Little Rant - need to bwaap bwaap a Seagul Chick

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:10

Hi,

I have a problem a seagul has kindly nested on our roof and has spawned the Pterodactyl of satan that the parents feel they need to protect. The roof is a good few metres up but the seaguls seem to think I am going to want to climb the roof and taunt it and I am on the verge of doing so.

The Pterodactyl of satan is not exactly the problem but will be taking the brunt of the situation, its the dam overly protective parents giving me jip.

Opening the front door every morning and the sods bomb dive me, even flailing their last meal at me, the white splodge variety.

-They have repainted my car a nice mottled white, its looking very 1990s.

-They bomb dive the neighbours kids and now both our cars look very much identical.

-3 times now I've had to go in and change and seagul crap hangs in the air a fair while

-The roof is a mess, looks like yogurt everywhere.

Its come to the point where I am thinking of asking a friend of mine or paying some local ****** to put a cap in its head.

Legally the brown spawn of satan is vermin, I've been hoping the Pterodactyl would grow up quick but the last straw was last night when I was pegging some clothes out.

Anewbe4u · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:13

Before all the silly replies saying Nuke it from orbit and so on, can I suggest you climb up there and have a little chat with them? Try and sort it out verbally before you do anything silly.

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:15

anewbe4u said:
Before all the silly replies saying Nuke it from orbit and so on, can I suggest you climb up there and have a little chat with them? Try and sort it out verbally before you do anything silly.

If you have an email for Dr Doolittle then sure I think I saw one with a IPAQ surfing Hotbirds4u.com or something, I was going to ask Elrazur as hes good with birds but hes been permabanned.

I did give offer it an offer it couldn't refuse and the response was two table spoons of yogurt substance down my windows, which I interpretted as a no so its come to this thread.

Anewbe4u · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:20

I'd keep checking out this website

How to kill birds

penski · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:23

buy some chips, coat with rat poison, leave in garden, win.

bonus points if the neighbours kids end up as collateral.

*n

Anewbe4u · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:24

The garden will become a graveyard of animals.

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:24

anewbe4u said:
I'd keep checking out this website

How to kill birds

I might resort to getting someone to shoot it then putting those nail things around the chimney stack, hopefully to impail the whole family.

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:25

penski said:
buy some chips, coat with rat poison, leave in gardin, win.

bonus points if the neighbours kids end up as collateral.

*n

Will bicarb and bread work on the original primary target?

Columbo · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:26

A 2.2 pellet is probably the answer to all your woes. Get them all blown into oblivion.

A pest controller will also be able to help.

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:28

ManCuBuS said:
A 2.2 pellet is probably the answer to all your woes. Get them all blown into oblivion.

A pest controller will also be able to help.

Shooting it is a privelage for someone, paying them to do it is a last resort. Maybe some bartering techniques will work with the ****** they seem fairly friendly as long as its not for a caravan for his ma.

Mobius 1 · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:37

you don't like sea gulls? thank god you dont live here then! we have about 10 on our roof in the morning all sqwarking and doing that stupid seagull call. unfortunately we cant kill them here, as they are considered one of the queens birds or something, so we'd get done for it. best thing for it though, is probably some sort of pellet/bb gun. the old girl says if i shoot them she'll kick me out though so i havent tried it yet.

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:47

-Tauren- said:
you don't like sea gulls? thank god you dont live here then! we have about 10 on our roof in the morning all sqwarking and doing that stupid seagull call. unfortunately we cant kill them here, as they are considered one of the queens birds or something, so we'd get done for it. best thing for it though, is probably some sort of pellet/bb gun. the old girl says if i shoot them she'll kick me out though so i havent tried it yet.

Can't you use the "they've gone to live on a farm" line?

penski · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:49

SunaseIPs said:
Will bicarb and bread work on the original primary target?

God knows...

In the old country we would either shoot them or poison them.

At least with my way, you get to maybe take out some kids too.

*n

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:51

penski said:
God knows...

In the old country we would either shoot them or poison them.

At least with my way, you get to maybe take out some kids too.

*n

You take kids out :confused:

What line do you use Sweets or the Puppy route?

penski · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:57

"Hey, little girl...do you want to come see some puppies...?"

*n

SunaseIPs · 5 Jul 2007 at 08:58

penski said:
"Hey, little girl...do you want to come see some Seaguls...?"

*n

Fixed for my current situation.

penski · 5 Jul 2007 at 09:38

SunaseIPs said:
Fixed for my current situation.

You could be on to something there...

*n

Deluxe1 · 5 Jul 2007 at 09:44

Contact the local authorities they`ll sort the problem out for you.

malccy · 5 Jul 2007 at 09:45

Get hold of local council; some have departments that can deal with this kind of problem.

PsiFox · 5 Jul 2007 at 09:48

-3 times now I've had to go in and change and seagul crap hangs in the air a fair while

May I suggest you contact the Steorn people.

http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17749712

You obviously have a highly advanced seagull that has developed a form of anti mavity using free energy.