hears some of them before, but some still made me smile.

Soldato
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Back with a Vengeance.
Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously:

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like. Night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in
the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

15. OK, so what's the spee d of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened

25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
 
JayMax said:
Thanks for that, I thought he'd sat and made all 27 up himself just for our amusement.
Whilst I don't doubt that you have the ability to discern what is user-created material and what is simply a "copy and paste" job, my statement was aimed more at people – such as mattbrown91, who I quoted – who made comments implying to various extents that the OP had some part in the formulating of the content.

I was also making a point that the OP did not state where he obtained the content (just a simple "My friend sent me this in an email" would have sufficed) in addition to the fact that it's just random content which is unsuited to a public message board and will lead on to nothing more than a series of "LOL, very good!" style comments.
 
The_Dark_Side said:
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

But what about this:

I know 6 people, whose scores in a test were:

12, 12, 12, 12, 12, 80

The average mark: 23.333...

Therefore only 1 person is above average.

(Or are you not talking about mean?)

Angus Higgins
 
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and
going the wrong way.

28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.

29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.

31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness
of the bread.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.

40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
principles.

41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.

44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch
up.

48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
 
Al Vallario said:
bearing in mind that as i titled the thread "heard (ok i typed hears but i credited the members with the intelligence to crack that code by themselves) some of them before, but some still made me smile......it's fair to assume that unless i'm schizophrenic and my two seperate halves don't talk to each other, that of course i wasn't suggesting i'd made the stuff up myself when i said i'd HEARD some of them before!!!

i see the GD pedantry hats are still being given out.
 
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