Camping, tell me funny stories

danza said:
My last couple of outings have involved almighty quantities of beer, my best mates and:

-Throwing water over each other, including in a very busy pub which ended up in complaints to us.
-Playing catch with a huge marrow, which was really painful (we had to bring a surprise item each, and the only one who remembered to do it brought a marrow). The marrow eventually exploded.
-Trying to loosen up my incredibly aggressive/up tight mate with an extra shot of vodka in a couple of his pints (he spent about an hour trying to reason why he suddenly felt really drunk, puked everywhere and passed out). Regretted that one.
-Falling in a river whilst trying to pee in it (same mate, different trip).
-Destroying a fence around a permanent pitch by staggering through it and collapsing in a heap (same mate again, on his way to said river).
-Busting my toe running barefoot along a river bank after too much beer.
-Being shouted at by the campsite owner for going onto neighbouring land with a felling axe.
-Playing made up games where questions are asked with impossible answers, the penalty of being unable to answer is a full-pelt smack to the arm.
-The person with the least beer in their can gets to take charge of the 'drink up bat' and is allowed to beat everyone else whilst they try to catch up.
-Drunk rounders (always brilliant).
-Nettle jumping (very painful). One mate went to the pub, shirtless and with pockets absolutely bursting with huge wads of dockleaves after a bit of nettle jumping.

Going again next weekend, I can't wait. Only allowed to drink cider this time too (and water/coffee), which should be interesting.

It all sounds very childish, which it is (we're all 30). Some of us are in management, and all have decent jobs. 3 of us are married. I think we just blow off a year's worth of steam when we go, and it inevitably gets a bit out of hand.
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You missed off cow-tipping....
 
Camping in wales years back... me on my own no gf at the time and 4 mates, which consisted of two couples.

Anyway we all goto bed its black as space and one of the girls gets up for a wee... the other girl hears this and also decides to go for a wee... you know how girls are.

Anyway they return and, you can see where this is going, they go into the wrong tents! too busy talking i guess... in fairness the tents were identical and arranged around the fire in a circle.

Anyway somehow they both manage to get back in the sleeping bags with the lads and somehow neither exchange words with the male they are now in bed with.

Some minutes pass and one of the lads decides to get busy with what he thinks is his mrs... and she still thinks she is with her BF!

Apparently things got as far as her being able to think "bloomin hell hes bigger than i remember!" before all hell breaks loose and the screaming and shouting started :D

The two girls were very similar in build and hair length so i guess in total darkness with no words exchanged its understandable how it happened.

It was all hilarious to me of course, but it took a while for things to calm down. We had all drunk a fair bit and all sleepy so it was put down to that.

The lad involved was very remorseful but to this day he is still proud in the knowledge thay he got to hump his mates gf and got away with it.... if only for a minute or so lol

I guess its an urban legend in the making but it was so funny... i thought someone was being murdered at first when the screams started... made all the funnier by the fact the other couple woke with a start like i did, turned a

torch on and found out to their horror they were with the wrong person, probably also in a state of undress with things poking legs lol... and they started screaming lol..... i nearly wet myself :p
 
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In April 2008 I went to an event at Donington Park race track, it was a full weekend thing so there were about 5000 people camping in the 'car park' field.

Sunday morning came and the sides of the tent were sagging inwards and it looked like something was stuck to the outside. So I hit it and it fell off.

Curious as to what it was I opened my tent door and was confronted by this:

snowdp08.jpg
 
I once went camping with my mates years ago. Iorganised the whole thing and tbh most of my mates were a bit of a handfull and couldnt be trusted with anything so I was naturally worried they would forget something.

Cue me turning up to the campsite without a tent or sleeping bag :)
 
A few weeks ago. We had a small tent but decided we needed something bigger to accommodate ourselves and our baby boy. We stopped off and got something bigger on the way - then I had the (what I thought was a) brilliant idea of using the small tent as a storage room. It was great....until about 2am when I was woken up by the sound of the "storage tent" being ransacked by raccoons. Got out with the flashlight and saw them all scatter.....then saw all our stuff thrown around the site. They had even opened the cooler box and drank the orange juice. Strangely, they had left the donuts and nuts, but eaten into the freezer packs and sucked out the liquid :eek:

My missus was amazed that they had managed to use their paws to open the zippers, but I assured her that racoons are incredibly dexterous and smart. What I didn't tell her was that I had crept out for donuts at around midnight and forgot to close the door flaps when I had finished stuffing my face :o
 
