ITT you post advice to improve the lives of the OcUK collective

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Tru

Tru

Tru

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OcUK Peoples Champion
We've all got life experience, some more than others, so share it here for the benefit of the community. No aspect of life should go untipped. Onwards...


Shaving Should be done in the shower. The steam opens your pores and the washing softens your hair, which means no cuts and less shaving. To prevent your mirror steaming up, wipe it with a soapy hand then rinse.


Snooker Eat your Pork Scratchings with your cueing hand, thus preventing greasy marks on the baize.


Old Mobile Phones Turn them into cash or Argos vouchers here


Love and Sex When you break up with the love of your life, delete her/his number from your mobile. Keep a note of it somewhere, by all means, but you don't want to have it on you when you're steaming drunk and feeling lonely at 2am on Sunday.


Jokes on Forums If you don't get it, don't post, 'I don't get it', wait for another thicko to do it instead.
 
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Tru said:
Love and Sex When you break up with the love of your life, delete her/his number from your mobile. Keep a note of it somewhere, by all means, but you don't want to have it on you when you're steaming drunk and feeling lonely at 2am on Sunday.
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Always done that, I think by the time Ive composed a text and fished out the number, I would have come to my senses :)
 
Tru said:
Jokes on Forums If you don't get it, don't post, 'I don't get it', wait for another thicko to do it instead.
Click to expand...

And don't post a stupid :/ face in the largest font possible after a "joke" you disapprove of
 
When crossing the road in the UK, look RIGHT then LEFT before stepping out

Looking LEFT first while stepping out leads to being smacked over bonnet of car coming from (strangely enough) the RIGHT. Not advisable!
 
Funny links/games etc. If you find one of these you should assume that it has probably already been posted on OcUK and only post it if you're 100% certain that this isn't the case. Before posting search THOROUGHLY to prevent reposting. Note that searching for the URL alone will not find duplicate threads as the search function doesn't look at URLS. Instead try searching for the kind of words that are likely to be used in th athread about whatever you are thinking about posting.
 
If you don't know the answer - The response is NOT "Take off and Nuke it from orbit" or "Burn it with fire"

Yellow Snow - Just dont eat it
 
Trends / Flavours of the month

If someone sets a trend, or you see evidence of one, don't be afraid to question its merits! As they are not all clever, funny or cool.
 
Pictures Only post a picture of yourself if you really have to, otherwise Tru will Photoshop you into a compromising position.

High-FIVE High-FIVE as many girls as possible on a night out, it's bound to work on one of them.

Groin-FIVE If High-FIVING is unsuccessful, attempt groin-FIVING.

 
A) Trust your instincts If you dont trust yourself, then you'll come to a stand still.

B) Trust those closest to you To tell you when you're being a tool/nob/pleb as a result of a)
 
OK, lots of tips for the forum, what does that tell us about your life? :|
 
I'd sell someone my life, its highly enjoyable. Its just that a lesser man wouldn't survive a week :(
 
Sammiches ALWAYS flip one slice before applying butter or butter substitute, this ensures the sides of your sammich match up perfectly.
 
Meet an Arabic looking chap in the street and are thinking of giving him back the £20 note he just dropped?
Keep it, but do point out the cliché to him.
 
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