Monday morning joke bashing thread

Mat

Mat

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
13,928
Just got sent this:

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the
devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the
devil.
"You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely
have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3
people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but
you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room.

In it was John Howard and a large pool of water. He kept
resurfacing over and over and over, gasping for air. Such was his fate in
hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledge-hammer and a room full of
rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time, and more rocks appeared.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented
George.

The devil opened a third door.

In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his
arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose.

Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I
can definitely handle this".

"The devil smiled and said.... "Monica, you're free to go!"

Let the bashing commence... :D
 
Caporegime
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
48,796
Location
All over the world...
Mat said:
Just got sent this:

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the
devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the
devil.
"You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely
have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3
people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but
you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room.

In it was John Howard and a large pool of water. He kept
resurfacing over and over and over, gasping for air. Such was his fate in
hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledge-hammer and a room full of
rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time, and more rocks appeared.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented
George.

The devil opened a third door.

In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his
arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose.

Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I
can definitely handle this".

"The devil smiled and said.... "Monica, you're free to go!"

Let the bashing commence... :D

Roffles:D:D...i liked that one :p
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Sep 2004
Posts
5,630
Location
Bristol
right I know I posted this before but I dont think it got a good enough airing so:

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5-Iron golf club wrapped tightly around his
throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.

We went to look for them while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball
with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

"I don't remember much after that ..."

:p
 
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