Let's hear some funny jokes!

georges said:
Elton John walks into a tattoo parlour and says, "I'd like a rolls royce tattooed on my penis".


The tatooist says, "you'd be better off with a Land Rover with all the **** you go through".
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Noooo :( :p


Ronaldo goes to Burger King and asks for 2 Whoppers, the cashier says you're a good footballer and you're not fat.

:p
 
A bear and a rabbit are having a crap in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and enquires "do you have any trouble with poo sticking to your fur?" "No not really" says the rabbit.


So the bear wiped his arse with the rabbit.
 
Two egg's in a frying pan

Egg 1: "It's hot in here"

Egg 2: "Ahh! A talking egg!"






Yeah... this is my only appropriate joke :rolleyes:
 
naz said:
1)
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!

"The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
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LOL he thought he was going on holiday but she was telling him to get lost!
 
vintage-x said:
Two sperm swimming side by side. One asks the other "How far till we reach the overies?"
The other says "Miles mate , we`ve only just passed the tonsils"
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right i'm going to be pedantic here. how does mr sperm know that? you're making it sound like it's not the first time he's made that journey..... :p
 
Little Johny goes over to little Billy's house and rings the bell. His mother answers and Johny asks if Billy can come and play war in the street with his friends. Billy's mother says to Johny "you know Billy doesn't have any arms or legs". Johny replies "I know, but we want to use him as a sandbag".
 
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