Added some replies below, I can accept your points tbh it's just not the way for me (at the moment!)
Like we already agreed, whatever works for you, but I'll respond a few more times just for clarity.
I'm a tad older....
Same here, though in fairness she's only 3 years younger than me and in the last circa 4 years my wages have went up in the region of 80%, if she follows even closely to that or exceeds it everything will balance out in the end
My undertone is we both basically earn what we deserve to earn, more or less. The world isn't perfect in this sense, but gulf between us is big enough that you cannot attribute it to anything other than the fact that she sat on her backside watching jezza when I went out and tried to make something of myself.
Therefore, its completely fair that I earn more than her, and she doesn't really have a right to complain about it, nor does she. That only established that I shouldn't share all my money, where I disagree on your % point is, as I've said, is because they're bills based on consumption, and the only percentage you can really attribute to it would be 50%.
However, its about more than that. As I previously said, I work to live and I'd rather get paid less and enjoy myself than pull in big bucks with an attempt at balacing out or winning on how much we pay. In reality I don't care about money all that much, its more about freedom and the fact its uncomplicated.
Basically, we both need to do the bare minimum. Anything beyond that is a bonus for yourself, and therefore you choose to do that based on your desire. I could, in theory, choose to work one day a week and earn enough to pay my share, would you then argue that I'm a) not pulling my weight, or b) should pay less because I have less spending money?
I don't pay my bills as a percentage of my income...
I take your point, but inevitably when your income goes up your bills increase too (not proportionally) through silly things like buying more at the shops each week to choices like buying a better car, moving to a bigger house bringing a mortgage and council tax increase etc etc. If you live together surely you make these kind of choices together and your overall standard of living is set by what you can afford jointly rather than what your partner can neccesarily afford. We could (just) live on a single wage - if reduced to that permanently though there is no way I'd choose to have / pay for the things I do at the moment.
Whilst I take your point, its because people spend more money on crap when they have more money. I know I certainly do. However, given that our budget is dictated based on how much we both put into the shared account, thus if she isn't willing or able to put in more, there is no budget creep.
Now if I wanted to spend my money on a fancy car, thats my problem, and I'll pay for that. We don't really share cars; thats difficult for most of the country considering the state of public transport, and even then few who can afford it would want to. Basically, you need to actually think about what is a 50/50 bill, because that example is a bit out of wack.
Regarding the mortgage and associated bills, I pay them on my own as she couldn't afford them and I'd bought this house when we were just together a year. You're right in the sense that if we buy a bigger house together, she'd need to pay more, but I'm not going to make such a decision alone, and we're not going to do that until she is in a position to agree to that.
50% of marriges end in divorce .....
There is a balance to be sought here - it's not all about who pays for what throughout a relationship, but by the same token I wouldn't and don't have all of my cash piled into one big shared account.
Don't take me the wrong way, I don't worry about such things on a daily basis. I just like to live my life by the rule that if I can't explain it to myself, it doesn't make sense.
I cannot for the life of me explain why I should pay more than her, neither could see, so I don't. I'm happy to wait for her to be finished Uni and start earning before we move on to bigger and better, so its really no big deal.
If and when she starts earning more than me, she might resent keeping me. Why cut off my *****?
She might, she might not - that's the chance you take
Its a chance I don't need to take.
Theres some stats that suggest the majority of arguments stem from money and theres a lot of things I completely avoid because I do not criticise her spending, and I do not allow anyone to criticise mine.
Either way, my point is when she decides she doesn't want to climb the ladder anymore in life, it doesn't affect me and I can't complain. If I decide I'd like a sabbatical, it doesn't affect her and she can't complain. As long as we can cover that payment, we've both met our obligations, and neither party has anything to complain about ever. It goes both ways and it just works.