Financial Dilemma

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We currently rent a flat which we desperately need to get out of for various reasons, with the lease up in March.

About the time we decided that we would move out of this place my GF was told she had some shares in a family members company, would she like to sell them for about £20-25K.

This seemed like the perfect solution to our problems because it provided enough money for a deposit on a house, so we began to make plans based around that. Sadly a few months down the line the deal appears to have fallen through, after getting our hopes up this has really hit us hard.

At this point the GFs dad steps in and has offered to lend us £25K, which initially sounds like a really good offer. My problem is I really don't like the idea of borrowing it from him - I can't see how we can afford to pay the mortgage and pay this debt back. This has caused a bit of friction with the GF because she wants to take the money.

Would you take it?
 
No. Come on, how much of a controlling factor is that for her old man to have over you?

Anyway, what happened with the shares?
 
If the relationship between gf and her dad has always been amicable, then yes I would take it.

Think of it as a bank low at an incredibly low rate :)
 
If the relationship between gf and her dad has always been amicable, then yes I would take it.

Think of it as a bank low at an incredibly low rate :)

Or think about it as a bank loan that you are definitely going to default on, without the penalties :cool:

I know what OP means, I'd not want a penny of anyone else's money, let alone the in-laws
 
No. Come on, how much of a controlling factor is that for her old man to have over you?

Anyway, what happened with the shares?

We don't know, she didn't even know she had any - Her dad also had some and he has no idea what is going on with it either.
 
It'd depend on the terms of the loan, not wanting to sound callous but supposing in the future you were to be separated from your gf, however unlikely that may seem at the moment, what would happen regarding the loan, would he be expecting your half of the cash back or is it purely a loan between father and daughter?

If you've done the sums and think that you can't afford to pay the mortgage and the dad then you've kinda answered your own question, unless the terms of the loan can be adjusted to suit.

My opinion would be, don't let the fact that you've got to move out of your current flat soon rush you into a purchase. If necessary, rent somewhere else in the short term while you sort out finances. The opportunity to buy will never go away (assuming the dad's financial circumstances don't change, but if they do to an extent that he can't lend the £25k anymore, there'd be a big bone of contention had you taken the loan in the first place anyway i.e. he may need some of his cash back!), but if you rush into buying it is much much more difficult to back out of.
 
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Go for it Elim. He's doing it because he wants his daughter to be happy and is prepared to trust you with a lot of money, and essentially his daughter's long-term well being. You should take it as a compliment and be gracious in your acceptance.
 
Loans from immediate family have few downsides imo. I borrowed £10k from my mother and step father as deposit for my house. My other half has no worries about this as without it we could not have afforded to get our own place. We have every intention of paying it back but they are not in a hurry for it so if it makes our life easier then I can swallow my pride and take the money.
 
Its win win surely. Your girlfriend is probably thinking you don't want to be with her for long because you don't want the money.

Remember, women always add 2+2 and get 20!
 
We currently rent a flat which we desperately need to get out of for various reasons, with the lease up in March.

About the time we decided that we would move out of this place my GF was told she had some shares in a family members company, would she like to sell them for about £20-25K.

This seemed like the perfect solution to our problems because it provided enough money for a deposit on a house, so we began to make plans based around that. Sadly a few months down the line the deal appears to have fallen through, after getting our hopes up this has really hit us hard.

At this point the GFs dad steps in and has offered to lend us £25K, which initially sounds like a really good offer. My problem is I really don't like the idea of borrowing it from him - I can't see how we can afford to pay the mortgage and pay this debt back. This has caused a bit of friction with the GF because she wants to take the money.

Would you take it?

This has tragic consequences written all over it (well, hilarious for us but you know). If you take the money and then split up your are in a bad place. If you don't take the money the GF will break up with you for having a commitment phobia and you're in a bad place.

Why do you need to buy anyway? Can't you just rent?
 
If you're desperate then why are you not willing to accept help?

Have you spoken to both of them to arrange terms? Does he know how hard it will be for you to pay it back?

I can't see how this is causing friction, just speak to them both and work something out or rent somewhere else. Simples!
 
[FnG]magnolia;20477930 said:
This has tragic consequences written all over it (well, hilarious for us but you know). If you take the money and then split up your are in a bad place. If you don't take the money the GF will break up with you for having a commitment phobia and you're in a bad place.

Why do you need to buy anyway? Can't you just rent?


I think you are exaggerating. Unless there is a contract written up then there is no contractual agreement. Her dad can lend her as much money as he likes, the BF can then walk away, should he want to, at any point having not owed the dad anything.
 
[FnG]magnolia;20481109 said:
Uh, I didn't mean a legally bad place, I meant a bad place for a person to be in his life.

Ah. Well I guess he just wouldn't be entitled to anything would he? He'd just have to walk and she'd be left with it all, which yeah I guess would be bad but hey it aint that bad, not like divorce and the pains of that, he'd probably be doing himself a favour getting into this without the ties of marriage actually :D try before you buy etc
 
Get her dad to loan HER the money. You would be in exactly the same position as if she had sold HER shares.
 
Its win win surely. Your girlfriend is probably thinking you don't want to be with her for long because you don't want the money.

Remember, women always add 2+2 and get 20!

Tell me about it, my g/f's dad was visiting from Devon a few weeks ago, and we all went out for a meal. The three of us went out for a smoke and I was chatting to Alan quite casually as we get on well, and used the phrase 'if and when chloe and I buy a house'.

It took 3 days for her to stop asking me what I meant by 'if' and for me to get it through to her it's a figure of speech.

Nrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do OP.
 
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