Ex-partner is wanting to sell the house.

[Droolinggimp]

NOTE: I will be consulting a solicitor over this matter. I just wanted to get the thoughts from some of you on here before I go down the that route.

NOTE 2: The ex an I are on good terms and have been since splitting up many years ago


For the last 10-12 years I have been living in the house, myself and my ex purchased with a mortgage. We are both still on the mortgage. It has been mortgaged for a few years longer than the time I haved lived her without her. I think 15 years in total.

I am currently married with 2 children (4 and 1) and we are in no way ready to move/sell financially as my wife is at college and fingers crossed going to Uni later this year and I am just on a little over minimum wage as a chef.

Money wise, times are tough for us as a family. We are 'ok' but we don't have enough to save every month.

Anyway.

During the time I have lived her without the ex I have paid the mortgage fully. I did fall into bad times where money was an issue and the mortgage and other bills suffered as a result. Things got better and bills are paid on time now. She helped out for a couple of months to pay the mortgage during my bad times but said she will have it out of my share of equity once we sell it in the future. I din't actually agree to this but she will still think she will get a cut of my share of equity coming my way.

Going by house prices around my here, not had it valued yet, its probably a 2k over the mortgage value so not a great deal of equity if any at all. That would probably be lost due to haggling down as you do when selling/buying a house.

She messaged me the other day saying we need to talk about selling the house as she needs the money from it to put towards a mortgage of her own. I think she thinks it's will be valued a fair bit over the mortgage value as it stands. I know it won't.

First up I know she can't sell with my permission unless it goes through the courts and even then they would deny the sale due to my wife and children. I have the right to occupy and so does my wife.

I am thinking this may turn nasty at some point as aI know what she is like, or can get like.

Regarding the actual mortgage payments, is there anyway I can claim more of the sale if equity is big enough due to me paying for the last 10 or so years or would it just be 50/50. Could a court rule in my favour due to her being in a very well paid job and myself not so and for me and my family to sell and move on would require a good amount of money for deposits/rent/etc and as our current financial situation is not very good?

What say you GD? *puts on flame proof jacket as I can imagine some of the replies*

 

[Rids]

Ooof.

Legal advice as you've suggested - this one could get expensive as I don't see a way this settles without going to court.

From an equity point of view, surely it would be settled proportionally based on the value of contributions to settling the mortgage (assuming this can be substantiated) as opposed to a flat 50/50?

 

[Mason-]

Going by house prices around my here, not had it valued yet, its probably a 2k over the mortgage value so not a great deal of equity if any at all. That would probably be lost due to haggling down as you do when selling/buying a house.

Surely this means if you sell the house and pay off the mortgage that there will actually be no money left to divide amongst yourselves anyway?

 

[Droolinggimp]

The thing is she would be stupid to take it to court as I have children (I did a bit of research on children in house selling, whether or not they are hers or not) and she cannot force a sale. Simple as that. She suggested that I come off the mortgage, which again will benefit my as then we can move at our own pace as, again, she cannot force a sale or kick up out as tennents.

 

[Droolinggimp]

Surely this means if you sell the house and pay off the mortgage that there will actually be no money left to divide amongst yourselves anyway?

yeah pretty much. She thinks there is a quite a bit to be made. I know different. I have told her in the past but I assume she thinks I am trying to pull wool over her eyes to hide the fact.

 

[Martynt74]

How after 10-12 years of living in the house paying the mortgage do you have no equity in it?

Surely at an average term of 25 yrs you should have around 50% equity even if the house hadn't appreciated in value which i'd have expected it would.

Unless you're on an interest only mortgage?

 

[Rids]

How after 10-12 years of living in the house with the mortgage do you have no equity in it?

I'm assuming interest only mortgage? Cases like this really do highlight why these are a fantastically bad idea if no capital repayment strategy exists.

OP, you also have to look at this from your ex's point of view, she currently has a massive financial encumbrance she is getting absolutely no benefit from.

 

[CREATIVE!11]

So basically you've paid a whole lot more.

How much did she put into the mortgage exactly when you were together? and how much have you dropped in?

