Cancer situation, what would you do?
- Thread starter RoboCod
- Start date
The responses here are so different from person to person; some people are adamant they would go, some are sure they would stay, others unsure. Some people think it is preposterous that I am even considering the idea. Proves we are all different in our minds and reassures to me how difficult this is.
I'm almost sure now that I am at least going to delay my posting until next year. If I do this then the chances of me being sent to America at all are reduced signifcantly though.
I also realise that whichever choice I make it can be translated into a selfish choice i.e. I go, then I am selfish for thinking of myself and my career. If I stay then I am selfish for staying and burdening my mother with the guilt of holding me back from my dream. After all she has an awful disease, so the result is lose/lose whichever way we look at it.
I'm almost sure now that I am at least going to delay my posting until next year. If I do this then the chances of me being sent to America at all are reduced signifcantly though.
I also realise that whichever choice I make it can be translated into a selfish choice i.e. I go, then I am selfish for thinking of myself and my career. If I stay then I am selfish for staying and burdening my mother with the guilt of holding me back from my dream. After all she has an awful disease, so the result is lose/lose whichever way we look at it.
Caporegime
- Joined
- 12 Mar 2009
- Posts
- 26,776
I would actually talk to your dad and siblings rather than your mum as you know she'll just tell you to go to the States. If it was me I'd stay in the UK with her though.
Caporegime
My dad had stage 4 lung cancer which had spread to most of his vital organs and I was lucky enough to have moved up from London back to Scotland before I found this out; this, at least, allowed me to see him and my mum whilst the inevitable happened.
My dad was coherent and lucid to the last few weeks when things went south. We would talk about various things - family, my wife and as-yet unborn child, the weather, football - but he would always, always come back to the fact that I should live my life as best as I possibly could. Not because he was dying but because he wanted the absolute best for me.
Your mum will be the same, I'm sure. Chemo is harsh on the body and she'll need support but you also need to work out how you see the rest of your life panning out.
I don't think anyone can tell you what to do. Whatever you end up deciding to do is the right thing to do.
My dad was coherent and lucid to the last few weeks when things went south. We would talk about various things - family, my wife and as-yet unborn child, the weather, football - but he would always, always come back to the fact that I should live my life as best as I possibly could. Not because he was dying but because he wanted the absolute best for me.
Your mum will be the same, I'm sure. Chemo is harsh on the body and she'll need support but you also need to work out how you see the rest of your life panning out.
I don't think anyone can tell you what to do. Whatever you end up deciding to do is the right thing to do.