Joke Time.

Soldato
Joined
21 Apr 2006
Posts
4,509
Location
UK, Lincolnshire, Lincoln
Hey guys this is my first joke thread i think.

Anyway this is the joke i have for you. :)

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Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.

The girl came up to him and asked,

"What do you have under the newspaper?"

"A bird," the guy replied.

The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the police asked him what happened, the guy replied,

"I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this little girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."

The police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her, "What did you do to that naked fellow?"

After a pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."

Moral of the story........................ never lie to kids.
 
May I be the first, hopefully of many, so join in lads and ladies...

fail2it9.jpg
 
Two guys are standing on the observation platform of the Empire State building. One guy says "you want to see something incredible?"

"Sure" says the other guy.

So the guy jumps and starts falling...only to suddenly change direction and slowly rise to the platform again. The second guy says "that's amazing! How'd you do that?"

"I didn't do anything" the first guy says, "the winds are so strong today it's creating an updraught. Try it"...

"I don't know..." says the guy.

"Don't be a chicken, it's perfectly safe."

So after thinking about it the guy jumps...and falls screaming to his death.

Batman walks over and says "You know, Superman, you can be a real idiot sometimes."
 
Two guys are standing on the observation platform of the Empire State building. One guy says "you want to see something incredible?"

"Sure" says the other guy.

So the guy jumps and starts falling...only to suddenly change direction and slowly rise to the platform again. The second guy says "that's amazing! How'd you do that?"

"I didn't do anything" the first guy says, "the winds are so strong today it's creating an updraught. Try it"...

"I don't know..." says the guy.

"Don't be a chicken, it's perfectly safe."

So after thinking about it the guy jumps...and falls screaming to his death.

Batman walks over and says "You know, Superman, you can be a real idiot sometimes."

Isn't that from Family Guy?
 
first joke: lol

second joke: thats been kicking around for at least fifteen years, but retrospective lol


what did the snail say whilst sitting on the tortoises back?














yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
 
No matter how bad the jokes threads are, they are always light hearted to read, that said, please dont make anymore!
 
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