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Going T Total : Any advice please

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Catanonia, 26 Dec 2015.

  1. MrMoonX

    PermaBanned

    Joined: 31 Dec 2007

    Posts: 10,034

  2. tintin82

    Hitman

    Joined: 27 Aug 2009

    Posts: 702

    +1

    Alcohol is an addictive depressant - fact. People are affected by different substances different ways. Hence why some people struggle to get going in the morning without their triple espresso whilst others don't need any caffeine.

    I think its safe to assume that you like millions of others find alcohol pretty addictive (and depressing hence this thread).

    Trying to cut back just is not going to work for you, trust me. Take is one day at a time and savor the almost immediate benefits of not drinking. Benefits such as extending your productive day until you go to bed, instead of being so tipsy all you can do is drink more and focus on little else. Another benefit is waking up fresh, feeling really well rested, and not having a fuzzy head at best.

    I personally don't buy that 'once an alcoholic always an alcoholic' rubbish. IMO we are all alcoholics to some degree, why on earth else would we consume a poisonous substance so religiously?
     
    Last edited: 27 Dec 2015
  3. Maccapacca

    Don

    Joined: 13 Apr 2010

    Posts: 18,036

    Location: Sunny Sussex

    Normalisation of drinking, ease of purchase and corporation profits.

    I can't make sense of it but they seem to be implying that 50% of a&e visits are alcohol related.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35151246
     
  4. Elixir

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 17 Jul 2011

    Posts: 2,079

    I'm not sure which stat you're misinterpreting but nowhere does it imply that 50% of a&e visits are alcohol related. The only relevant stat for that in the article is that 1 in 20 visits were alcohol related in 2013/14, so 5%.
     
  5. tintin82

    Hitman

    Joined: 27 Aug 2009

    Posts: 702

    When you pull your head out of the sand it is really a shocking and quite frankly sad situation. Our lives and culture revolve around alcohol to such an extent that when one of us declares that they are 'on the wagon' everyone assumes that they are the one with the problem!
     
  6. tintin82

    Hitman

    Joined: 27 Aug 2009

    Posts: 702

    It would be interesting to see what the overall cost to the state is when taking all aspects of alcohol into consideration. Cost to A&E, long term health problems, lost days at work due to hangovers, emotional cost to families, unwanted pregnancies, crime, the list is enormous.

    I am trying to think of the positive aspect to booze but can only think of the steady profits to the shareholders of the various beverage conglomerates, and of course the exchequer.
     
  7. PardonTheWait

    Capodecina

    Joined: 26 Aug 2003

    Posts: 24,117

    Absolutely 100% right - already making excuses for the future!

    I've read through the thread and OP you were definitely right in the first place - you need to stop.

    It's my opinion that your biggest challenge in this is going to be each other. You're two people that both very much need to stop drinking, you both like it.

    There's a very real risk that each time one of you caves, you'll both drink, and that you'll use each other as an excuse, or use each other to justify it.

    So watch out for that.

    And good luck! I'm 1041 days sober and I'm so much happier. My life for a long time was a bit of a knife-edge where it was always a possibility that a drunk night (which was most nights) could go really wrong, and a lot of them did. I'm so much happier and healthier.
     
  8. koolpc

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Dec 2004

    Posts: 12,602

    Location: Under The Desk, Wales

    Really hope you get it sorted OP.

    I struggle myself and the wife is always on about my drinking, not that i ever get drunk but i am always craving a for drink in the evening and especially at weekends.

    I try not to drink between Monday and Thursday but i do fail.

    Today i have had a bottle and a half of wine and over christmas had quite a bit. Again, never drunk. 2 bottles and i am tipsy! Guess that is because my body is used to that much these days.

    I am seriously going to make a new years res to stop drinking or cut down. Thing is, it should be stop drinking as it is never easy to 'cut down' as the excuse is always i will only have one more!
     
  9. dowie

    Capo Crimine

    Joined: 29 Jan 2008

    Posts: 53,720

    It isn't clear the OP is a full on addict or is someone who has been overdoing it socially... There are plenty of people in the city, for example, for whom drinking on a Thursday, Friday lunch time, Friday evening and Saturday evening has been normal for the past decade... including big hangovers on the Saturday and Sunday. They're not necessarily all 'addicted', it is part of their culture... I know people who after 10 years or so have decided to slow it down a lot, switch to beer then soft drink then beer etc.. when doing rounds etc..

    Nothing wrong with initially simply looking to reduce your intake. The complete abstinence approach advocated by AA isn't necessarily a one size fits all approach for anyone who has had some health issues with alcohol whether related to addiction or otherwise.
     
  10. PardonTheWait

    Capodecina

    Joined: 26 Aug 2003

    Posts: 24,117

    I think it's pretty clear - and it's good that OP has come to the conclusion, because as long as you make excuses for yourself and justify it nothing changes. It's when you take a look at yourself and say "yep got to fix" this that it changes.
     
