Duties of a wife

Permabanned
Joined
10 Apr 2004
Posts
13,122
Location
Darlington, County Durham
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmy had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a British girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a gardener.
 
Not even a snigger :( maybe its abit late for jokes for me. Although it sounds about right tho :)
 
Your wife Made you post that didn't she for some kind of over stepping the mark punishment. Either that or she was going to knock you about. :p
 
HOSKER.jpg


Abit more funny?
 
A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my
gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a
dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a
batch of medals."

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap."
 
Davey_Pitch said:
You see that bit at the very left of the pic? That's a door you're standing behind. On your own.


Ah thats ok then, as long as i'm there on me tod i'm happy, means i get to be alone with the voices :/
 
basmic said:
The third man had married a British girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a gardener.

husband battery - aka domestic violence :eek:

Useful links to pass onto the guy...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/domestic_violence/menhh_index.shtml

http://www.mankind.org.uk said:
If you are a man suffering from domestic abuse and require a safe place to stay, please ring; 01643 863352 and we will arrange for a referral to a refuge in either the South-West, West Midlands or the North-West.

http://www.victimsupport.org/


:o :p
 
Back
Top Bottom