 

[Droolinggimp]

How after 10-12 years of living in the house paying the mortgage do you have no equity in it?

Surely at an average term of 25 yrs you should have around 50% equity even if the house hadn't appreciated in value which i'd have expected it would.

This is where it gets complicated. Sort of.

We originally got a mortgage with Northern Rock. They ****** everyone. It was a repayment mortgage (cap and int) at first but once they did what they did the % went up and I couldn't remortgage with anyone as I didnt have a deposit. So i was stuck with them (now Nram) paying interest only. Yep it's a **** way to do it but I cannot afford the repayment mortgage on my wages at the time and certainly not now.

 

[Hades]

Tricky situation and far too many factors for us to give any meaningful advice. But her wanting to sell may not just be about getting money out of the house. She may need to sell it to allow her to get her own mortgage; having a current mortgage will likely stop her getting a new one.

Good luck.

EDIT: As you've been paying an interest only mortgage I doubt there is much claim on your side for owning more of the property. Effectively you've been renting the house with your ex as a guarantor.

 

[Housey]

Based on what I am reading here as I have nothing else to go on, she seems to have been accommodating and helpful since you split. She also bailed you out when you hit hard times, money from what I read you have not paid back and suggested come sale time she would seek repayment from the equity, which seems eminently fair. I am assuming she has no responsibility for the children you mentioned (they are not hers?) and now, after 10-12 years she is seeking to move on with her life, move away from a liability/investment that is offering her little and is looking for your support. Your current work situation, that of your wife and your children are of little concern to her and she has up to this point been very fair and gone above and beyond to help and support you.

You are now seeking to take advantage of that goodwill to ensure you are not removed from your house because it does not suit your situation and circumstances and it would seem have over leveraged your house (drawn down from the mortgage I am assuming, but will stand corrected) and so in the 10-12 years your house value has not increased. Looking at it purely black and white she is doing nothing wrong and you should perhaps work out how you might buy her share or accomodate he with a plan to sell at some point fixed in time.

Just noted your point on it being interest only. So for a period of time she has actually been paying for you to live in a house for zero benefit. She seems like a good person to me, I think she has every right to move on with her life now IMHO and you would be best placed to help her do that.

My 2p

Too further add if she is not paying the mortgage payments, which I may have got completely wrong here that changes it somewhat, but I still think she is within her rights to exit.

 

[Droolinggimp]

So basically you've paid a whole lot more.

How much did she put into the mortgage exactly when you were together? and how much have you dropped in?

We jointly paid for a few years so we went 50/50 on mortgage payments whilst we were together over 4 years and the payment then were about 450 per month. we both paid £10800 each. Since on my own I paid 10-12 years (i cant remember the exact time frame) say 10 years, 8 of those iirc were when NR went balls up so I paid on average of 550 per month over 10-12

 

[thegreysquirrel]

Based on what I am reading here as I have nothing else to go on, she seems to have been accommodating and helpful since you split. She also bailed you out when you hit hard times, money from what I read you have not paid back and suggested come sale time she would seek repayment from the equity, which seems eminently fair. I am assuming she has no responsibility for the children you mentioned (they are not hers?) and now, after 10-12 years she is seeking to move on with her life, move away from a liability/investment that is offering her little and is looking for your support. Your current work situation, that of your wife and your children are of little concern to her and she has up to this point been very fair and gone above and beyond to help and support you.

You are now seeking to take advantage of that goodwill to ensure you are not removed from your house because it does not suit your situation and circumstances and it would seem have over leveraged your house (drawn down from the mortgage I am assuming, but will stand corrected) and so in the 10-12 years your house value has not increased. Looking at it purely black and white she is doing nothing wrong and you should perhaps work out how you might buy her share or accomodate he with a plan to sell at some point fixed in time.

Just noted your point on it being interest only.

Exactly. You're also not bulletproof just because you don't have a lot of money but do have kids.

Whether there's money to be made from a sale or not, she has a right to take this further if her name is on the mortgage, though the level of ownership could now be argued as you have paid far more into it (even if not paying it off). Though this could get quite costly from legal fees.

 

[cheesyboy]

What was the equity in the house, approximately, when you separated? Half of that is her share, plus or minus any cash changing hands in the intervening years.

