For some people easier said than done with the cost difference - though much easier to do if there is two of you.
For reasons like this there is no way I would share a house with random people.
Housemate advice
- Thread starter Jasoncmor
- Start date
For some people easier said than done with the cost difference - though much easier to do if there is two of you.
For reasons like this there is no way I would share a house with random people.
This is a computer forum... there might be some student members looking at the photos thinking "wait, is that my room?"
I've seen worse there doesn't seem to be much discarded food mess itself and only a few discarded cans on the floor, etc. I've seen people whose rooms you can't even see the floor for a 2-3 depth of cans, bottles and crisp packets, etc. and the inside of their car the same!
If OP isn't going to tackle it head on then I'd say start by putting a nice big bin with black liner bag outside his door obviously positioned (not just leaving a sack) :s though you may end up putting it out yourself but might atleast get him into the habit of removing the mess from the room over time.
It's definitely not pretty but a good portion of that looks like surface mess so easily dealt with. We cleared out a former lodger's room that was much worse in terms of smells, liquids and foods (though found some cash and a Ronaldo football top).
Someone I knew at uni used to have dinner sized plate ashtrays, several of them in a uni room!
Someone I knew at uni used to have dinner sized plate ashtrays, several of them in a uni room!
Nope.
Thats like saying it should be 50/50 satisfaction with 2 lovers making sexy time in bed... When the truth is it should be 100/100.
Nope. If you're assigning blame for one issue, 200 has been accounted for, they each have 100. If we wanted to be more precise I would just say both having 100% is not possible.
When i was a student i lived in a house share where we had to keep pota and pans locked in our rooms otherwise the flithy 2-3 housemates would use them and leave them everywhere. Once we got fed up of tidying up after them and it got to the point where we had 5 black bags of rubbish full of maggots, every piece of cutlery and pots and pans were mouldy and the water on the work surfaces turned to a rancid jelly. We were cooking our food and cleaning our stuff then putting it in our rooms to save them. The kitcheb and lounge became out of bounds for the cleans housemates as we went into each others rooms to eat and socialise or we went out.
In the end it got so bad and the letting agent didnt care, it took 3 of us 10 hours to sanitize and clean/bin everything as it just got too much and the pigs we lived with wouldn't clean it
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Kind of looks like normal student accommodation
Thinking the same thing!
This is a computer forum... there might be some student members looking at the photos thinking "wait, is that my room?"
Thinking the same thing!
Many thanks for all your responses everyone.
That's no problem, I know i have issues to deal with and I am working on them, things just don't change overnight though, as much as I would like them to, But I know I need to sort myself out aswell, but thank you
Good points thanks, I have always been taken advantage of but I just put it down to people being *********, but I know I need to deal with that on a personal level, but i've prepared my talk with him and as soon as he returns, he will get the picture!
I have debated contacting his friends / family due to this and other issues, but then I think, i'm not his carer, but at the same time I see him being this way.
Part of the reason I haven't sat him down is we still currently live together and I just worry about things turning bad.
Its close enough, I don't know how much is under the bed as I didn't want to get low enough to be able to see! lol
You are right, I am a wimp, always have been, just another issue of mine
You also are right, I know I should have dealt with this head on as soon as it started happening, but being too trusting, giving too many chances ends in situations like these.
Problem I have is I feel like the ******* for being strict or firm with people.
Yeah, I get that!
Thank you, as said, this is something I need to work on, but hearing people write it out does help me to understand more clearly.
I'm afraid of catching something lol, but seriously, he needs to clean it and I will offer to help if he wants it but it will be down to him.
That's the funny thing, he always closes it, when he goes to the front door, bathroom or go out its closed, when i knock on his door to talk to him, he climbs over everything and opens the door maybe a foot and stands in the door way some no one can see in, Im often in the spare room which is next door and always hear him tripping over it, and gliding across the wall to get to the door.
That is something that will happen in the future.
Cheers all
That's no problem, I know i have issues to deal with and I am working on them, things just don't change overnight though, as much as I would like them to, But I know I need to sort myself out aswell, but thank you
Good points thanks, I have always been taken advantage of but I just put it down to people being *********, but I know I need to deal with that on a personal level, but i've prepared my talk with him and as soon as he returns, he will get the picture!
I have debated contacting his friends / family due to this and other issues, but then I think, i'm not his carer, but at the same time I see him being this way.
Part of the reason I haven't sat him down is we still currently live together and I just worry about things turning bad.
Its close enough, I don't know how much is under the bed as I didn't want to get low enough to be able to see! lol
You are right, I am a wimp, always have been, just another issue of mine
You also are right, I know I should have dealt with this head on as soon as it started happening, but being too trusting, giving too many chances ends in situations like these.
