Do you charge your adult children who still live at home?

[The_Abyss]

I paid my parents rent / housekeeping once I started work, and I stayed both at home and in London with my Dad at a flat provided for him by his employers. When I said I was moving out to buy my first home they were brilliant - they'd saved it all up and gave it back to me, some two years worth. A life lesson and gesture that I'll never forget.

 

[Mark1989]

Ok so current issue is my 20 year old step daughter now works full time and my wife and i decided it would be sensible to ask her help with the costs. My plan was 20% of her wage but only after she clears £400 a month up to £1000. That way we would never ask for more than £50 per week and she keeps 80%. Or if she gets a pay rise to £1200 a month she would pay £200 and keep £1000. So, Council tax, water gas elec, sky tv etc. This has caused massive arguments all week. She would like to pay £20 - £30 per week saying she is never here always out etc and would actually like it to be totally flexible so if she spends a week with her boyfriend she will pay nothing. To be fair she is only home 3 nights and maybe a day and half a week.

Reality is bills do not get put on pause because you stay away from home.

So just wondering do any of you on the wonderful OcUK forum charge your adult children (who work full time) for living at home? And if so what amount do you deem fair?

Apparently her friends pay from £10 per month to £125 max. But most pay £20 a week. My daughter would like to pay "just" for what she uses, but I have no way of charging per week for boiling the kettle, taking a bath, having the TV on in her room every second she is here etc.

Anyone got experience of this?

When I lived at home I had to pay 200 quid a month and cover sky and buy one lot of shopping so I think what your asking is more than fare

 

[johnny6]

I used to pay £200 a month plus covered the monthly Sky/broadband bill (mostly because I didn't just want the minimum package). My parents actually only asked for £100 but I felt that wasn't enough given the fact they paid for all the food and my mum insisted on doing all the washing and ironing, plus I'd regularly come home from work to dinner on the table.

Did my parents need the money????? Not at all.

Now living in my own house with the wife and kid paying £1000 a month mortgage plus ALL the other bills. So £200 is nothing.

Also you're 'renting' access to the space, whether you use it or not is by the by. I paid my parents regardless of whether I was there or not. That's the way the world works. I can't get a discount on my mortgage if I go on holiday for 2 weeks.

 

[Sone]

I used to always pay 25% of my wages when at home. One a salary at 16 was a good deal but when I left was cheaper get a morgage.

PS. My mum doesn't earn a lot so was happy to help. Still send her 7% of my salary even though been gone for years

 

[Logsi]

If it was me, I would make her pay £50 a week, and put £40 of it aside for a deposit for her so she can buy a house sooner She learns she has to pay, and you help her get on her own two feet sooner.

This.

 

[Mucky_Pup]

I'd like to think that when I have kids old enough, any money I charge them I would like to save and use to help them out, if I can afford it.

On the flip side I don't want to be like someone I know who pays for his kids (my age) weekly food shopping still (among other things), even though they don't live at home anymore. As I think he's just babying them, and being detrimental to his own health and wellbeing.

 

[Gavin]

quite simple. your house your rules.

Sorry to say but if she doesnt think £50 is fair and is arguing about it then shes got no respect for you.

Thats more than fair.

 

[wez130]

I paid £35 a week back in 1995 when i earned £3 an hour. I took home about £120 / week back then, i moved out pretty quickly though, been independent since i was 18. As has been mentioned umpteen times, if £30 -£50 is too much for her, telll her to go and find cheaper. She needs to learn that this is life! Things don't get put on hold just because she's not there.

I have to admit though, what someone posted on a previous page was an excellent idea, the money that she pays, save for her and it'll be an added bonus for when she wants to buy her own place, and believe me, she will thank you for it.

 

[Gavin]

oh and i paid £50 a week back when i only earnt £20 a day.... worked saturdays as well so nearly half of my wages.........

 

[j_walsh]

Was paying £200 at the age of 21 (11 years ago). My G/f stayed over for 2 nights a week so i was asked to contribute another £50 (a month). Meals were made but i did buy my own food the majority of the time

Have 2 kids but along way off of paying rent. I think 20 % is a reasonable amount. (Would put the rent to one side and give it to them when they move out tho)

 

[Jamesyboyjim]

Me and my missus moved in with my parents so we could clear our debts and start to put a deposit together. We pay 200 a month and half the Virgin bill (I'm the main user of the internet and we have a box upstairs) We'll have dinner with them once a week but other than that we pay for our own food.

