Fastest way to get a new license?

[_PD_]

Ok, to cut a long story short... my license has been stolen, and I have to drive a hire car in Germany on the 15th June and then for 2 weeks after that.
A new license takes longer than this to arrive (15 days ish), so what can I do?

I still have the paper part, and an FMT600 (military driving license) but could really do with a new photocard ASAP.

DVLA website just leads me to directgov, which tells me to pay £22, send off a form, and wait...

 

[_PD_]

That's a VERY long way (I'm in Newcastle...)

Maybe if I whack it in the post, follow it up with a phonecall, and cross my fingers?

Do you think my paper part will be OK to hire a car on its' own?

Would be sharing the car with another guy who has both parts of his license.