Do you charge your children "keep" or rent? Do/did you pay it yourself?

Sirrel Squirrel said:
How'd you enforce it? My son is an apprentice now and I've said he can pay £50 a week or alternatively help around the house, doing washing up, laundry, walking the dog etc. He does neither!
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My one daughter is 12 and does those types of jobs.. sheer lack of respect from a young adult if they're simply not willing to do something to help out their parent that has raised them for X amount of years.
 
Moley said:
My father-in-law did the same with my Mrs when she was young - except he put all her housekeeping in a building society account (without her knowledge) and then gifted it to her when we bought our house together.
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This is what i plan to do when my daughter gets her first job. Charge her rent and put it in to a LISA or equivalent to springboard her when shes ready to get her own place.
 
bayo000 said:
I used to pay approx a third of my income, even when I was unemployed right after school, when I lived with my parents. To be honest I got most of it back when I moved out as they helped me fair bit
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That is the fair and logical thing to do, you don't need the money as a parent, but it teaches your kids an important lesson. Things cost money, and by all means take a nominal amount, but just stash it aside so when they eventually move out, you can give it back as a significant boost.
 
Demon said:
I mean if she wasn't flittering her money away and banking some of it, then surely between school age and 36 she should have plenty of savings and not require another rent free savings session? i.e. this isn't a glowing example of someone that has a stellar financially responsible history..
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She got married and got shafted a bit.
She has put £100K down on a house so yes she didn't flitter it away.
Next.


Mrs says she's put £120K down and having a 50K mortgage.
 
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I paid 25% of what I earnt after I had finished full time education.
When my parents moved out into another house, I didn't give them rent (the house was owned outright) but I paid all of the bills for the upkeep of said house.

I don't think its unreasonable at all, if you are earning, to contribute to the household you live in.

I'm 47 though, so maybe its a generational thing, my step son (21) lives with us, does nothing about the house, works 5/6 days a month with his dad (bodyshop/refinisher type stuff) and earns enough to go out with his mates every night and get stoned, go on holiday a couple of times a year with his mates or girlfriend, has a gym membership, pays for his XBox membership thing, has all sorts of gym related shake stuff, eats loads (he's bulking apparently) and we struggle to get £50 a month out of him...
His girlfriend also lives with us, she was running her business out of our livingroom for about 8 months when she moved in as she was saving up to rent a salon or something, she 'doesnt see why she should pay board'...
I'm astounded by the shear entitlement of being able to live in someone else's house because your parents are going through a messy divorce, running a business from their livingroom (eyelash ****), wasting loads of food (shes a fussy eater, will say she likes something, will go and sit in their bedroom to eat it, but then not eat it and it'll go in the bin) and not be able to see why you should at least contribute...
 
Zefan said:
I never stayed with my parents outside of education apart from when I was waiting to join the military, which was a matter of a few weeks. I think, as a parent, I would ask sons to pay their way but not daughters.
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Why not a daughter?
Would you raise her to believe that she should be supported by a man rather than teaching her to be an equal to anyone she chooses to live with?
 
Slam said:
no, he's just fifteen so anything he pays basically comes from me :)
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When I was fifteen I'd already had a few jobs. One was a petrol station attendant, wiping down windscreens for tips. Another one was stacking shelves at a seven-eleven (yes, we had those back then) for their out of date crisps / snacks.

Oh and at school I used to sell everything I could get my hands on. I would literally sell used erasers to other kids for 50 cents. It was ace :D
 
Trig said:
I paid 25% of what I earnt after I had finished full time education.
When my parents moved out into another house, I didn't give them rent (the house was owned outright) but I paid all of the bills for the upkeep of said house.

I don't think its unreasonable at all, if you are earning, to contribute to the household you live in.

I'm 47 though, so maybe its a generational thing, my step son (21) lives with us, does nothing about the house, works 5/6 days a month with his dad (bodyshop/refinisher type stuff) and earns enough to go out with his mates every night and get stoned, go on holiday a couple of times a year with his mates or girlfriend, has a gym membership, pays for his XBox membership thing, has all sorts of gym related shake stuff, eats loads (he's bulking apparently) and we struggle to get £50 a month out of him...
His girlfriend also lives with us, she was running her business out of our livingroom for about 8 months when she moved in as she was saving up to rent a salon or something, she 'doesnt see why she should pay board'...
I'm astounded by the shear entitlement of being able to live in someone else's house because your parents are going through a messy divorce, running a business from their livingroom (eyelash ****), wasting loads of food (shes a fussy eater, will say she likes something, will go and sit in their bedroom to eat it, but then not eat it and it'll go in the bin) and not be able to see why you should at least contribute...
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I would have had a serious word with the wife by now before one of their mates move in for free or you become a step grandfather and have to pay for the nappies.

