Can i have a parents view on this?

Naffa

Naffa

Naffa

Soldato
Joined
4 Sep 2005
Posts
11,453
Location
Bristol
hello,
my 23 year old step brother is still living at home. hes just completed a degree in Graphic Design (somehow) and is now saving up to go traveling. hes currently employed in Tool Station full time starting at 7:30 and finishing at 5:00. he works every week and some saturdays. but heres my problem, hes paying no rent what so ever, he doesnt pay for any of his own food.. not even toothpaste :o i was just wondering what other people thought about this?
im 15 and later on this year when i finish school and become 16, im going to get a job and pay my mum rent every month or just some money to put into the house.. she doesnt expect me to but i want to. he doesnt do anything around the house at all, all he does is moan about everything and complain :o

if you were in the same situation, would you think he should be paying rent? and if so how much?

thanks for your input
naffa
 
I'm not a parent, but if I was I'd do him a favor and suggest he moved out. Living at home at 23? Why has he not got his own place? If there's a good reason why he's still at home he should be paying rent really (I would).
 
tbh If he is in education/just finished I wouldnt expect him to pay rent (im only 17 not a parent :P), but if you go straight from school to get a job its only fair to pay rent, its the same at my house I could have left at 16 got a job but have to pay rent, instead I went on too do a levels = still with mates and rent free :) , not trying to tell you what to do but think about college it can be really useful and can mean you can get loads more money in the long run and you probably wont have to pay rent !!! bonus!
 
Im in a similar situation to your step brother, in that I completed my degree in Computer Animation last yea. Im now living with my parents again. Ive currently got a part time job(Not enough hours or pay, but decent experience for what I want to do.) But I pay my parents £130 a month, which IMO is not much at all, considering that covers rent, food, electricity etc. If I had a fulltime job, i'd expect to pay at least £250 a month. So yes, I think your Step Brother should contribute, even just out of principle.
 
Not a parent but I've been paying rent since I was 16 and got my first part time job and I'm still living at home at 24, so I'm in a similar situation to your step brother.

Your step brother sounds a bit selfish, living at home without contributing to things and then with all the money he hasn't paid out as rent he is going to swan off around the world.

At least you have a responsible outlook, you should be applauded for wanting to help your mum out with the money.
 
I probably would expect some sort of rent and certainly some help around the house.
Having said that anything I received would be going into a pot of savings to be handed back when needed later (although he would not know that).
Then again I would not expect my teenage son to be telling me how to parent :p
 
i am 18 still living at home but most 18 are :) i am working 8 till 5 and paying £30 a week board , will be paying more when i pay my £1500 debt off
 
Zefan said:
Living at home at 23? Why has he not got his own place?
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1) Maybe he likes living with his parents and isn't in a great hurry to get away from them like some people seem to be.
2) He seems to be on a good number (no rent etc...), not that I share that view.
3) House prices.

Just a few of the reasons why he might not be in a hurry to leave.
 
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I think you are overlooking the crux of the matter.

Are your parents bothered? Its their house, their rules, if they don't mind then what business is it of yours?

If you want to pay rent then good on you, it sounds like you are conciencious and caring individual with high moral standards which is rare these days. But don't dictate whether you brother is in the wrong because he does not conform to your ideals.

MB
 
Matblack said:
I think you are overlooking the crux of the matter.

Are your parents bothered? Its their house, their rules, if they don't mind then what business is it of yours?

If you want to pay rent then good on you, it sounds like you are conciencious and caring individual with high moral standards which is rare these days. But don't dictate whether you brother is in the wrong because he does not conform to your ideals.

MB
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my mum and stepdad are very bothered.. they tell me about it all the time. thats why i started to notice about the way he acts.. but what im thinking is that if theyre so bothered then why dont they ask him to pay rent :confused: but i think that will be on the cards pretty soon. hes leaving in may so a few months isnt going to hurt his cash pile too much.
 
Matblack said:
Its their house, their rules, if they don't mind then what business is it of yours?
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furthermore, you might be in the same situation yourself one day and you'll realise just how tight money can get, and you'll appreciate your parent's generosity.

edit: post somewhat void.
 
Well if they are bothered then they should ask him to pay, telling you that they are bothered and not him is just poor family politics to be honest, he might be completely unware that they feel that way which isn't really fair on him.

HEADRAT
 
naffa said:
my mum and stepdad are very bothered.. they tell me about it all the time. thats why i started to notice about the way he acts.. but what im thinking is that if theyre so bothered then why dont they ask him to pay rent :confused: but i think that will be on the cards pretty soon. hes leaving in may so a few months isnt going to hurt his cash pile too much.
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I'd have a barney with your parents not your brother, tell them to tell him straight and stop taking it out on you. He's not really at fault if he isn't given an ultimatum.

MB
 
Just finished Uni and wanting to go traveling, 3 or 4 years of a liquid diet, his Mum probably wants him home so she can fatten him up a bit and make sure kidneys and liver are in good order before he's let out into the real world.

Have you seen the price of houses lately? doesn't matter where you are in the country, they cose a bomb.

He should contribute. he must be clearing £210+ a week (40 hours £5.25 per hour minimum for someone that age i think).

£30-£40 a week would be a bargain and still leave him with enough to save for traveling.
 
Im 22 living at home, in full time employment (13k pa) dont pay any rent, never have, never will.

My parents dont ask for it because if I pay rent I will never be able to afford a home of my own this side of being 30 !!! Instead I simply save my money for the future, currently 20k in the bank and in a few years when im ready to leave I will have enough to put straight into a house. At the rate I have been saving I will have 80k in 4 years. What would I have if I had to pay my money for rent ? Not a fat lot, thats for sure. My parents havent asked any of us for rent and were all better off for it, thankfully they can afford to support us
 
I live at home and I dont pay rent, I earn £800 a month, I couldnt afford to move out and I cant afford to pay rent, I pay for the Internet and Sky.

I buy most of my own food, I think its stupid to charge your kids money for living at home, aslong as they help with the washing and look after the house like an adult it wouldnt bother me.

Your step brother is a far from an adult.
 
ok, so most of you think that a 23 year old living at home paying no rent, not buying any of his own food, not contributing to the house in any way is ok? his gf is also living here pretty much all the time as well and shes the same. if the familly business wasn't doing so badly atm then it may not be such an issue but its just the fact hes earning so much money and 'saving' it. he goes up to exeter nearly every month to go to a big party and regularly hosts them here. if he has money to spend on stuff like this when hes always keeping up the idea that hes adamently saving to go traveling then whats £100 a month guna hurt? i just think that my parents would really apriciate some kind of input to the house from him.
 
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