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How to tell a friend we no longer can be friends?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Jonnybmac, May 20, 2019.

  1. Devrij


    Joined: Jul 23, 2009

    Posts: 13,010

    Location: Bath

    Tbf your friend sounds mental and you're probably better shot of her. How would you feel if your gf had a relationship like this with some bloke? I can see the gfs point of view here.
  2. 233


    Joined: Nov 21, 2004

    Posts: 12,446

    Location: Glasgow

    where does the rich widower fall on the hot/crazy scale? would it be worth the occasional stab wound?
  3. mmj_uk


    Joined: Dec 26, 2003

    Posts: 22,598

    By the sound of it, OP will be the one on the end of a stab wound if he has any money.
  4. Nasher


    Joined: Nov 22, 2006

    Posts: 11,842

    There is jealously here. Women can be quite territorial :p
  5. Ayahuasca


    Joined: Apr 23, 2014

    Posts: 18,633

    Location: County Durham

    How hot is this friend as she sounds off the chart crazy?
  6. GreenMint


    Joined: Dec 11, 2003

    Posts: 20,986

    Location: Sol

    That reason, and that reason alone is why it'll never work out!

    You're not making the decision, you're told to ignore friend, you get back with your ex, who seems jealous at best, it'll be fine, there will be some sort of min rift, the 80% of you that didn't want to cut out friend goes running to her for friendship, nothing happens, things get messy again due to you even seeing her, rinse and repeat until 1 (or more depending on what circumstances) of you 3 die!

    You have to want to cut her out for you, if you're doing it just for someone else you're never going to stick to it, no matter how bat poo crazy she has become!
  7. Burned_Alive


    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 11,388

    Location: Cheshire

    Friend sounds mental. Girlfriend is right to be annoyed.

    "I'm sorry, we can't be friends anymore. Please don't contact me."
  8. h4rm0ny


    Joined: Jun 25, 2011

    Posts: 5,472

    Location: Yorkshire and proud of it!

    Your friend sounds dangerous, frankly. I don't know what you want to say, but be clear that her behaviour has made it impossible for you to continue the friendship, that she has made it a choice between her and your girlfriend and you unequivocally choose your girlfriend. And that she wouldn't change her behaviour and you know she wouldn't so the friendship has to end completely. And stick to it - seriously, bunny boiler in the making.

    I'd also spare a thought for your girlfriend. It's decidedly not nice to have to deal with a partner's female friend who keeps trying to sabotage your relationship for reasons unknown but guessed at. And who mocks you in front of your partner! That she was willing to try speaks well of your girlfriend. If there was a guy who kept hanging round your girlfriend, trying to White Knight for her and undermine you all the time you'd likely not be happy either.

    Good luck with how you do it, but make sure you do.
  9. NickK


    Joined: Jan 13, 2003

    Posts: 17,746

    You have a friend/girlfriend (blurted lines) in all but cup in hand and a separate official girlfriend.

    I will tell you right now that your ogf will always make comments about the relationship if she is the jealous type. Also unless any friends pass her acceptance you will continue to get flack.
    I find it easier to chat with women - I always have done but in the past it was single women (platonic) now it’s more couples and men. As you get older so they all get married and the issues stop.

    First I think you need to work out which *you* want kids with (as a guide).. then the rest should follow.
  10. Parky

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 14, 2009

    Posts: 1,212

    Location: Accrington, Lancashire

    Sounds like you are going to have issues with either choice. You keep her as a friend and you'll lose the GF and probably experience the same thing with future partners.

    If you ditch the friend do you really see the relationship with the GF working out in the long run? The fact that you've gotten back into contact with the friend knowing how the GF feels on the matter must be a big red flag to her too.

    I'd say ditch the friend either way as she seems tapped, but you might need to sit down with the GF for a bit of a difficult chat and own up to stirring things with your decisions and really find out if a relationship is what the both of you actually want.
  11. cheesyboy


    Joined: Dec 7, 2012

    Posts: 10,985

    Location: Gloucestershire

    Yeah, I thought she sounded a little psychopathy tbh.
  12. MikeTheNative


    Joined: Jun 17, 2012

    Posts: 7,793

    Location: South Wales

    You have to decide between the two of them. I would go buy a gucci belt, if one of them sees you and says 'you must be top earner' then you know it's meant to be.
  13. doodah


    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 19,397

    Location: London

    She sounds full on cray cray!


    I don't envy your position but I guess just tell her you have had enough of her behaviour towards your GF. This woman might be your future wife and you're in a seemingly impossible situation but sack this friend off - she's poison.
    Last edited: May 21, 2019
  14. Hades


    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 21,908

    Location: Surrey and London

    My advice is to make a decision on the relatuonship with your friends on those terms alone. Do not make the decision based on your GF.

    In fact I would advise you consider both your friend and GF carefully but in isolation.

    Regardless of your GF do you want to continue the friendship with the friend? If not then just tell her and move on. If you do then just carry on regardless of your GF opinions.

    Also consider the relationship with your GF carefully. Do you really wabt to accept her telling you who else you can be friends with? I allowed my GF/wife to cause me to distance myself from people in the past. I would never do that now. Your GF sounds very co trolling abd manipulative. Is that what you want in life?
  15. h4rm0ny


    Joined: Jun 25, 2011

    Posts: 5,472

    Location: Yorkshire and proud of it!

    I think you may be projecting based on your experiences. This doesn't sound like a case of the GF originally being the one to force him to distance his friends. Indeed, she originally went along with it. But this friend sounds like they are actively jealous of the GF, openly hostile and actively trying to sabotage the relationship covertly or otherwise. I think any partner is entitled to object to a "friend" who is actively against their relationship.
  16. ethan


    Joined: Sep 16, 2005

    Posts: 6,828

    Location: What used to be a UK

    Whats a Unicorn zone? Sounds interesting :D
  17. StoutMeister


    Joined: Apr 7, 2009

    Posts: 6,658

    Location: Western Seaboard

    Follow the money, let the good times roll, then Bamm! See ya!
  18. Hades


    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 21,908

    Location: Surrey and London

  19. randomshenans


    Joined: Sep 11, 2009

    Posts: 10,598

    Location: France, Alsace

    she's ******* mental and killed her husband.
  20. Roar87


    Joined: May 10, 2012

    Posts: 4,892

    Location: Leeds

    Girl's that don't exist, 8-10 on hotness and 4 on the crazy scale