I live in a secret volcano base

Nitefly

Nitefly

Nitefly

Man of Honour
Joined
24 Sep 2005
Posts
37,637
I returned to my parent's home in Oxfordshire this Christmas to celebrate the festive season. There was no snow on the driveway. In fact, it oddly resembled fresh igneous rock. Shaking it off as an odd coincidence, I walked inside and found out we now had a new decor of brimstone, which I was only distracted from by the warm aroma of freshly baked mince pies mixed with poisonous sulpher.

I'm now sitting naked looking like Ace Ventura in his mechanical rhino, raising my feet of the floor to avoid the magma circling below.

In other words, what the hell is it with parents / old people and putting on the heating up to 5 million degrees? It is rediculously warm in here, so much so that I had to open the window and take my t-shirt off when I made the effort to answer the phone.

Is anyone else suffering the same fate? Am I doomed to resemble a charred pile of flesh on the carpet? I dread how hot things are going to get when the cooking gets underway :eek:
 
Has to ignore the rest of your statement after this sentence.

"I'm now sitting naked looking the Ace Ventura in his mechanical rhino"

I think you missed 'like', but even still....

/shudders.

Quite an open relationship with your parents is it?

:p :D
 
Sorry to say brother but, it's a hint...

'Maybe if we turn the heating up to ungodly levels the little (insert slur here) will bugger off...'
 
I hate this. My school is always ridiculously hot in winter - much hotter than it is in summer. Luckily my grandparents are too environmentally friendly/financially aware to put the heating up too high, and they have these marvellous things called woolly jumpers which mean they don't have to put the heating on too high. Unfortunately, my mum has these too, but still puts the heating on, and still complains about it being cold.
 
Find a foot stool, stick your feet up, unbutton and unzip your pants, stick your hand in your pants and reassuringly cup your man tackle and get **** drunk. Sweat profusely the drunker you get allowing the heat to boil the alcohol inside you further enhancing the drunkeness, get obnoxious, rude and bordering on the "will he won't he snap" side of aggressive, go upstairs for a **** and when the temperature changes and the cold suddenly hits you, keel over from the toilet door, crash into the sink, ricochet off the toilet and then vomit on yourself.

Never get asked around for Christmas again and don't have to worry about being a bit too warm again.
 
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