Curio said:
A few weeks ago. We had a small tent but decided we needed something bigger to accommodate ourselves and our baby boy. We stopped off and got something bigger on the way - then I had the (what I thought was a) brilliant idea of using the small tent as a storage room. It was great....until about 2am when I was woken up by the sound of the "storage tent" being ransacked by raccoons. Got out with the flashlight and saw them all scatter.....then saw all our stuff thrown around the site. They had even opened the cooler box and drank the orange juice. Strangely, they had left the donuts and nuts, but eaten into the freezer packs and sucked out the liquid :eek:

My missus was amazed that they had managed to use their paws to open the zippers, but I assured her that racoons are incredibly dexterous and smart. What I didn't tell her was that I had crept out for donuts at around midnight and forgot to close the door flaps when I had finished stuffing my face :o
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Hahahahaahah. :D
 
Drink induced tales are normally the best. We thought it would be a good idea to play catch with a full schnapps bottle, lobbed it in the air and an unsuspecting mate caught it to the head and got knocked out. Was scary as well as absolutely hilarious. He awoke knowing nothing about it and with a huge egg on his head. The same night I woke up in a puddle of cider and then got so mad I thought it would be a good idea to walk home in the ****ing rain at 2AM, now this was only a ~4 mile walk but it somehow took me until 8AM to get home whilst trying to avoid police at the time. Outrageous night.
 
Download festival a few years ago, was in the tent with my GF, having passed out after a litre or so of vodka. wake up in the middle of the night, needing to use the 'facilities' (read fence!).
Was quite an urgent call, as you can imagine being that drunk, and with 100m of tightly packed tents to navigate, so I thought 'to hell with it, no time to find my clothes'....all going reasonably ok, maybe a few people a bit shocked, a few guy ropes tripped over etc, until I returned, forgetting about the near identical tent a few foot away from me......which I then, predictably, tried to get into, much to the dismay of the couple inside.
After a loud scream, my GF shouted, realising what had happened, and I went back to my own tent, promptly knocking over the remaining half litre of vodka that was in my tent all over our bedding!
 
went camping in my back garden once woke up to a badger looking at me , so i grabbed my girlfreind and pushed her at it, the badger of course had its way with her while that was going on i decided to go back in the house and watch babestation as internet was down and didnt have telep[hone line plugged in to order some real xxx movies .

After the badger was done with my girl freind i decided to lock her out of the house and said look you wanted to go camping so you can stay out all night untill the morning.



when morning came there was no-one there owell guess my gf decided the badgers life was for her,

a few minutes left and all of a sudden this beaver walked to me .................


thats another story for another day


hope u enjoyed my true story i'll get u a picture as have some somewhere
 
The scout master raped them all....

In all seriousness it involves download, lots of mud, lots of beer and some illegal substances.
 
1979 South of France.
I was on a 30 tent campsite and sitting in front of a tent playing The Sutherland Brothers - Arms Of Mary when somebody shouted 'FIRE'.
The tent was on fire and I dropped the guitar and ran off with everybody else.
Within minutes 29 of the 30 tents were burnt to the ground and the only untouched one was mine :)
Within hours we had rebuilt the site but everybody (except me and my mate) had lost everything so we provided clothes here and there but to be honest there wasn't much to do and you could easily stay in the same shorts & t-shirt for 2 weeks while running in the sea to wash.

I have many other campsite stories but it's a family forum.
 
When I was in the Scouts we went for a week long camp down near the south coast, (somewhere near Poole / Christchurch). One of the guys had brought a rugby ball and we were messing around with it in the field next to the campsite. Next to that was a field with a heard of Cows in, separated by a barbed wire fence. One afternoon while we were mucking around with the rugby ball in the field we noticed that all of the Cows had gathered next to the fence and had started to look slightly menacing. We sort of continued for a bit until one of the Scouts (I think his name was Jack) then decided to go and urinate against the fence near to where the heard of Cows had gathered. The Cows must have got rather annoyed at this as while he was walking over the Cows began to grunt / snort a little. The rest of us pick up the ball and began to move toward the gate out of the field. As he started to pee against the fence the snorting began to get louder and the Cows looked more annoyed / aggressive, Jack did up is fly in rather a hurry and turned round and started to walk toward the rest of us, who at this time were about 3/4 of the way across the field stood in a line watching him and the Cows. As soon as he turned his back on the and began waking one of the Cows let out a loud snort and then started to ram the fence separating the two fields. Jack started running. The Cows then preceded to trample the fence and try to charge us, we pegged it back into the field where we were camping and hastily tried to lock the gate behind us.

While in the Minibus on the way home we noticed a wheel shoot out from in front of us across lanes of traffic and end up in the center of the road ( I can't remember if it was a duel carriageway way or motorway we were on at the time). It turned out that the van that had been carrying all of our stuff back from camp had lost its front wheel. Luckily no one was hurt.
 
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