Cunning people

Mr-White said:
How would one swig of whisky affect his blood alcohol level and he's been hit, surely they would test the other guy. i'm confused :confused:

MW
Click to expand...

Well, the thinking is supposed to be that the police arrive and he changes his story, says I hit him and since I've drank the whisky and he hasn't, I'll get done for it. The joke assumes you will make that jump to a conclusion though, because he refuses the drink and you're forced to think why.
 
The Halk said:
Yeah, it's an old joke. I thought I'd try a little creative writing and see if I could flesh it out realistically.

Anyone who read it from start to finish, did it seem realistic until the punchline?
Click to expand...

Not quite anti-humour if that's what was intended...

E.g.

Three blind mice walk into a bar. Being blind, they are mostly unaware of their surroundings, so it would be unethical to derive humor from their predicament.
 
The Halk said:
Hmm, any tips on how I could have done it better?
Click to expand...

There was no emotion from you as the writer. It was just a story, plainly written without effect until the last couple of words which were drowned out by the dross behind it all.

To make it seem more realistic on the internet, you need more typos. :p

It is difficult to convey emotion using text but you used zero exclamation marks and you need more emotion in the bulk of it all to actually hook the reader.

It's really late, I'm going to stop there.
 
I think that helps... although I can't see me trying this again without annoying people. Some day years in the future I shall call on my improved shaggy dog story talents.
 
Doohickey said:
It reads like it should be a reconstruction on Crimewatch or something. With an ending that results in a :|
Click to expand...

Well, a good shaggy dog story shouldn't produce the same result as a good joke.. I think it should come with the same result as a really bad pun.

I take the point about making it more emotional though.
 
I thought you'd either had an actual car crash and you'd met a sly bloke, or this was a spinoff off that transvestite thread that got locked a little while ago.
 
PGdude said:
I thought you'd either had an actual car crash and you'd met a sly bloke, or this was a spinoff off that transvestite thread that got locked a little while ago.
Click to expand...

Yeah, a spinoff. When that thread was first created I was going to stick it in the thread, but it went completely different and I didn't get a chance until it was locked. I thought it might get a laugh if I managed to get people to believe it was serious until the punchline.

But the problem is people either see through it from the start, or they get to the end and don't understand the joke. :/
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom