#MeToo - is it just different for men and women?

[Craterloads]

Been going around a few weeks now since the Harvey Weinstein scandal and obviously many of the people using the hashtag are genuine victims and should be taken seriously.

With that said my issue is with, what I can only describe as bandwagon jumpers, some of the stories to me just sound like mundane **** not even worth talking about with spiced up with terms like groped, and sexual assault which can lead to ruining people’s lives in some cases needlessly.

Some of the stories I’ve read in simple English read “someone slapped my ass 15 years ago”

Now 15 or so years ago in school I had a girl pinch my behind whilst we were waiting in a queue, she wasn’t particularly attractive nor did I invite any such behaviour. It was a bit odd at most but kind of enjoyed it to be honest. In fact I’ve had a few bottom pinchers in my time (I have a nice ass I guess )

I’m guessing I could well fit into the #MeToo category if I wanted to and retell the story as “I was sexually assaulted by a class mate who groped me without consent bla bla” but I didn’t care then nor do I care now. I’m guessing many blokes have had similar stuff happen to them and 99% couldn’t care either. If A woman decided tomorrow at work to grab a feel I don’t think I would be particularly upset, I wouldn’t be using hashtags, I would probably be a little pleased with myself #StillGotIt

So question, simply put, is it just different for men and women? Should laws be applied differently?

 

[Whitewater]

I was proper groped by a girl in class, I must have been 11 or 12 at the time. It was awesome. #metoo?

 

[Zethor]

Would you have enjoyed it had you been pinched by a aprox. 50% larger weight male?

 

[explicit4u]

The attitude between men and women in those kind of circumstances have different levels of acceptance (wrongly imo). See the difference between a thread about a male student and a female teacher relationship vs the other way around. It's still sexual assault/rape or whatever you want to label it as.

In your example the difference is you seem to welcome it and have no problem (correct me if I'm wrong there). The same way something like that can happen to a woman and if she finds the guy attractive or whatever it's just a bit of playful flirting, whereas if theres no attraction there it's creepy and predatory.

 

[Craterloads]

Would you have enjoyed it had you been pinched by a aprox. 50% larger weight male?

No, but that would be someone of the same sex not the opposite sex. But I can’t really answer the question because I’m not gay (assuming the women I’m talking about are straight)

 

[Craterloads]

The attitude between men and women in those kind of circumstances have different levels of acceptance (wrongly imo). See the difference between a thread about a male student and a female teacher relationship vs the other way around. It's still sexual assault/rape or whatever you want to label it as.

In your example the difference is you seem to welcome it and have no problem (correct me if I'm wrong there). The same way something like that can happen to a woman and if she finds the guy attractive or whatever it's just a bit of playful flirting, whereas if theres no attraction there it's creepy and predatory.

Like I said the girl wasn’t particularly attractive in this case and I didn’t make any kind of inviting gestures. Was simply in a queue for class, we were on hello, bye terms at most.

 

[TallPaul1878]

I saw a post from a guy. I think he's some sort of TV guy in America and he comes across as a bit of a hard nut.

Anyway he posted #MeToo and got dogs abuse for it. He later went on to post a story about how he was sexually abused multiple times whilst a young boy and how the trauma saw him going in and out of care and having run ins with the law.

This was a guy who had some really nasty stuff done to him, far worse than an unwanted hand contact or wolf whistle and he got pilloried for it.

In terms of the law. A man who suffers sexual assault has the same protections as a woman. You would be able to secure a conviction but I would expect that a lot more evidence would be required for the police to take it seriously and for CPS to bring it to court.

 

[chroniclard]

There is a key difference in the history of women and repression vs males.

 

[LabR@t]

Would you have enjoyed it had you been pinched by a aprox. 50% larger weight male?

In this situation, how drunk am I?

 

[Jokester]

There is no excuse for the treatment male victims receive when speaking out. It’s hypocritical of people to complain about the treatment they receive when making complaints to then abuse someone else for doing the same.

 

[explicit4u]

Like I said the girl wasn’t particularly attractive in this case and I didn’t make any kind of inviting gestures. Was simply in a queue for class, we were on hello, bye terms at most.

And the key difference between you and the people talking about being sexually assaulted in the same way was that you said you enjoyed it.

 

[LabR@t]

All those drunken mistletoe kisses down the pub from random women, these were uninvited kisses. Can I claim sexual assault?

 

[TallPaul1878]

The thing with sexual assault is that it isn't necessary about sexual attraction. It's about exerting power over another human being.

Celebrities, politicians, bank managers and basically any fully grown man really has the power to overwhelm and intimidate another human being.

Power corrupts people and when you are in a position of power it is exciting to be able to wield that power. A woman just does not have that kind of power over a man.

 

[Craterloads]

I saw a post from a guy. I think he's some sort of TV guy in America and he comes across as a bit of a hard nut.

Anyway he posted #MeToo and got dogs abuse for it. He later went on to post a story about how he was sexually abused multiple times whilst a young boy and how the trauma saw him going in and out of care and having run ins with the law.

This was a guy who had some really nasty stuff done to him, far worse than an unwanted hand contact or wolf whistle and he got pilloried for it.

In terms of the law. A man who suffers sexual assault has the same protections as a woman. You would be able to secure a conviction but I would expect that a lot more evidence would be required for the police to take it seriously and for CPS to bring it to court.

Probably should have said to a certain degree, but when you put it like that yes the law should be applied equally.

 

[Chojin]

Power corrupts people and when you are in a position of power it is exciting to be able to wield that power. A woman just does not have that kind of power over a man.

There are many women in a position of power and I don't think they are exempt from abusing it. The five most powerful people in the UK are women, for example.

 

[glenimp617]

I too had my bum pinched in school. Forgot all about it till I read this thread. Got me thinking now.

 

[TallPaul1878]

When I was a student I flitted between jobs. Pushing trollies in a supermarket, working behind a bar in busy town centres, doing sales part time.

At the supermarket I had some strange experiences. On my first day training they decided I should get till training so we had to group up and I was grouped with some older girls. I was 18, these girls ranged from 24 to late 40s. When I was on the till they all turned up with their mock shopping baskets. It was all condoms, lubricant gels and lingerie. It was done specifically to embarrass me and it did because I was a pretty quiet, naïve lad at that age.

Working in bars I was regularly corralled by boozy hen parties and pinched from behind, then when I turned my head a hand would go down the front. At staff parties I've had female staff sit themselves on my knee and then make inappropriate suggestions about what was going on down my trouser. It's all just a bit of fun though. Right!!!!

I guess the difference is that the girls could never force themselves upon me and so it doesn't get seen as harrasment in the same way.

 

[Raumarik]

I don't condone what has allegedly happened but I'm worried it's now trial by media and social media we're seeing. People are being stripped of awards and dragged through the mud without any trial or guilty verdict. It's going to continue spreading too.

I hope the guilty are brought to justice but it's not great the manner in which is happening.

 

[hornetstinger]

Interesting how Rose turned down the 1 million, demanded 6 million, but only decided to pursue against weinstein when other women voiced their experience.

That 6 million says a lot...

 

[dowie]

I think legally, these days, you've got a similar amount of protection.

Socially however it seems the #metoo hashtag and current narrative is rather divisive and focused on male perpetrators/female victims. Yes some of what constitutes sexual assault/harrasment is rather minor - I wouldn't be surprised to find that most blokes have been groped, had their bum pinched/slapped and/or had unwanted sexual advances too.