Cover letter check

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I'm applying for a training contract at a Chartered accountant practice. Could some kind soul please critique my cover letter. This is my first attempt ever at writing a cover letter. So, it probably needs a lot of improvement.

Thanks :)
 
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tl;dr

"I am writing to apply" to "I wish to apply"

it's a given that you are writing :)

...and do you have a space after the full stops? it looks a bit crammed
 
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Associate
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tl;dr

"I am writing to apply" to "I wish to apply"

it's a given that you are writing :)

Ok, I'll change that , thanks.

...and do you have a space after the full stops? it looks a bit crammed
Yeah it does looked crammed. There are spaces after every full stop. I'm worried the employer will think there's too much to read. They still have to read my CV, which is less than two pages.

How long did it take you to read the letter?
 
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A few comments but basically it looks like a good letter and there is a definite enthusiasm there from my reading of it.

"Mentorship"? Might be better to put mentoring programme?

Do you really want to emphasise how many doors it will open for you? Or at least in that particular way as it could read as if you are itching to go elsewhere before you've even started.

"...shadowed a Chartered Accountant..." - capitalise both or none.

"I look forward to hearing from you".

Really it's all pretty minor changes and feel free to ignore it but that's how I'd change what is there. ACA is pretty decent from what I've heard so good luck with that.
 
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Whilst the content is good, it is very long for a cover letter. Have you considered condensing it but keeping the general feel the same? Your third paragraph is bordering on CV content and, thinking about it, could help you with my previous point. Why not move either part or all of it it from the letter to the CV?

Best of luck :)
 
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Do you really want to emphasise how many doors it will open for you? Or at least in that particular way as it could read as if you are itching to go elsewhere before you've even started.

I didn't write that as an intent to leave after training, but to show how versatile chartered accountancy is. I guess it may sound like I want to move on. Reckon I should write something like,

"Chartered accountancy is a diverse, versatile career which can be applied to many businesses and industries across the world." ?

Have you considered condensing it but keeping the general feel the same?

I feel that all the stuff is relevant, but I would like to simplify it. I just don't want to take anything out of it which may be important. I'll try and condense it.

When I wrote it, I wanted to structure it in three main paragraphs:

Why I'm applying to the company
Why do I want to do the role
What can I bring to the business.

Do you think it's a good idea to move the entire third paragraph and place it on the head of the CV as a summary?

Thanks for the suggestions.
 
Soldato
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That's very long for a covering letter. Many agencies that produce CVs for people nowadays limit the entire CV to a page, as when people get a lot of applications for a job, they don't want to be trawling through reams of paper. Not everyone subscribes to that view, but you get my point. That in itself is a page of virtually solid text.
 
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its is pretty long tbh, alot of fluffy bumpth in there.

also, you mention that it will open doors for you elsewhere? not sure its a good idea to say your planning on leaving before you got the position. I can imagin they will be looking at you as an investment.

sell yourself more, read it from the companies prospective - it looks like its benefiting you more than them if that makes sense, alot of 'its the perfact environment for me'. slip in a few 'i have done this.......' or 'I am super motivated and have completed this....".
 
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Are you disguising their name, or are you not aware of it? It's always better to find the name of the person who's reading it. Failing that, get the name of the head of HR or any senior manager.

2nd paragraph - change the semi colon to a colon and then enter a new pargraph after ...and beyond.

I'd explain why you enjoyed business finance so much. Everything after - subject immensely - can be dropped, it's CV stuff.

You ought to give at least an example of how you are highly motivated/enterprising. This would then allow you to flow onto the next part by saying something like "because of this, I have shown myself to show great self-management and I am able to prioritize my work in an organized fashion in order to excel both in a team and working independently."

The whole point from a cover letter is to show them that you can do what you say, not just to say you can do it. You need to back it up with evidence.
 
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I've removed the "open doors" sentence. I agree that it does sound that I want to head off.

I've moved the entire third paragraph onto the head of the CV, which also contains my experiences, so I wouldn't think it's necessary to include "I did this/that" on my cover letter, since they'll see it on the CV?

In regards to how I'll benefit them, wouldn't my skillset (third para on the original cover letter) suffice?
 
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Are you disguising their name, or are you not aware of it? It's always better to find the name of the person who's reading it. Failing that, get the name of the head of HR or any senior manager.

I'm disguising the name of the company. I'll give the company a ring tomorrow to find out who may be reading it.

Everything after - subject immensely - can be dropped, it's CV stuff.
When I was shadowing the accountant, he said that on my cover letter I should mention how I came to the decision.

You ought to give at least an example of how you are highly motivated/enterprising. This would then allow you to flow onto the next part by saying something like "because of this, I have shown myself to show great self-management and I am able to prioritize my work in an organized fashion in order to excel both in a team and working independently."

The whole point from a cover letter is to show them that you can do what you say, not just to say you can do it. You need to back it up with evidence.
I'll place an example of one of the more significant things I've done in the letter.

My CV was going to be appended onto this letter so they could see what I've done.

Thanks for your input :)
 
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