Problem I have is I feel like the ******* for being strict or firm with people.
I see it like they both to blame, just for seperate things, if that makes sense. Its early, the coffee hasn't kicked in and I shouldn't be posting really
Yeah, I get that!
Thank you, as said, this is something I need to work on, but hearing people write it out does help me to understand more clearly.
I'm afraid of catching something lol, but seriously, he needs to clean it and I will offer to help if he wants it but it will be down to him.
That's the funny thing, he always closes it, when he goes to the front door, bathroom or go out its closed, when i knock on his door to talk to him, he climbs over everything and opens the door maybe a foot and stands in the door way some no one can see in, Im often in the spare room which is next door and always hear him tripping over it, and gliding across the wall to get to the door.
That is something that will happen in the future.
Cheers all
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
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Make love to him right this minute. Have you ever seen Women In Love? Well, like that but with men.
Quite astounding that you have not been banned from the forum. Constant drivel posts.
You could always put him on ignore.
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You need to get yourself on a confidence and assertiveness course pronto.
I've had this happen twice in my life. Once was at uni where I ended up threatening to throw the offending lad out of the window if he didn't sort it out. The second when I houses in London where I threw a pack of bin liners at the bloke and told him to clear out the room or else id be going in the next day and doing it for him but stripping the room of literally everything.
Both times the problem was solved within a day, although I was nicknamed Ivan Drago at uni as I boxed and have the ability to look calm but dangerous at the same time (my wife stills calls me Mr Russian if I give her a certain look) . The irony is I'm very peace loving and avoid conflict unless absolutely necessary. You just need to lay down the law and don't get tied up with his issues.
You constantly put yourself down in this thread, man up a bit and have some self confidence. Go learn judo or something.
I've had this happen twice in my life. Once was at uni where I ended up threatening to throw the offending lad out of the window if he didn't sort it out. The second when I houses in London where I threw a pack of bin liners at the bloke and told him to clear out the room or else id be going in the next day and doing it for him but stripping the room of literally everything.
Both times the problem was solved within a day, although I was nicknamed Ivan Drago at uni as I boxed and have the ability to look calm but dangerous at the same time (my wife stills calls me Mr Russian if I give her a certain look) . The irony is I'm very peace loving and avoid conflict unless absolutely necessary. You just need to lay down the law and don't get tied up with his issues.
You constantly put yourself down in this thread, man up a bit and have some self confidence. Go learn judo or something.
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So small update, and not a good one.
The person who was supposed to be moving in to replace this guy unfortunately didn't in the end, their circumstances made them unsure and so with time running out, I had a chat with the guy and said to him, in essence that some things had to change in particular with things being cleaned, paying bills on time etc.
The bills situation has been fine, i'm not sure that i mentioned previously in this thread, but this guy spent all his money and couldn't afford the rent a couple of months ago, and some of the bills, so that put us in a difficult situation, he sorted it last minute, but we had to put our money into the bank to avoid overdraft charges, as the rent goes out as one payment.
I've spoken to him multiple times and it always seems to be talking to a brick wall, I just get "yes" "i agree" "i know i need to sort this" etc, and nothing ever changes.
So, we have a joint tenancy agreement, and from my understanding we are all responsible for the property so that's the main reason I haven't gone to the landlord yet as i fear that he may just turn around and say you all need to get out because we are all in the house together.
Whilst I have kept reminding him about the days the rubbish and recycling goes out, and left rubbish bags outside his door I haven't said outright that i've peeked inside his room and seen the mess, as I really don't know how he is gonna take it, I really am at a loss
Anyway, someone mentioned about photos, so i took some, which I will also have for the record if needed.
He's currently away again so I really want to decide on how to deal with this now.
Hoooooooly ****
That's been let get out of hand for way too long - That's disgusting!
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What I would have done because of the person I am is tidy the mess up when he wasn't in, took before and after photos.
Printed them out and then said if this goes back to the way the first picture was you are out and it's as simple as that".
No messing about tell them how it is mental health or not. Truth hurts and people need to stand up for themselves way quicker than leaving things to get to this stage.
Printed them out and then said if this goes back to the way the first picture was you are out and it's as simple as that".
No messing about tell them how it is mental health or not. Truth hurts and people need to stand up for themselves way quicker than leaving things to get to this stage.
How does someone who's only been here a few months and posted so little know that about Mags?
He's a fixture of the forums. Not necessarily a good one, but a fixture none the less.
As for the OP and his housemate problem - get that slob evicted, he's making your life hell.
I'd call him on his bluff, there's no way that he'd not realise that someone could see half the rubbish piled up behind him no matter how little he tries to open the door.
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You are right, I am a wimp, always have been, just another issue of mine
Dude that's not an issue. Some (read: many) people aren't happy confronting others.