Wow... Could she be any more heartless? I too find it interesting (in a strange way) how a wife can seemingly just flip and come out with such a cold response.
Sounds like you're doing ok though so keep at it and enjoy the par-tay
Lads - this happened to you? Wife of 5yrs fallen out of love
- Thread starter KatanaDV20
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Wow... Could she be any more heartless? I too find it interesting (in a strange way) how a wife can seemingly just flip and come out with such a cold response.
Sounds like you're doing ok though so keep at it and enjoy the par-tay
Wow... Could she be any more heartless? I too find it interesting (in a strange way) how a wife can seemingly just flip and come out with such a cold response.
Sounds like you're doing ok though so keep at it and enjoy the par-tay
Whilst it may be heartless, in a way and maybe the positive one, she's made it clear and not stringing the OP along. Granted I'm not in his situation, but trust me, I've been on the receiving end of "maybe..., I'm not sure..., I still have feelings for you but it's complicated, etc" and it's cruel. It gives you (unnecessary?) hope there can be a reconciliation.
Soldato
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Sad to hear.
Did she not tell you that she didn't like the way you were behaving much earlier with you not wanting to go out and the staying in and gaming etc?
5 years is quite a long time to be with someone and not give even a hint that they do not like how things currently are, I find that slightly troubling and feel that there is something wrong with a person that can't tell much earlier before things come to a head that something is seriously bothering them.
She never sat down with you and gave a hint that she isn't happy with how things are before she called it a day?
I find it strange of her not to do that.
Did she not tell you that she didn't like the way you were behaving much earlier with you not wanting to go out and the staying in and gaming etc?
5 years is quite a long time to be with someone and not give even a hint that they do not like how things currently are, I find that slightly troubling and feel that there is something wrong with a person that can't tell much earlier before things come to a head that something is seriously bothering them.
She never sat down with you and gave a hint that she isn't happy with how things are before she called it a day?
I find it strange of her not to do that.
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Oh I quite agree that it's preferable than stringing him along... But for godsake, this guy was her husband. Surely a response along the lines of:
"Ok, I can't help how you feel. But I really think this is for the best and I'm not going to change my mind."
Is a damn sight better than...
"I FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN!!!!
"
Seriously, **** her, she sounds like she's a right front bum,
If she can say that to you, she's basically trying to rub your face in it. Her loss, not yours! Think of it as a chance to be different and make sure you don't make the same mistake again, but also a chance to find someone who isn't a ****.
If she can say that to you, she's basically trying to rub your face in it. Her loss, not yours! Think of it as a chance to be different and make sure you don't make the same mistake again, but also a chance to find someone who isn't a ****.
@ Reppyboyo, deleted, Angilion - thanx for the words
I hope no-one else on this thread has to go through this, as Ive said many times before one of the reasons I started this thread was so that it would help others on here who might recognize the signals before it was too late for their relationship. I can see that some people have already sat up and taken note. Just seeing that means that all thats happenin here isnt in vain if it can help in a small way to keep another relationship goin
To be honest this man deserves a medal, I have a lot of respect for you and they way you have handled yourself throughout all these posts. Try not to beat yourself up about if buts and maybes buddy relationships require two people to operate, it seems the breakdown of communication was with her. Its a hard pill to swallow but eventually you will get through to the other side.
One piece of advice i would give you is venting on here is great you have a hell of a lot of different opinions. But you really need a friend to just be by your side and help you to get through this. Every now and again it will just hit you that this is real and it does knock you back. Everyday however you will get a step further towards the other side. Hopefully you will post a similar thread in the future telling us how your coping etc. Keep your chin up.
By the way i can empathise with completly as my Mum and Dad are at this moment going through a divorce. Despite been 20 allmost 21 its still deeply upsetting to see how people are affected.
4play
This is a blessing in disguise, sounds like she needs to get her priorities straight and stop being a moany ****.
Its clear she is trying to move on and so should you.The only reason she would take her wedding ring off was so men would be interested in her again.
Dont even think about her twice and worry about her she isnt worth at all imo!
goodluck
Its clear she is trying to move on and so should you.The only reason she would take her wedding ring off was so men would be interested in her again.
Dont even think about her twice and worry about her she isnt worth at all imo!
goodluck
Well my girlfriend hardly spoken to me for a week and says she dont think she loves me. I told her i can't be dealing with her not trying to talk and ignoring me for another week and either try to work at it, or collect her stuff tommorow and to think about it before throwing away 2 years.
Didn't want to do that at all but oh well.
And i love her man
Didn't want to do that at all but oh well.
And i love her man
Soldato
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Like most have said it sounds like she is getting what she needs else where. This may not be sexual but certainly sounds like she is prettying herself up for someone.
Life is short my friend, if she doesnt feel the same way as she did then it is better that it comes out early. You deserve better yourself if she does not feel anything for you anymore. Life is short dont waste it on someone that doesnt return your love.