We'll also contribute with things like extra milk (doesn't make sense to have two bottles in the fridge as we all use skimmed) washing powder, kitchen and bog roll (things we all use, even though they'd never ask for us to buy that kind of thing).

Basically we don't want to take the mick or strain things with them, even after all this, its a massive bargain as anywhere else would cost us 100's more a month! They are doing us the favour, I think its easy to forget that and lots of adults still living at home do.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

I used to pay my mum £200 a month that was right from when I first started working until 2 years ago when I finally bought my own place (and my salary had pretty much doubled she never asked for more). Had a couple months off paying when I went and did a bit of travelling and the last few months of living there to help me get as much money together for the house purchase.

I used to hate it at first but having lived on my own for stints etc you get a better sense of what things costs and £200 really is nothing in the grand scheme especially when I there was always food in the cupboards, fridge and on the table (and she used to make tea for my girlfriend some days of the week) and I used to have all my clothes washed and ironed everyweek!!!

 

[edwarhys]

When i lived at home earning about £1000 i was paying £120 a month.

when i was earning £600 - £800 i was paying £80.

I've recently moved out and got a place with my other half and the bills are like a smack in the face.

Wish my parents educated me about the costs of running a house instead of just saying it's expensive to run a house.

 

[MikeTheNative]

When i lived at home earning about £1000 i was paying £120 a month.

when i was earning £600 - £800 i was paying £80.

I've recently moved out and got a place with my other half and the bills are like a smack in the face.

Wish my parents educated me about the costs of running a house instead of just saying it's expensive to run a house.

About what I was paying, parents asked for less but I felt bad paying £50 a month what they asked, I also payed the extra for fibre broadband as I wanted it. I don't think working children should live for free but I know a few people who get fleeced by their parents. One guy from work was giving his parents £500 a month! He only made £1000 odd a month.

 

[jonneymendoza]

Could just ask her to do the groceries for the whole family? thats a big help and contribution i reckon

 

[GizF1]

When I got my first job in 95 first thing mum did was take me to HSBC (well midland as it was then) open up a bank account for my wages and set up a standing order to her account for £200

It went up to £300 when I started getting adult wage and £400 when I got full time work

Im glad she did it and I'd happily pay only that much now!

Giz

 

[A.N.Other]

I disappeared before the question ever arose, but my partner's parents enforced a 1/3 as 'rent', 1/3 enforced savings, 1/3 spending money system. It sounds a bit draconian, but it helped them all save for house deposits ...

 

[edwarhys]

About what I was paying, parents asked for less but I felt bad paying £50 a month what they asked, I also payed the extra for fibre broadband as I wanted it. I don't think working children should live for free but I know a few people who get fleeced by their parents. One guy from work was giving his parents £500 a month! He only made £1000 odd a month.

you just reminded me i also paid the broadband as i was the main user.

If i was paying £500 i wouldn't of been able to afford driving lessons or my first car, well it might of taken a lot longer anyways.

I worked during school/college from the age of 14 just at weekends though unless it was a holiday. Had to pay for my mobile phone and xbox games

 

[edwarhys]

Long time till i start charging my daughter as she is only 4 weeks old.

But i will defiantly expect money towards bills when she is working.

Struggling myself at the moment so i understand by parents ask for help with bills

 

[darknite]

Wow who woke this thread up?

As I started it a while back I will update. After much argument my step daughter now pays £150 max (her choice). She now stays at home at lot more too compared to when this all kicked off. However on her days off she now does nothing in the house apart from clean her own room. Which is fine, but loading and emptying the dishwasher does not seem like a major ask.

What concerns me is in my original plan (£50 a week once she cleared a £1000 a month after tax) I told her not to pay in December and her birthday month (extra present) even though she has reduced how much she is willing to pay and does less at home I think she will want to keep the bonus bit of paying nothing in December.

I've asked every parent I know what they do and it seems £120 - £130 a month from the moment they leave education and start work. Even some who work as apprentices on £400 a month still get charged £120.

I have 100's of replies in forums and in real life. The normal is £120 from the day they start work regardless of job.

I feel my system of a % so she could pay less when she started work seem's fairer.

But hey ho kind of sorted now and nice not have any argument, and to be honest I don't care anymore. A whole month of arguing/screaming does that I guess....