Handling a breakup?

ja3h

ja3h

ja3h

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Joined
28 Jun 2005
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997
Location
London
Hey all,

I'm not sure whether to keep in contact with my ex or not.

Basically, been going out 4 years, lived with eachother for 2 years. 1st year went out, 2nd year lived out with eachother, 3rd year she lived with my family, 4th year she lived back at home. One day when we went out she was being a bit dodgy and after i got home i asked her why she was dodgy and we talked on the phone and she broke up with me. She loves me... but isn't in love with me.

I still love her loads so i'm hurting a bit but i just gotta get over it.

We still chat every now and then but i'm definately not over her (nearly been two weeks) , and i find it hard to chat to her. Shall i just not contact her till i'm over her. Or not contact her full stop?
 
Cut her out of your life. Its harsh but it'll be the easiest on you.

Make sure you can take her place with other people though, when you'd be with her go see friends or something.
 
It's up to you - no-one knows your relastionship and your feelings like you do.

If it's not doing you any good talking to her, don't.

If you want to remain friends, do. :)

Personally, I tend to try and give myself a break from them for a while at least though :)
 
As Kelly says, give yourself at least a little bit of time away from her. If you try to be friends straight away, it will be very difficult. After some time with her not in your life, you may decide that there is something left to salvage and try being friends, but it's definately not a wise idea to push that too soon.
 
ja3h said:
. She loves me... but isn't in love with me.
Click to expand...


There is nothing you can do about it.

Its going to be like a massive hole in your life opening up and, especially if you really do love her, its going to hurt like hell for a long long time.

As for the part i've quoted, I in that situation with someone, hard to get your head round but if you really think about it you can fathom it out.
 
Cut her out of your life completely, until your 100% sure your over here. Then and ONLY then should you attempt a friendship, and only then will you be able to have one.

That's my advice anyway, it's what i needed to do with an ex of mine, and now we get on fine :)
 
Vixen said:
give yourself at least a little bit of time away from her. If you try to be friends straight away, it will be very difficult. After some time with her not in your life, you may decide that there is something left to salvage and try being friends, but it's definately not a wise idea to push that too soon.
Click to expand...
What she says.
 
Well, i'm seeing her tomorrow for the first time since the break up. I can't imagine how hard it will be. She's gonna collect her stuff and sort some things out. And after that we won't talk anymore.

Thanks for your responses, i guess it is was too early to try and be friends.
 
give it time...

never say never..

for now though I think its better you try and not have contact and spend time with other friends and family trying to get used to not having her around and all...

I do feel for you mate, not along ago I was in the same situation myself, time and patience is the key and staying determined to get on with life as opposed to reliving every minute of your relationship..

Good luck mate..

"things are always hard at first but they do get easier"
 
It's something you need to work out yourself. I just split up with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago and we've been pretty chatty and normal and just friends ever since. Obviously this could have been very different, which is why you need to figure it out yourself by looking at the situation you are in. Only you know what you want deep down.
 
This guide has been doing the rounds for years over on SA. It's a pretty awesome guide to getting over a relationship.

Warning: May contain a few swear words, though I had aquick read and couldn't see any.
 
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Everyones different and do what you feel is best for you.

I know when my marriage broke down and my wife left me, I had to speak to her on a couple of occassions over the next few months after she left. This was really hard on me, everytime I spoke to her all the feelings i had for her rushed back and i got really upset and found it difficult to cope.

I havent spoke to her for 10 months now and although i do still think about her now and then, its made life easier not keeping in contact.

but like i said at the begining, you can only do what feels best for you.
 
Grow some balls and call your mates then go out, get drunk and get laid.

If you have no friends you have three options:

Kill yourself
Mope around on your own
Go out by yourself, get drunk and get laid.

*n
 
yes i got the whole 'i love you but i'm not in love with you' (wtf) after a year and 5 months. I emailed her a bit but then decided to cut myself off, didn't speak to her for well over a month, spent loads of time with my friends, met new people, got casual with a couple of girls, did football, kickboxing, running, gym, even salsa dancing, then pub with my mates.

I was so busy and having so much fun i didn't have time to be down. It's been 3 months now, i've spoken to her once since, not ready to see her again yet or talk to her on a regular basis, but now i don't really care, i've got too much to be getting on with.

I've no idea how i feel about her now, i'd have to see her to find out, but there's no rush. Chin up, the first month is the hardest, after that it gets a lot easier very quickly :)

Good luck
 
Give her one for the road then delete her number and totally blank her. Hide if she comes round knocking and pretend you have moved away.
If you have any sisters then bribe them to lie to her for you.

This is the man way. :p
 
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