Can someone please proof read my CV?

anksta

anksta

anksta

Soldato
Joined
19 Jan 2005
Posts
2,722
Hi, I'm sick of this place and everyone in it so I'm gonna try and shut up shop and move away. Bold I know, but worth a try I think.

Anyway, the job I am applying for (I'm gonna go for a lot of others as well though, just really like this one) is the Editorial Assistant for Children's Audio books. I've been round audio books all my life and they actually do interest me.

So I've written my CV and a cover letter, its all true, I just wanted your opinion, I'd normally ask my mum but she isnt here right now.

Anyway, here it is, I'd really value any sort of relevant comments people have.

Cheers
 
You might want to organise the information to the right of your dates better. It looked like quite an unappealling block of text to me.
 
imo the education section is a bit verbose- should only really contain a breakdown of courses and grades achieved for school. Also I would break the vertical line between sections but that might just be personal preference :)
 
M0KUJ1N said:
imo the education section is a bit verbose- should only really contain a breakdown of courses and grades achieved for school. Also I would break the vertical line between sections but that might just be personal preference :)
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ok will change the education thing, cheers
 
And I also don't like this part;

Studied aerospace engineering at the University of Leeds, average grade of 2.1 achieved.
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What course is it? BA, BSC, HND?? I would put it as
University of Leeds - BSC aerospace engineering - 2.1 (Or if you havent receive the grade yet simply put TBA(To be announced))
 
CK Home Appliances, Bury, sales staff, duties included...
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should be more differentiated. CK Home app should not run into the next sentence, for example. Same goes for other work experiences.


Mixing of writing styles:

'I achieved one of the largest...'
'was required to use...'
'worked as a...'



'Attended St Gabriel’s RC High School, Bury where I obtained 9 GCSE l'

*you* attended <school> where *you* obtained 9 GCSE..
or
Attended <school> where 9 GCSEs were obtained




Work experiences are a bit 'job-descriptiony' ie you haven't said much about what *you* brought to the job.

'utilized' :(


edit:

NEVER start a letter "I am writing this letter"

more coming probably after that start :p \/ \/

Dear Sir doesn't match with Sincerely

'Like any child...' colloquial, inaccurate.

'Children have very short attention spans and I consider myself experienced in finding ways to entertain children. On several....'

last paragraph needs a re-write. Not enough full stops, and I'm not sure if you have missed out/misplaced some commas.

Perhaps this could be used:
'I am looking for something that offers personal satisfaction whilst I pursue it professionally'
?
 
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yeah fair point, I am gonna drop out though and I havent got a BEng so thoguht I'd shirk away from that but I'll put in now you noticed.
 
Amleto said:
should be more differentiated. CK Home app should not run into the next sentence, for example. Same goes for other work experiences.


Mixing of writing styles:

'I achieved one of the largest...'
'was required to use...'
'worked as a...'



'Attended St Gabriel’s RC High School, Bury where I obtained 9 GCSE l'

*you* attended <school> where *you* obtained 9 GCSE..
or
Attended <school> where 9 GCSEs were obtained




Work experiences are a bit 'job-descriptiony' ie you haven't said much about what *you* brought to the job.

'utilized' :(
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Fair points there, quite glad I did this now actually.

Its utilized for 2 reasons, one its an american company I'm applyin to and also my Word is in US thingy for some reason and it changed it on its own.

Keep them coming guys, appreciated.
 
Amleto said:
edit:

NEVER start a letter "I am writing this letter"

more coming probably after that start :p \/ \/

Dear Sir doesn't match with Sincerely
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I looked on Wikipedia for advice on cover letters and it said I should get to the point in the first part, it says sincereley because it is in American format, what should it say?
 
My brief comments are that the cv is a bit plain and boring looking, and there are at least 2 words spelt with an American spelling, so maybe you need to change the dictionary in your word processor. I think the grammar is a bit poor in places too, which is particularly bad for the type of job you are applying for. Primarily, you seem to put comma's in, in places that you should in fact be starting a new sentence.

The letter in particular is a bit scrunched up. You should have a blank line in-between each paragraph of the letter. You also need a closing paragraph saying that you enclose your cv for their consideration, and you look forward to hearing from them soon, or that you will call them to discuss the position, and possibly stating your availability for interview.

Lastly, I’m not sure why you have signed the letter two thirds over to the right of the page.

All that said, I am no expert. This is all just my opinion from reading through it briefly.
 
Redrum said:
My brief comments are that the cv is a bit plain and boring looking, and there are at least 2 words spelt with an American spelling, so maybe you need to change the dictionary in your word processor. I think the grammar is a bit poor in places too, which is particularly bad for the type of job you are applying for. Primarily, you seem to put comma's in, in places that you should in fact be starting a new sentence.

The letter in particular is a bit scrunched up. You should have a blank line in-between each paragraph of the letter. You also need a closing paragraph saying that you enclose your cv for their consideration, and you look forward to hearing from them soon, or that you will call them to discuss the position, and possibly stating your availability for interview.

Lastly, I’m not sure why you have signed the letter two thirds over to the right of the page.

All that said, I am no expert. This is all just my opinion from reading through it briefly.
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the letter is in American format and apparently they sign over that side of the page, will put in a closing paragraph though and repost my updates soon.
 
fini said:
Brief comment from me, I'd go letter then CV not the other way round as you have it now.

fini
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yeah I will have it that way, just copied and pasted from another document for ease.

Amleto said:
finished my edits I think
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Cheers Amleto, have taken that in and am updating now, will post back soon.
 
do you think I should put an interests section in?

Like playing the guitar and sports and stuff?

If I put a paragraph like that in I reckon it'll balance it out and I can edit it a bit more?

What do you think, anyone?
 
Sorry for hijacking your thread but I wanted some critique. I'm only looking for a part time job anywhere atm. Didn't think It'd be a good idea to start a new thread.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/8o9r27

Also I've got a job application at the moment and it asks which area you are applying for. I wouldn't mind working in selling or the warehouse and I only want a part time job so would it be a bad idea to tick two boxes?

Also in the hours you can work area and total time I'm not sure What hours I'll be doing when I start my new course in Septemeber but atm I can work anytime so should I just write flexible for now as September is far off and I'll tell them my future plans in the interview if I get one.

I know I missed a comma out after friendly.
 
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