I think I'm easy going but that is just taking the ****.
 
slinxy said:
I would have had a serious word with the wife by now before one of their mates move in for free or you become a step grandfather and have to pay for the nappies.

I think I'm easy going but that is just taking the ****.
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Indeed, the original discussion was she stayed with us for a few months until her parents sold the house, I said given the state of the housing market it would probably take longer than that, so call it a year tops, which I think was perfectly reasonable.
The agreement was £50 each per month, paid into the bills account, and no more than a year, the end of that year was the start of February, I started saying we needed to discuss what was happening mid-December as her parents hadn't sold the house and her mother had actually moved back into the marital home (she moved out to live with her mother, with her other daughter, the one that's with us is the 'accident' child, gets nothing from the parents where the older daughter got to live with mummy still and got bought a brand new car) as she was still paying the bills but he wasn't paying the mortgage, it was suggested by her solicitor that she moved back into the house given she was paying bills. Despite there being an 'agreement' in place I think I got 2 months worth out of them...

I am getting to the point where I'll either give them £1500 as a deposit so they can move out, or I'll use it and move out myself...
 
Trig said:
Indeed, the original discussion was she stayed with us for a few months until her parents sold the house, I said given the state of the housing market it would probably take longer than that, so call it a year tops, which I think was perfectly reasonable.
The agreement was £50 each per month, paid into the bills account, and no more than a year, the end of that year was the start of February, I started saying we needed to discuss what was happening mid-December as her parents hadn't sold the house and her mother had actually moved back into the marital home (she moved out to live with her mother, with her other daughter, the one that's with us is the 'accident' child, gets nothing from the parents where the older daughter got to live with mummy still and got bought a brand new car) as she was still paying the bills but he wasn't paying the mortgage, it was suggested by her solicitor that she moved back into the house given she was paying bills. Despite there being an 'agreement' in place I think I got 2 months worth out of them...

I am getting to the point where I'll either give them £1500 as a deposit so they can move out, or I'll use it and move out myself...
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I wouldn't give them any money just make it harder for them to live in your house so they would move out
 
Slam62 said:
Mine are adults and live in my house rent free, society has screwed their generation over with the cost of housing and low wages, so they can do what they like as far as I’m concerned, it’s not as if I need the money.
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Your perogative. You do what you feel is right
 
Trig said:
Indeed, the original discussion was she stayed with us for a few months until her parents sold the house, I said given the state of the housing market it would probably take longer than that, so call it a year tops, which I think was perfectly reasonable.
The agreement was £50 each per month, paid into the bills account, and no more than a year, the end of that year was the start of February, I started saying we needed to discuss what was happening mid-December as her parents hadn't sold the house and her mother had actually moved back into the marital home (she moved out to live with her mother, with her other daughter, the one that's with us is the 'accident' child, gets nothing from the parents where the older daughter got to live with mummy still and got bought a brand new car) as she was still paying the bills but he wasn't paying the mortgage, it was suggested by her solicitor that she moved back into the house given she was paying bills. Despite there being an 'agreement' in place I think I got 2 months worth out of them...

I am getting to the point where I'll either give them £1500 as a deposit so they can move out, or I'll use it and move out myself...
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it's a shame Jeremy Kyle isn't around any more..

It's time to be hard... Regardless of what drama the girl is facing, she's not your responsibly and if your son what's it to be his responsibility then he needs to pay for it.

I say son... as you kinda accepted to put up with his BS when you sacked up with his mum.. unless was an adult already at the time you got together.

We don't have many "step" relationships in my family, apart from one of my neices who has a step dad but he got with my sister when she was a young baby so he's always treated her as one of his own, offered and adopted her when he decided she was old enough to make the choice.

Reading some of the comments here, there's a few step parents beef and people moving out at a young age... I guess this is the other said of the story.

Really I don't know how I would treat a step child, no one I've been with has ever had a child as I only dated when I was younger.. some of them wouldn't even trust me to feed their pets let alone look after a child if they have one. Even now if I meet someone with kids that needs looking after, I don't know how I would feel.
 
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