Guys guide to online dating

[Nitefly]

At some after work drinks online dating came up and I said my usual “I find it ok blah blah not too bad” but I must have inferred somehow that it was easier for women and was then met with “99% of guys that use online dating are slimy / creepy”. I was then shown a barrage of profiles and very crass messages received effectively confirming the point.

Honestly, what the **** is wrong with these men! I was actually pretty appalled. I used to think it was a doddle for women but actually it’s not. It’s hard in a different way.

 

[malachi]

From what I hear sites like eHarmony are filled with 40+ year old women who come at you with their claws out before they've even met you.

I've heard this too, not going to find that 18 to 25 year old women in their prime on there if thats what you are after.

 

[Jonnybmac]

From what I hear sites like eHarmony are filled with 40+ year old women who come at you with their claws out before they've even met you.

I'm 32 and going on a date with a 24 year old tomorrow who I would say I'm punching with so I would disagree. My search is capped at 27 but there's a what if? Section a bit like tinder that gives you matches that are similar to you but not as close as your usual matches and she came up. I messaged saying she came up on my what ifs and asked if her eyes are always that big or is it just the photo as they stood out for me, she said she never ever been asked that before and we got talking from there.
There is plenty of young ones on there and you cant trawl, they give you matches based on your preferences and quiz answers.

 

[malachi]

At some after work drinks online dating came up and I said my usual “I find it ok blah blah not too bad” but I must have inferred somehow that it was easier for women and was then met with “99% of guys that use online dating are slimy / creepy”. I was then shown a barrage of profiles and very crass messages received effectively confirming the point.

Honestly, what the **** is wrong with these men! I was actually pretty appalled. I used to think it was a doddle for women but actually it’s not. It’s hard in a different way.

Depends on the area, where I'm from in the UK its not the best area, high unemployment, plenty of people still on the dole or in low skilled jobs. So from both genders you end up with the werid creepy men with no social skills, the single mother with different kids, from different men or whales. The lowest of the low on the dating sites because they don't know any better.

Now I've moved to Switzerland, the girls I've seen my friends end up with from online dating You they are hot! When you live in a high quality area, you get high quality people.

 

[Drizmod]

If you are an average dude or even just above average then dont even bother with Tinder as its just a hypergamy machine on steroids.

 

[Greebo]

Depends on the area, where I'm from in the UK its not the best area, high unemployment, plenty of people still on the dole or in low skilled jobs. So from both genders you end up with the werid creepy men with no social skills, the single mother with different kids, from different men or whales. The lowest of the low on the dating sites because they don't know any better.

Now I've moved to Switzerland, the girls I've seen my friends end up with from online dating You they are hot! When you live in a high quality area, you get high quality people.

Was the same when I looked on Tinder in Krakow. Every single woman was smoking hot. In fact, even on the streets every one was smoking hot.

Me and my mates went to a nightclub and we finally saw one woman who wasn't smoking hot in a group of about 6 and made the joke about how we didnt fancy the look of yours to one of the group but also pointing out the "ugliest" woman would have been the pick of the nightclub back home in Newcastle.

Was a real eye opening just how ugly northern women are in general over here.

 

[dowie]

Honestly, what the **** is wrong with these men! I was actually pretty appalled. I used to think it was a doddle for women but actually it’s not. It’s hard in a different way.

I guess it is just down to the structure of the dating market - in general men ask and women choose. Problem is that means you'll get a subset of desperate/low quality men who will do a lot of asking. So for every woman on the site still looking for a match there will be the inevitable batch of messages from the reject pile who have contacted pretty much all the other existing or active women within their target age range/area. Some of them no doubt become increasingly jaded, others just have zero self awareness in the first place.

 

[Zatoichi.uK]

About 10 years ago I made two profiles on POF. One where I was basically myself and played mr nice guy and another where I was an arrogant ass hat. I got 3 dates from the latter and none from the first. Make of that what you will.

 

[malachi]

If you are an average dude or even just above average then dont even bother with Tinder as its just a hypergamy machine on steroids.

'Looks at location......Birmingham, UK'

I hear you! I hear you loud and clear! Me, originally from Smethwick, now happy living in Zurich When it comes to the Midlands and Tinder, unless you are a typical Caucasian male with a beard and silly tribal tattoos then you going to have a very hard time. Worse thing about it most (not all) women on there, in that area are more ruff than a dogs bark! Yet, they have the cheek the turn up their nose at matches.

Was the same when I looked on Tinder in Krakow. Every single woman was smoking hot. In fact, even on the streets every one was smoking hot.

Me and my mates went to a nightclub and we finally saw one woman who wasn't smoking hot in a group of about 6 and made the joke about how we didnt fancy the look of yours to one of the group but also pointing out the "ugliest" woman would have been the pick of the nightclub back home in Newcastle.

Was a real eye opening just how ugly northern women are in general over here.

Poland......the women there are dangerously hot! I was in Krakow and Warsaw in May, 99.9% of them are size 8 to 10. Even the older women with kids are slim. Puts the UK to shame....including the men as they are not really looking after themselves either.

