of us in full time employment

As for bloodline, well it's not just down to me! My wife has brothers who have kids (I'm an uncle) and I'm sure if she desires when she grows up she may well decide to have her own kids but there's no pressure.

I feel a bit sorry for you - putting material things above having children. I'm sure you can justify it to yourselves, but when all is said and done, your own bloodlines will die out with you.

Again that's just down to individuals preference, we've decided having children is not the be all and end all and would rather have material possessions and enjoy life without any ties!

He'll be dead, so he wont have an awful lot of time to be that concerned about his 'bloodline' dying.

Lol - cheers Fox.

 

[stopper]

Again that's just down to individuals preference, we've decided having children is not the be all and end all and would rather have material possessions and enjoy life without any ties!

I'm curious as to how you came about that decision really.
Because there is nothing better in this world than guiding and nurturing a life that you created, from a baby into it's own adult independence. I would never call it a "tie" either, more like a miracle experience, one that no one should ever go without.
It's human nature to want to reproduce, so to have that totally natural feeling overturned by material possessions and money (which you can still have with a child), will be the reason why most here think it's a selfish decision.

 

[fullspizz]

I was 41 and my wife 39 when we had our first.
We decided over 10 years ago that we would try to do some of the things that we planned together, exotic hols, etc, before we tried for children. The reasoning behind it was that we would be older (and hopefully wiser) and on a more stable financial footing.

The risks do get greater for a woman the older she gets and we only found out after my wife gave birth that she suffers from a condition that means she would never carry past 30 weeks. (She has a heart shaped womb ie: Bicornuate uterus)
We have decided now though that even though we would like another, the risks associated with the type of condition are too great. We were lucky with our son, he was able to breathe on his own (due to my wife being given steroids for babies lungs) and was a decent weight at 3lb 1oz. The time spent in the neo-natal unit with him made us realise how lucky we had been in comparison to other parents/children.
He was born on the 8th October last year and now weighs in at 12lb.

 

[Hades]

I'm 42 now and have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. If I had my time again then I'd have them earlier. I'm absolutely knackered all the time (although I do work massive hours too). I'd much prefer to have had them in my 20's looking back at things.

It really depends on whether you really want children or not. If you do then go for it. If you're not too bothered about it then I'd say 40 is the upper limit. But also be aware that it does get harder to conceive later in life. So if you decide to have them, then it can sometimes be very stressful when it doesn't happen overnight.

I love my children absolutely unconditionally. They have enriched my wife so much. I look at them and my heart melts. Life has meaning with them. When I'm having a terrible day at work I think of them and it becomes totally worth the stress. But if I had never known my children then I could equally have happilly gone through life without them (that's impossible now that I know, and love, them absolutely of course).

You don't know the real meaning of love until you hold your own children in your arms. It changes your life completely.