Take some time out for yourself and enjoy yourself. Best of luck!
Life is short my friend, if she doesnt feel the same way as she did then it is better that it comes out early. You deserve better yourself if she does not feel anything for you anymore. Life is short dont waste it on someone that doesnt return your love.
Take some time out for yourself and enjoy yourself. Best of luck!
Associate
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- Peterborough
Well my girlfriend hardly spoken to me for a week and says she dont think she loves me. I told her i can't be dealing with her not trying to talk and ignoring me for another week and either try to work at it, or collect her stuff tommorow and to think about it before throwing away 2 years.
Didn't want to do that at all but oh well.
And i love her man
i'm sorry to hear that man, i hope it works out for ya, chin up dude. To be honest i think you did the right thing in dealing with it early by giving her the choice of try to make it work or out.
On a separate note i have been keeping an eye on this thread for a while now and i've got to say i really do feel for you OP. Must be really heart wrenching to go through what you're going through. However you can take pride on the fact you may of helped a fair few people out there by posting this thread (including me.... i'll explain further down this post)
It seems you're dealing with this remarkably well given the circumstances and i must comment you for that. I've seen people fall apart (alcohol abuse etc) when relationships of 2 years go down the pan. so well done in dealing with it. I imagine some very serious lessons have been learnt here to.
As for the harsh comments of your wife i think this could be interpreted two ways. The first being the one that has been mentioned already or perhaps there being somebody else. Or the other which could be this is just her method of dealing with it and sticking to her decision. I find it hard to believe she has no feeling for you what so ever. She has probably decided she wants it over and so she doesn't have to deal with any attempts to try and "make it work again" has adopted this rather heartless attitude of putting you straight down whenever you attempt to make things right.
As for me i can't say i was in your situation however this thread has made me re-evaluate my last break up. Me and my ex are going to give it another go.
You can be happy in the knowledge you have had a very positive impact on a few lives with your story. Best of luck for the future mate, you deserve a little happiness.
Well yeah think it might be it.She's stil being hostile, she wants to get her stuff next week but i told her she wants out of my life without trying then i want it gone today. She lives 45 miles away so maybe im being a bit harsh. i dunno.
I'm no expert and no idea on the situation but do reconsider things said in the heat of a discussion. It's easy to say you can't deal with things right now and she has to make an immediate decision but in the long run if she does leave, no doubt you will start thinking "What if I had been a bit more patient, maybe she would have reconsidered."
Maybe I'm wrong but I do think sometimes you do have to bite your lip.
Then again, I've always been the quiet/trying to understand/compromise/give them freedom (doormat?) type rather than shout sense at the other half. It might just push them away even more, unless they like an authoritative boyfriend.
Yeah i text her again saying lets try (done that all week). We were supposed to be goin go to london in march for our 2 year, it's all booked so i said why dont we wait and go away and try to put some spark back in, instead of not trying. No reply. I'll leave her with that :/
Hi.
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 years about 9 months ago. The things you are describing sound amazingly similar to what happened with me, although I of course appreciate you were with her longer and also married. But yes, out of the blue my girlfriend broke off with me. I didn't see it coming. Yes we had some problems, and we'd had 1-2 breaks from each other before, but despite this I thought we were both genuinely in love and that, in the month or two before our break-up, things had been much better.
Just as with you, she told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me any longer.. she also told me I didn't pay her enough attention, we didn't do enough together and that she'd been trying to show me for a long long time. There was definitely no one else in the picture, I am 100% sure of that. I was devastated and blamed myself entirely, and started thinking about all the things I could have done differently, and I basically placed her on a pedestal. Big mistake.
I was a wreck for a long time, and only recently do I feel myself again. To be honest I wouldn't yet say I am COMPLETELY over it.. although I can now talk to the girl and see her without all those horrible feelings and thoughts, which is a massive step. But yeah, like I said, I blamed myself entirely but now I've had time, I've gained perspective and while I do still think that more of the blame lies on my side, I realise she played her part in it too and that it wasn't all my fault.
Going back to my pedestal comment.. in the months after our break-up she was all I could think of, and I was sure she was the one and I did everything to get back with her and at times, unfortunately, I ended up embarrassing myself a long the way and losing pride. Now I realise that she is just a girl, and she wasn't right for me. The break-up was right, even though at the time I was adamant it wasn't. The way I see it is this.. some people make effort in relationship just by nature, even if they don't believe the girl really is the one. Other's, and I confess I am in this catagory, are naturally lazy and often take the girl for granted. However, I firmly believe that it doesn't matter what type of person you are, if the girl is right, the effort comes naturally, so much so that it's incorrect to call it 'effort' because it isn't any. It's something you want to do. You won't find yourself sitting up late in to the night playing COD while she's in bed because you'd just rather be with her.
