BLOODY PRIVATE HOSPITAL BILL - Leave me ALONE!!!

Associate
Joined
13 Mar 2005
Posts
878
Location
Bristol
My Email to a debt collector... do you think they'll stop bugging me now:

Adam

Sorry to be utterly miffed off at this. I don't know how many times they want to lose cheques and claim they haven't received monies and then state they will be sending debt collectors (a good thing this wasn't part of the conversation this morning. I would have ended up doing a stompy angry dinosaur impression).

Please find attached a screen shot showing you... well. Not much. But I don't like sending my bank stuff online.

CHQ ****** : £160
CHQ ****** : £15

It would turn out that the £160.00 left my account on the ** November 2011 and the £15.00 on the ** December 2011.

It's funny how they blooming well can see £15.00 going out on the ** November... the wrong date for that cheque! I bet they have some secretarial bimbo checking these figures who is far too intent on checking how well polished her nails are in case any of their near-death-old-biddy-style high paying private patients decide to take a fancy to her at reception. That way she can cunningly deceive them into a loving relationship where she can have her name etched into this poor but wealthy elephant skinned old persons will, all in the knowledge that eventually he will receive a million and 3 phone calls stating he "hasn't paid" for his private vital life saving hospital treatment nearly 8 months ago and pop his corks because the annoyance and upset of it is all too much.

I am getting annoyed at being bent over by this stupid hospital bill... they already had the pleasant experience of shoving (what felt like) a 5 foot stick up my butt... why continue to do this to me mentally!?! I understand this must have been a traumatic experience for them venturing into the depths of the unknown but by heck it was more traumatic for me, especially seeing as I was being accompanied by my boyfriend of 3 months and he witnessed the nurse leave the room with a bowl of "something suspicious".

So.

Please. PLEASE can you inform them that they need to sort out this bimbo and get their records straight before they send another unfortunate person to phonecall me and hear the lengthy rantiness of my wrathness.

If there are any problems please do not hesitate to contact me. Please note I will not be held responsible for any broken IT hardware from any spillages or spitting out of tea due to reading the content of this email.

Yours Sincerely

Clare-Who-is-Never-Paying-For-A-Doctor-to-Roger-her-butt-ever-Again.

I am THE stompy dinosaur anger.

I had the unfortunate experience last year of paying to go private due to a concern of on going pains in my side for over 5 months (and the NHS waiting list meant I would have to wait a further 6 months to be seen).

I seriously regret the day though of turning up at the private section of the hospital with all their wonderfully decorative fake flowers and a bimbo of a secretary that's equivalent to an annoying version of Eva-the-receptionist from Grim Fandango.

I am fed up of debt calls and threats of bailiffs... I just want them to BUGGER RIGHT OFF!! ARGhGHGRhghGHHHH
 
Capodecina
Soldato
Joined
30 Jul 2006
Posts
12,129
CAB or CAG

I know that they are all disappearing fast, but have you tried speaking to someone at the Citizen's Advice Bureau about this? I believe also that you are entitled to a certain amount of no- or low-cost advice from some solicitors.

Final suggestion, I believe that there is / used to be a forum called something like "Consumer Assistance Group UK" who may be able to help with issues such as this.

Whatever you do, deal with it; Debt Collection Agencies are persistent and a complete badly regulated nightmare. Good luck :)


ps - this sort of thing is what we will all have to look forward to as the Tories privatise the NHS :(
 
Caporegime
Joined
29 Aug 2007
Posts
27,491
Location
Auckland
I know that they are all disappearing fast, but have you tried speaking to someone at the Citizen's Advice Bureau about this? I believe also that you are entitled to a certain amount of no- or low-cost advice from some solicitors.

Final suggestion, I believe that there is / used to be a forum called something like "Consumer Assistance Group UK" who may be able to help with issues such as this.

Whatever you do, deal with it; Debt Collection Agencies are persistent and a complete badly regulated nightmare. Good luck :)


ps - this sort of thing is what we will all have to look forward to as the Tories privatise the NHS :(

This is amazing.
 
Permabanned
Joined
9 Jun 2009
Posts
11,904
Location
London, McLaren or Radical
All that letter will have done is alienate the reader... that is not how you communicate well, especially to people like this.

I hope you get shot of them, but you really need to learn how to right letters that are both communicative and worded appropriately to the context :(
 
Soldato
Joined
23 May 2005
Posts
2,964
Location
Auckland, New Zealand
The letter is embarrassing at best. You're even flinging out sexist comments about secretarial "bimbo"s. Trying to be funny (and really not succeeding) comes off as trying to be friendly. When it comes to financial matters like this one, there is no room for chumminess. Respond to them in the same threatening and stern manner that the letters to you are written.

Keep it short and simple. Don't bother saying please - you're obviously past niceties. Give them the proof you've paid and demand you stop being harassed. Threaten them with legal action if the action against you continues past this point.
 
Soldato
Joined
23 May 2005
Posts
2,964
Location
Auckland, New Zealand
Also, your first word is "Sorry"! What do you have to be sorry about? You want them to be appolgising to YOU.

try this:

Adam,

Please find attached the proof of payment for the requested amounts. If you require more official proof, let me know and I will request it from my bank.

I do not appreciate being harassed over payments that have already been settled. If this continues to happen, I will seek action against you.

Regards,
Clare
 
Associate
Joined
13 Mar 2005
Posts
878
Location
Bristol
Sent a few emails prior which is all straight laced and formal and it didn't work :) Hoping this one catches their attention!

Love some of the responses, made me properly lol! The spider is genius.

The beauty of it is I've paid :D And I have statements! And I have spoken to every Tom Dick and Harry about it! Either way, I'm off for a year and a half soon globe trotting so they can worry their knickers off about it whilst I'm elsewhere :)
 
Associate
Joined
13 Mar 2005
Posts
878
Location
Bristol
And dude, I am sorry to be angry at Adam... it's not his fault afterall :) Which I said on the phone!

Keep your knickers on ;D
 
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