Me being a black male and known issues Poland has with racism.....I had no problem with girls there in the night clubs

 

[Street]

I'm 32 and going on a date with a 24 year old tomorrow who I would say I'm punching with so I would disagree. My search is capped at 27 but there's a what if? Section a bit like tinder that gives you matches that are similar to you but not as close as your usual matches and she came up. I messaged saying she came up on my what ifs and asked if her eyes are always that big or is it just the photo as they stood out for me, she said she never ever been asked that before and we got talking from there.
There is plenty of young ones on there and you cant trawl, they give you matches based on your preferences and quiz answers.

I met my girlfriend on there just over 5 years ago. She wasn't in my usual matches and was out of my distance range so I discounted her straight away. She ended up spotting me and messaged me first.. Six months later we were living together!

 

[Mason-]

Use dating sites that pay. Free ones and tinder really aren't all that. I'm using eharmony; I managed to somehow find a code after a few hours searching to get a year sub for £110 when 3 months usually costs 75. Matches I've had have all had something in common and the convo has just flowed.

Met my current gf on there too. And it's definitely better than tinder/pof and all the other free ones I tried. My gf had pretty awful experiences on the free ones too. I have to say it's not perfect though. Everyday when you get your matches some of them are inactive accounts. I know it to be true because I went inactive for a while and was still getting e-mails saying so and so has tried to talk to you. How can they want to talk to me if my account is inactive? Because it shows inactive accounts. So yeah, if they remedied that it would have been much better. But hopefully I won't ever need to use it again.

 

[wildman]

cheaper to just go to a local brothel then what you see is what you get plus no extra baggage..........................

 

[wildman]

This was you wasn't it OP?

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9896265/woman-3hrs-date-fat-dumped/

she had pointy elbows tbh..................

 

[Kanpai]

From what I hear sites like eHarmony are filled with 40+ year old women who come at you with their claws out before they've even met you.

Oh man, I never knew the definition of psychopath until chatting to a girl off eHarmony for a few days, had to end up telling her I'll file for harassment if she didn't stop spamming me with messages and texts.

Full story in other thread about worst online dating experiences.

 

[KNiVES]

if you can't see their collarbones in their profile pics they are landwhales

cheaper to just go to a local brothel then what you see is what you get plus no extra baggage..........................

free stds too

 

[MonkeyBasher]

I am 42. I setup a profile on a dating site when online dating was in its infancy and I was a young lad. I did what I thought would be expected. A couple of head shots, a nice "i am out hiking photo", lots of smiles etc. Into gaming, hiking, camping, cooking,yada yada. It also had my location.
1st response. A much older lady from stockport. I got the works. Different lingerie shots. Spread eagle full beaver shots. The styles she liked, the positions she could do (with pics). Was 100% clear, no interest in dating. Just wanted sex and a lot of it. The last shot, close up of the lady parts with her holding up a newspaper to show it was a recent shot and not a scam.

I ran ...... like the wind. Deleted that profile.

This was my first and last internet dating attempt.

 

[Kanpai]

I am 42. I setup a profile on a dating site when online dating was in its infancy and I was a young lad. I did what I thought would be expected. A couple of head shots, a nice "i am out hiking photo", lots of smiles etc. Into gaming, hiking, camping, cooking,yada yada. It also had my location.
1st response. A much older lady from stockport. I got the works. Different lingerie shots. Spread eagle full beaver shots. The styles she liked, the positions she could do (with pics). Was 100% clear, no interest in dating. Just wanted sex and a lot of it. The last shot, close up of the lady parts with her holding up a newspaper to show it was a recent shot and not a scam.

I ran ...... like the wind. Deleted that profile.

This was my first and last internet dating attempt.

Username seems quite fitting for her requirements

 

[Bassmansam]

Me and my mates went to a nightclub and we finally saw one woman who wasn't smoking hot in a group of about 6 and made the joke about how we didnt fancy the look of yours to one of the group but also pointing out the "ugliest" woman would have been the pick of the nightclub back home in Newcastle.

Was a real eye opening just how ugly northern women are in general over here.

So you/ people in newcastle go up to woman and tell them they are ugly, wut?
That could be quite soul destroying.

 

[413x]

My actual full guide would be

1) don't waste time on endless chat before hand, get out and meet them face to face as soon as possible. Is amazing how many potential soul mates were duds and the ones I held out little hope for turned out to be pretty great.

2) the hot/crazy graph really does exist in 98% of cases. It gets worse the older the girl gets (a 8-10 and single at 30? They either have poor judgement or have issues)

3) it's a numbers game, 10 coffee dates over 2 awkward dinner's wins everytime. 10 £5 coffee over 2 £50 dinner's represents better value for money.

4) don't make too much effort scrubbing up for a date. Better they meet you at your average then expect high falutin treatment all the time.

5) steer clear of the "recently separated" brigade unless you're happy with a rebound ride. Not to be knocked.

6) group photos means it's the ugly one. Or even worse the hot one with self esteem issues who surrounds herself with fuglies.

7) psychos are real and out there. Filter them out by asking what their opinion is on checking partners phones and always sit closest to the door.

8) try to get written consent for sex. Even better if signed by 2 independent witnesses.

9) inspirational quotes in their pictures, or on Facebook, should be a big red flag. They're depressed.

10) Peservere. My wife was a Tinder date that I didn't read too much into and turned out to be perfect in every way. She even insisted on paying for 50% of our wine bill on the first date.

Mostly agree

Number 10 is a real good judge of character. Real equality there and self respect

 

[wildman]

if you can't see their collarbones in their profile pics they are landwhales



free stds too

only if you don't wear a party hat....................