Anyway mate.. trust me, in time you'll look back at this thread and smile. You'll smile because it happened and you'll see why it did and you'll be glad. I promise you that.
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 years about 9 months ago. The things you are describing sound amazingly similar to what happened with me, although I of course appreciate you were with her longer and also married. But yes, out of the blue my girlfriend broke off with me. I didn't see it coming. Yes we had some problems, and we'd had 1-2 breaks from each other before, but despite this I thought we were both genuinely in love and that, in the month or two before our break-up, things had been much better.
Just as with you, she told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me any longer.. she also told me I didn't pay her enough attention, we didn't do enough together and that she'd been trying to show me for a long long time. There was definitely no one else in the picture, I am 100% sure of that. I was devastated and blamed myself entirely, and started thinking about all the things I could have done differently, and I basically placed her on a pedestal. Big mistake.
I was a wreck for a long time, and only recently do I feel myself again. To be honest I wouldn't yet say I am COMPLETELY over it.. although I can now talk to the girl and see her without all those horrible feelings and thoughts, which is a massive step. But yeah, like I said, I blamed myself entirely but now I've had time, I've gained perspective and while I do still think that more of the blame lies on my side, I realise she played her part in it too and that it wasn't all my fault.
Going back to my pedestal comment.. in the months after our break-up she was all I could think of, and I was sure she was the one and I did everything to get back with her and at times, unfortunately, I ended up embarrassing myself a long the way and losing pride. Now I realise that she is just a girl, and she wasn't right for me. The break-up was right, even though at the time I was adamant it wasn't. The way I see it is this.. some people make effort in relationship just by nature, even if they don't believe the girl really is the one. Other's, and I confess I am in this catagory, are naturally lazy and often take the girl for granted. However, I firmly believe that it doesn't matter what type of person you are, if the girl is right, the effort comes naturally, so much so that it's incorrect to call it 'effort' because it isn't any. It's something you want to do. You won't find yourself sitting up late in to the night playing COD while she's in bed because you'd just rather be with her.
Anyway mate.. trust me, in time you'll look back at this thread and smile. You'll smile because it happened and you'll see why it did and you'll be glad. I promise you that.
Nice honest post dude. I dunno, i hope she just gives me the chance to do things better rather than ending it. It's at that point where i'm about to lose her and i know what i would need to do if she decided to try and work at it.
Maybe it would last, maybe it won't but at least i would have tried if she does give it a go :/
This.
and its non of our business but are you the bread winner of the two of you ? Or rich, big inheritance or anything ?
That is seriously harsh news and I can only imagine how painful that news is mate. I am about to get married this year and this is a stromng reminder to listen to my Mrs and keep the relationship fresh. I think it is a bit harsh of your Mrs not to have sat you down before now and discussed how she is feeling!
Chin up!
Chin up!
Soldato
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- 1 Dec 2003
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sorry to hear about that. its a horrible feeling and situation to be in
if its really over try not to kid yourself into thinking yous will get back together again. i dont mean that to sound harsh but its something us men do. women can move on so much easier. try and move on and think positive, you will meet someone else. this was not meant to be.
sounds like you have the right attitude already from your posts
if its really over try not to kid yourself into thinking yous will get back together again. i dont mean that to sound harsh but its something us men do. women can move on so much easier. try and move on and think positive, you will meet someone else. this was not meant to be.
sounds like you have the right attitude already from your posts
This is a great post!..such truth be told, mine told me about 6 months ago that I was too nice ! BS, there was no one else, but she fell out of love, and I was left with every feeling possible, for 2 months after, I tried everything but in the end it just left me feeing embarrassed and even more sad, I felt like I didnt want to be here, we spent days argueing....everyday I found myself thinking of her, putting her on the pedestal carrying a torch for her, couldnt see myself finding another girl, I cut contact for 4 months, and I was starting to feel a lot better, not thinking about her everyday. Untill she started sending me emails
This had a bit of an affect on me, I ignored 2 emails and just tried to brush it under the carpet, untill a 3rd one came through a couple of weeks ago to which I replied too...all my friends said to just ignore it, that youd might as well twist your balls and hit them with a hammer to save the same pain (this was true as I found out) ... get on with your life and basically tell her where to go without telling her, but I thought what if, I dont want to be regretting things, so I replied and we got talking again, only for her to mess me around and try play mind games for no reason, made me feel as bad...So these past 2 weeks Its brought a lot back and well truthfully, I find myself in that simalar predicament I was in 4-6 months ago I love her, but im finding myself hating her a bit, which can only be a good sign, Its going to take months I know but hopefully one day, Ill meet someone who is as caring as Id like to think I was. Music helps me a lot, it doesnt really stop me thinking of her again but it helps. anyone in simalar situation, just keep your head up and learn to think of the bad things about her, some people just arnt worth wasting your time or life over, not worth chasing someone who doesnt appreciate you.one last thing
...The *****
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