Little Rant - need to bwaap bwaap a Seagul Chick

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Hi,

I have a problem a seagul has kindly nested on our roof and has spawned the Pterodactyl of satan that the parents feel they need to protect. The roof is a good few metres up but the seaguls seem to think I am going to want to climb the roof and taunt it and I am on the verge of doing so.

The Pterodactyl of satan is not exactly the problem but will be taking the brunt of the situation, its the dam overly protective parents giving me jip.

Opening the front door every morning and the sods bomb dive me, even flailing their last meal at me, the white splodge variety.

-They have repainted my car a nice mottled white, its looking very 1990s.

-They bomb dive the neighbours kids and now both our cars look very much identical.

-3 times now I've had to go in and change and seagul crap hangs in the air a fair while

-The roof is a mess, looks like yogurt everywhere.

Its come to the point where I am thinking of asking a friend of mine or paying some local ****** to put a cap in its head.

Legally the brown spawn of satan is vermin, I've been hoping the Pterodactyl would grow up quick but the last straw was last night when I was pegging some clothes out.
 
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Before all the silly replies saying Nuke it from orbit and so on, can I suggest you climb up there and have a little chat with them? Try and sort it out verbally before you do anything silly.
 
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anewbe4u said:
Before all the silly replies saying Nuke it from orbit and so on, can I suggest you climb up there and have a little chat with them? Try and sort it out verbally before you do anything silly.

If you have an email for Dr Doolittle then sure I think I saw one with a IPAQ surfing Hotbirds4u.com or something, I was going to ask Elrazur as hes good with birds but hes been permabanned.

I did give offer it an offer it couldn't refuse and the response was two table spoons of yogurt substance down my windows, which I interpretted as a no so its come to this thread.
 
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buy some chips, coat with rat poison, leave in garden, win.

bonus points if the neighbours kids end up as collateral.

*n
 
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ManCuBuS said:
A 2.2 pellet is probably the answer to all your woes. Get them all blown into oblivion.

A pest controller will also be able to help.

Shooting it is a privelage for someone, paying them to do it is a last resort. Maybe some bartering techniques will work with the ****** they seem fairly friendly as long as its not for a caravan for his ma.
 
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you don't like sea gulls? thank god you dont live here then! we have about 10 on our roof in the morning all sqwarking and doing that stupid seagull call. unfortunately we cant kill them here, as they are considered one of the queens birds or something, so we'd get done for it. best thing for it though, is probably some sort of pellet/bb gun. the old girl says if i shoot them she'll kick me out though so i havent tried it yet. :(
 
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-Tauren- said:
you don't like sea gulls? thank god you dont live here then! we have about 10 on our roof in the morning all sqwarking and doing that stupid seagull call. unfortunately we cant kill them here, as they are considered one of the queens birds or something, so we'd get done for it. best thing for it though, is probably some sort of pellet/bb gun. the old girl says if i shoot them she'll kick me out though so i havent tried it yet. :(

Can't you use the "they've gone to live on a farm" line?
 
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SunaseIPs said:
Will bicarb and bread work on the original primary target?

God knows...

In the old country we would either shoot them or poison them.

At least with my way, you get to maybe take out some kids too.

*n
 
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penski said:
God knows...

In the old country we would either shoot them or poison them.

At least with my way, you get to maybe take out some kids too.

*n

You take kids out :confused: What line do you use Sweets or the Puppy route?
 
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