  11. koolpc

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Dec 2004

    Posts: 12,602

    Location: Under The Desk, Wales

    I just said to the wife that i am going to make giving up Alcohol as a new years resolution and she said she will do the same! Phew! Its going to be a struggle!
     
  12. darreny

    Mobster

    Joined: 19 May 2004

    Posts: 2,867

    My brother died of liver failure due to alcohol addiction and I can saying not a nice way to go. Also had a couple nearby who were alcoholics and one choked on her own vomit just last Christmas. I do think it's a slippery slope once you start drinking at home.
    I only drank when out for all my adult life till a parent got Ill and I had to care for them and what started as a couple of glasses of wine at weekends turned into 2 bottles to myself each Friday and Saturday night sometimes dipping into a 3Rd. It's a very dangerous habit and one I'm glad is behind me
     
  13. Angilion

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 5 Dec 2003

    Posts: 19,885

    Location: Just to the left of my PC

    I've quoted those parts because I think they're the key parts.

    You're considering the issue in a rational way. One of the problems with addiction is that it's not rational. An addict doesn't have that rational "that's enough" reaction. The switch is broken. That's true even if the addiction is purely psychological. When it's chemical as well (as it is with alcohol) it's even worse because the chemical addiction triggers an instinctive level of need for the chemical the user is addicted to and that's wholly irrational. It is possible to over-ride it by force of will, but it's far from obvious or easy (although it's both when considered in a rational way). One way is through habit. People are usually creatures of habit, so changing the habit of using to something else is usually effective if you can keep it up long enough for the new behaviour to become a habit. Due to the lack of the "that's enough" reaction, it's generally the case that the most (or only) effective approach is complete avoidance of the addiction. That's why I don't gamble on anything at all. I won't even buy a raffle ticket. Maybe I could now gamble in a controlled manner, but I'm not going risk it. You could say that I wouldn't bet on it :)
     
  14. Angilion

    Man of Honour

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    The OP is drinking at 20-30 units of alcohol per night 5 nights a week and a lot more every time they go out. Even their routine usage at home is 10 times a level that's probably tolerable to their body (the advice in the UK is 3 units per day, but large scale studies show significant risk of adverse effects at 2 units per day). That's not just overdoing it. That's way past the level of exposure to alcohol (which is toxic) that a person's body can process without harmful effects.

    The OP's drinking is adversely affecting their life.

    The OP does not have control over their drinking.

    Any one of those three is an indication of addiction, especially the last one.

    Moderation is fine, but if a person is routinely taking 10 times the relatively safe dose of a recreational drug and that usage is having adverse effects on their life and they don't have control over their drug usage, that person is almost certain to find moderation difficult or impossible. The safest thing for them to do is stop using entirely. That's not a myth.
     
  15. Angilion

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 5 Dec 2003

    Posts: 19,885

    Location: Just to the left of my PC

    To put it politely - you're mistaken. If you don't have a drug problem, you don't need a strong will to stop having a drug problem. So you can't assess the strength of will required. Also, it's not only about strength of will.

    I've used a variety of recreational drugs, including stupidly excessive amounts of alcohol use. I've drunk myself unconcious on numerous occasions. I've woken up without a clue where I was or how I got there. I've woken up covered in vomit that might or might not have been my own. There are gaps in my memory that will never be filled.

    Stopping that required no willpower at all for me. I just stopped using alcohol because it was stupid and expensive and I didn't want to do it any more. Bizarre though it sounds given my ludicrous level of abuse of the drug, I wasn't an addict. The other drugs were even easier to stop using.

    I've not used any drugs for 20 years with the exception of the occasional measure of whisky in my porridge for the flavour. Perhaps as many as 5 units per year, at most. Cheap whisky, of course. I wouldn't put the good stuff in porridge!

    Is my edge twice as straight as yours?
     
  16. SPG

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 28 Jul 2010

    Posts: 7,780

    First thing to understand is, it is your problem. No one else can dig you out. Sure you can get help.

    But at the end of the day its down to you and you alone.

    So stop going to the pub, tell all your friends you have a drinking problem and if they dont support you. Cut the cord and move on, the future is always more important that the past.
     
  17. koolpc

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Dec 2004

    Posts: 12,602

    Location: Under The Desk, Wales

    It is very easy to say that. Its very hard to do though!
     
  18. dowie

    Capo Crimine

    Joined: 29 Jan 2008

    Posts: 53,720

    Nah it is supposed to be worth trying especially given that the OP wants to try cutting down... maybe OP should go and speak to a GP or other professional though but there is evidence that moderation can be helpful in some circumstances... no reason why he can't initially try moderation then move to abstinence.

    http://www.health.harvard.edu/family_health_guide/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

     
  19. SexyGreyFox

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 29 Mar 2003

    Posts: 53,195

    Location: Stoke on Trent

    We're supposed to have no medical threads on these forums but we have loads of 'experts' giving advice on two people they have no idea about how far down the road they are.
    However if I ask about how to remove a zit it will get closed.