 

[Droolinggimp]

Based on what I am reading here as I have nothing else to go on, she seems to have been accommodating and helpful since you split. She also bailed you out when you hit hard times, money from what I read you have not paid back and suggested come sale time she would seek repayment from the equity, which seems eminently fair. I am assuming she has no responsibility for the children you mentioned (they are not hers?) and now, after 10-12 years she is seeking to move on with her life, move away from a liability/investment that is offering her little and is looking for your support. Your current work situation, that of your wife and your children are of little concern to her and she has up to this point been very fair and gone above and beyond to help and support you.

You are now seeking to take advantage of that goodwill to ensure you are not removed from your house because it does not suit your situation and circumstances and it would seem have over leveraged your house (drawn down from the mortgage I am assuming, but will stand corrected) and so in the 10-12 years your house value has not increased. Looking at it purely black and white she is doing nothing wrong and you should perhaps work out how you might buy her share or accomodate he with a plan to sell at some point fixed in time.

Just noted your point on it being interest only. So for a period of time she has actually been paying for you to live in a house for zero benefit. She seems like a good person to me, I think she has every right to move on with her life now IMHO and you would be best placed to help her do that.

My 2p

I see what youre saying dont get me wrong but I have asked many time to be taken of the mortgage so I/we can move on. the answer is no as she wanted to sell when prices went up. Never really happened round here. We have had it valued a few times durin our discussions over selling it in the past and she said it needs this doping to it or that, basically I have to do all the improvements to help sell it. At first she contributed to the costs but thats topped after a few times. I was ina better financial situation when selling was discussed previously but the answer was always a no due to some other reason other than waiting for prices to rise. Now I can't afford to sell she wants to sell. Is it right for me to give in and do what she wants? She didn't. thats not me being spiteful thats me genuinely not being able to afford to sell.

 

[Hades]

Based on what I am reading here as I have nothing else to go on, she seems to have been accommodating and helpful since you split. She also bailed you out when you hit hard times, money from what I read you have not paid back and suggested come sale time she would seek repayment from the equity, which seems eminently fair. I am assuming she has no responsibility for the children you mentioned (they are not hers?) and now, after 10-12 years she is seeking to move on with her life, move away from a liability/investment that is offering her little and is looking for your support. Your current work situation, that of your wife and your children are of little concern to her and she has up to this point been very fair and gone above and beyond to help and support you.

You are now seeking to take advantage of that goodwill to ensure you are not removed from your house because it does not suit your situation and circumstances and it would seem have over leveraged your house (drawn down from the mortgage I am assuming, but will stand corrected) and so in the 10-12 years your house value has not increased. Looking at it purely black and white she is doing nothing wrong and you should perhaps work out how you might buy her share or accomodate he with a plan to sell at some point fixed in time.

Just noted your point on it being interest only. So for a period of time she has actually been paying for you to live in a house for zero benefit. She seems like a good person to me, I think she has every right to move on with her life now IMHO and you would be best placed to help her do that.

My 2p

Too further add if she is not paying the mortgage payments, which I may have got completely wrong here that changes it somewhat, but I still think she is within her rights to exit.

Pretty much spot on.

 

[Housey]

Just reading it I may have misread the OP. I read it as you were still 50/50 on the monthly payments, but that seems not to be the case? You pay it fully arch month (100% the monthly mortgage) and she helped to pay it when you were unable to do so for a period of time.

Is that correct?

 

[Droolinggimp]

What was the equity in the house, approximately, when you separated? That's her share, plus or minus any cash changing hands in the intervening years.

Negative. We had it valued a few weeks after we split up.

 

[Droolinggimp]

Just reading it I may have misread the OP. I read it as you were still 50/50 but that seems not to be the case, you pay it fully, she helped to pay it when you were unable.

Is that correct?

I pay fully for last 10-12 years and she helped towards 2 payments during that time..

 

[cheesyboy]

Negative. We had it valued a few weeks after we split up.

Then, really, she is owed nothing. Would be helpful if you have the paperwork from that valuation, plus for the mortgage account at that time.