Ive got a bulimic friend

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Soldato
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Well we used to be best friends about a year and a half a go until she got bulimic, i did every thing i could to stop her and help her but she just ended up getting angry at me and basicly told me to bugger off.
Now a year and a half later shes still got it, she looks skinny and pale and really sickly, but ive jkust found out she hasnt had a period in 5 months :eek:
Shes even stopped looking and talking about guys so im guessing her hormoans have shut off.
Shes 17 at the moment.
Can not having a period for such a long time mess up her hormoan prduction in the furure and when having kids?
What are the other risks with this aswell :(
 
If I was you I would talk to her parents, even if she explicitly told you not to

It’s better she’s recovering and hating you then continuing to slowly starve herself to death.

Just hope it’s not got to the stage where she passes out yet.
 
Phantom said:
are her parents/legal guardians oblivious to it?
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I think they are oblivious to it.
I dont know how they are they, shes lost heaps of weight and her hair has gone really thin.
I havnt seen her in awhile so shes probably worse since i last saw her.
I get updates from another friend of hers.
I dont think shes passing out yet though.
 
You have to understand that likely she has some crippling self-esteem issues. The unforunate problem is that stopping someone stuffing themselves into the incinerator is one of the hardest things to do ever.

She has to realise that her current path is worse than anything else she is hiding from in her Bulimia.

Do not chastise her. I'd imagine that she feels bad enough already.

Understand that her Bulimia is a symptom and not a problem, so it might be worth trying to introduce something positive into her life without addressing the bulimia directly.
 
cant give you advice but this might help you understand your friends condition and possible reasons: http://www.gurze.net/site12_5_00/whybulimia.htm

you cant force her to get treatment (her parents can). it will be made all the worse because she wont think she has a problem.

cleanbluesky said:
Understand that her Bulimia is a symptom and not a problem, so it might be worth trying to introduce something positive into her life without addressing the bulimia directly.
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agreed
 
i have been acting as a bulimic and maybe i was one tha last year. The reasons were psychological , loss of self confidence and other factors drove me to this.

I just felt through the pleasure of food a relief, horible it was. Your friend needs to shake her life and change or get rid of what makes her feel bad.
 
cleanbluesky said:
You have to understand that likely she has some crippling self-esteem issues. The unforunate problem is that stopping someone stuffing themselves into the incinerator is one of the hardest things to do ever.

She has to realise that her current path is worse than anything else she is hiding from in her Bulimia.

Do not chastise her. I'd imagine that she feels bad enough already.

Understand that her Bulimia is a symptom and not a problem, so it might be worth trying to introduce something positive into her life without addressing the bulimia directly.
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We have all been nice to her.
She was always comented on by how hot she looks and how jelouse she made the other girls.
She has no reason to have a low self esteem.
Shes had lots of positive thru out the time and before she wass like it aswell.

i dont talk to her anymore but my other friend is getting anoyed and concerned about it
 
Zip said:
We have all been nice to her.
She was always comented on by how hot she looks and how jelouse she made the other girls.
She has no reason to have a low self esteem.
Shes had lots of positive thru out the time and before she wass like it aswell.

i dont talk to her anymore but my other friend is getting anoyed and concerned about it
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An important thing to remember is that none of your are directly responsible for it, no matter how frustrating it may be - therefore getting angry will only make things worse.
It is hard to let go in a situation but the only person who can save this friend of your is in fact herself.

Sounds like she needs to go visit her doctor, if she hasn't already
 
cleanbluesky said:
An important thing to remember is that none of your are directly responsible for it, no matter how frustrating it may be - therefore getting angry will only make things worse.
It is hard to let go in a situation but the only person who can save this friend of your is in fact herself.

Sounds like she needs to go visit her doctor, if she hasn't already
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Well in that case i think she could be doomed.
She wont listen to anyone, not even her own body.
I got angry at her a few time in the past but not much really and thats when she was just being really stupid.
Most peopel that knopw about it have given up.
What can come of this? Expecially now that her hormoans are messed up?
 
Zip said:
She has no reason to have a low self esteem.
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Unfortuntely, regardless of how often we compliment someone, its not up to us to determine whether they have reason to have low esteem... There's probably a lot more to it than you already know.
 
Zip said:
What can come of this? Expecially now that her hormoans are messed up?
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Lucky you are asking for psychological advice rather than mediacl advice because that would get the thread close BTW...

Likely a long and slow psychological recovery. I would say she needs to go to a doctor and most likely a psychotherapist as well... which is co-incidentally what I hope to become.
 
cleanbluesky said:
Lucky you are asking for psychological advice rather than mediacl advice because that would get the thread close BTW...

Likely a long and slow psychological recovery. I would say she needs to go to a doctor and most likely a psychotherapist as well... which is co-incidentally what I hope to become.
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So what should i do? Get my friend to tell her parents or the School counciler?
 
IIRC this sounds more like anorexia due to weight loss, thin hair (lanugo), loss of sexual interest periods..etc. I think bulimia involves the purging/vomiting but their weight stays normal. [You can have anorexia with bulimia i think]

Unfortunately people can have low self-esteem from several sources apart from friends, such as family, something someone she didnt know said about her, or she may have a perfect view of the way she should look/be..etc (which is constantly changing and never achievable). There are loads of possibilities.

Try to support her and see if oyu can encourage her to get help

[hope this isnt too medical and i havent given any advice apart from get professional help....]
 
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Very little you can do I'm afraid, she will have to sort herself out (by that I mean realize she has self esteem, either do something like take up hobby or nothing she can do about it but at least eat normally. Does she have friends and good social life? Boyfriend?

I suffer from depression btw but I wouldn't under-eat (or over eat although I do like my food :p but at least not overweight) it's not like you just by being thin suddently have a new happy life, but those in the situation think it will fix it. Vicious circle really...as the person gets thinner/overweight basically gets further depressed and eats less/more...and so on.
 
squiffy said:
Very little you can do I'm afraid, she will have to sort herself out (by that I mean realize she has self esteem, either do something like take up hobby or nothing she can do about it but at least eat normally. Does she have friends and good social life? Boyfriend?

I suffer from depression btw but I wouldn't under-eat (or over eat although I do like my food :p but at least not overweight) it's not like you just by being thin suddently have a new happy life, but those in the situation think it will fix it. Vicious circle really...as the person gets thinner/overweight basically gets further depressed and eats less/more...and so on.
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She has more of a social life then me and my friend have.
Shes had boyfriends with in that time aswell.

Its not anorexia, she makes herself throw her food back up just after she eats it or when she can get away and do it
 
squiffy said:
Is she image consenous? ie wants to look like a celeb/kate moss?
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She always used to complain how fat she was(size 10 :rolleyes: )
She was like "look at my fat arms" "Look at my stomache"
Even though she wasnt fat at all(size 10 like i said before)
 
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