I have children; and a religious wife and parents in law.

[Illgresi]

I realise this may be a futile attempt to discuss something that I am already highly prejudiced about. However, it's a critical aspect of my life (and my children's lives), and I'd like to gauge the general opinion of this messageboard. I've seen this place swing from hard right in the past, to now where a poll is vaguely representative of Scottish independence. I think I can trust the opinion of people here.

My wife is religious. I am not. Before I met my wife I would have described myself as an anti-theist. In fact I still do, but I have softened my approach.

My parents in law are the absolute epitomy of the soft, Anglican church-goer (albeit their church is the Scottish equivalent). They are wonderful people, and I am so grateful to have them.

I am worried however. I want my children to grow up without indoctrination. I want them to be able to make an informed decision based on reality, not on stories. At the same time, I can't (and would never) try to prevent them from being with their grandparents. In fact the opposite; it's critically important that they have time with them.

They are not the proselitysing kind, but they also (and I include my wife in this) don't recognise that their stories are a form of indoctrination.

Am I over thinking this? Would be grateful to hear opinions from all angles.

Thanks

 

[flea.rider]

if you teach your kids to explore everything .. then let them make there own mind up ... everything will be fine ..

 

[Rroff]

Main thing is in their lives in general they have the freedom to be themselves, make their own decisions and as above try to teach them to be inquisitive - to question things for themselves.

Can be a difficult situation to deal with as easy to hurt people's feelings in these kind of contexts when the religious ones have good intentions and not understand why you'd have a problem with what they are doing.

 

[Zefan]

You're over thinking it. I'd be more worried about what they're told in school, especially in Scotland.

 

[PlacidCasual]

You're over thinking it. I'd be more worried about what they're told in school, especially in Scotland.

I agree, believing in God especially as a modern Anglican is going to be far less harmful than what passes for more identarian indoctrination they’ll get at school these days.

 

[The_Arbiter]

Unless they're loons and press an agenda onto people i don't think you have anything to worry about. At very least, if one of them does turn out to follow God, then you're probably safe they aren't opting for a different sex or gender each month, which only brings mental health issues along with it. Religion is generally a positive environment.

But as said, school is where my concerns lie for the future.

 

[OspreyO]

I'm not sure how the grandparents will have more of an influence then you or your wife. Anyone I know with mixed faith or no faith came to an agreement on how much or little involvement their kids would have with religion.

 

[bayo000]

They are wonderful people, and I am so grateful to have them.

That's the most important bit, I wouldn't worry.

 

[Jono8]

I wouldn't worry too much. My grandma is very religious but she's never tried to influence the rest of the family that way (ie my dad, her son, is not in anyway religious).

I actually admire her greatly for that. She has her faith, and that's absolutely fine. She doesn't go on about or try to get others to partake in it.

I guess you just need to perhaps monitor the situation a bit when they are together.

 

[EdwardTeach]

I wouldnt worry, one cynical parent is usually enough!

Just be clear about your own beliefs to the kids without lecturing then.

 

[dave28]

Will be impossible to shield them from it when its their own mother and close family.

They will hear it but it will go in one ear and out the other.

 

[Bluecube]

I'd be more worried about what they're told in school, especially in Scotland.

What a completely ignorant statement. I don't know what school you went to but schools teach religious tolerance these days. As to why you think that is any different in Scotland, I don't know.

 

[OspreyO]

What a completely ignorant statement. I don't know what school you went to but schools teach religious tolerance these days. As to why you think that is any different in Scotland, I don't know.

I know in Ireland as religion disappears there's a hardcore fanatical religious element trying to gain influence in the schools and churches behind the scenes. It's completely at odds with modern society and will only hasten it's own demise. But it's not completely paranoid. My own experience of my own kids is they recieve a very light touch of religion and have mostly lost interest in it before their teens.

I think kids today are much better informed. If you feed into that with your own information they should be well grounded and informed.

 

[Bluecube]

I know in Ireland as religion disappears there's a hardcore fanatical religious element trying to gain influence in the schools and churches behind the scenes. It's completely at odds with modern society and will only hasten it's own demise. But it's not completely paranoid. My own experience of my own kids is they recieve a very light touch of religion and have mostly lost interest in it before their teens.

Religious education in Ireland (both North and South) is a completely different ball game to that in modern Britain. Unless the OPs children are going a specifically religious school (and even then), religion will not take any form of indoctrination whatsoever. Zefan's statement was ridiculous.

The OP seems concerned that the "wonderful people" grandparents are indoctrinating his children with religious stories. They're just stories. Everyone knows religious stories such as Moses and the Israelites, David and Goliath, Daniel and the lion's den, the Christmas story, the Easter story, etc, etc. Doesn't mean that they're going to run around with a suicide belt on... The OP should balance it out by reading something from Grimm's Fairytales.

 

[Jokester]

I think you're likely mis-interpreting Zefan's comments to do with traditional religions. I suspect he's actually referring to more modern zealotry.

 

[Bluecube]

I suspect he's actually referring to more modern zealotry.

That's how I read it and what I'm responding to.

 

[OspreyO]

Religious education in Ireland (both North and South) is a completely different ball game to that in modern Britain. Unless the OPs children are going a specifically religious school (and even then), religion will not take any form of indoctrination whatsoever. Zefan's statement was ridiculous.

The OP seems concerned that the "wonderful people" grandparents are indoctrinating his children with religious stories. They're just stories. Everyone knows religious stories such as Moses and the Israelites, David and Goliath, Daniel and the lion's den, the Christmas story, the Easter story, etc, etc. Doesn't mean that they're going to run around with a suicide belt on... The OP should balance it out by reading something from Grimm's Fairytales.

I've lived in Ireland and UK. Mainstream religion isn't that different in both places. Just less of it in UK. Dunno about Scotland.

I think people of no faith often call any aspect of religion indoctrination. No matter how light the touch. I think people who have gone through it realise it's mostly ignored by kids. People of no faith aren't that relaxed about it.

A separate issue I'm just saying there's a element of fanaticism, zealotry creeping into RC religion as it retreats.

 

[Jokester]

That's how I read it and what I'm responding to.

Maybe I was being a bit obtuse, I don't believe Zefan is talking about religion or religious intolerance in the way you think he is.

 

[Bluecube]

I've lived in Ireland and UK. Mainstream religion isn't that different in both places. Just less of it in UK. Dunno about Scotland.

Scotland is part of the UK despite what the SNP would have you think. Religious education is little different in Scotland than it is in England and Wales mainly teaching awareness of different religions. Indoctrination doesn't come into it.

 

[do_ron_ron]

Get your children to question everything. Mainstream education already does some of this and the new curriculum in Scotland is good. Religion in Scotland can be toxic, especially in parts of the West of the country, but that is usually to do with the brand of fairy story to believe in. Education is the key and as for the usual bigotted views on Scottish education I suggest you go and educate yourself and stop believing the tales in your tabloid.