[MP3] * Please critque new song! (Ark of Boyd) harmony metal

Well done mate! You should be proud with that. Your a fantastic guitarist and that's what really carries the song for me. You asked for some critique though, so here's a few of my thoughts - I hope you take them as constructive as that's what they are meant as :)

1) IMO the intro is a too long at over 45 seconds before any vox kick in. there are plenty of opertunities you have later to show off your skills. I think it would actually be fine to come in after the guitar harmony at 22 seconds, probably just before that comes to be honest, so after 13 seconds.

2)The singer can hold the tune well, but I find his voice a little weak for this kind of song. Definately get rid of the "Yeah" at 1 min 20 as well!!

3) If you could get some real drums in there, it would really help as I get he feeling it sounds to quantisized at the moment.

These are only little things really though and not meant to detract against the quality of the song which is really well thought out and played. The mix is very good as well.
 
Hey


Yeh i can see why you say the intro is too long, but i sort of wanted that ending of a song feeling on those guitar runs, if there was like rain effects and stuff over it, and simmering cymbals i think it would be better


Lol, mixed opinions about the "yeah!" bit, i think it should be louder :P


Getting real drums is always an issue, i mean... recording them is a hassle, and finding a drummer to do it is a hassle as well :) for now drumkit from hell + fruity loops is all we got.


cheers for ** comments
 
1) Your guitar playing is amazing for the best part of that song.

2) The intro itself sounded too confused, clouded. It sounded like there were two guitarists playing over eachother witch seemed to destroy it a bit. Try making it more clean, if you follow.

Have the intro with just the lead / guitar playing rather than bass or whatever else is fighting for attention. The riff really does pick up well around 0.40mins from the intro.

3) Definately get rid of the "Yeah"

4) The singers voice doesn't really suit the style of singing. Maybe try having him singing louder, placed away from the mic.

5) Real drums! Cheesey drums = cheesey :p


Seriously good effort though dude. Try and sort out the little probs and you've got a great song.
 
Get rid of the 'yeah'. I could picture Bruce Dickinson singing this song. :)
I agree with the drummer comments mentioned above as well, to do your song justice a real drummer is needed. Brilliant guitar work by the way. :) Bass is lacking a bit though.
 
I quite like that. My main problems were with the vocals on the left channel, they sounded a bit lame at times when they went really high. Other times they were okay, they just grated occasionally. The rythm guitar bits could be a bit louder as well I think, they seem to get lost behind other bits of the mix.

I'd be tempted to try laying down a rythm guitar part and mixing that in some of the bit's where at the moment your playing a lead kind of line and then it's just bass drums and vocals. It might sound cack, but I'd be curious to hear what it would sound like. It reminds me a lot of Iron Maiden, very similar guitar tones, but just not as man of them:).
 
thanks for ** comments,


lol the "yeah!" is basically like marmite, love it or hate it :)


About the vocals, its difficult to decide what to do with them, especially on the chorus, where there are the vocal parts, and 3 guitar :), well maybe 4 guitar.
 
Guitar is great! Vocals are a bit week and the drumming is fairly shoddy tbh - it's in time but I don't think the groove fits too well. I would offer to record over for you except for the fact that I just sold my kit here so all I have at the moment is 6 cymbals and a snare drum :p
 
Song is pretty good, so is your guitar work. There are "production" problems though. Drums sound like they were taken off the casio tone bank and have no kick, no power. That's not the way to record drums. Gate them, keep kick drum short, play around with equaliser, if general quality of drum set is an issue you can always loop it and mix it down with nice separation, one track equalised to be bassy and the other sharp and short like Machine Head drum works.
Same goes for the vocalist. It's almost like he was in George from "Wedding Singer" mode in one studio room and you were on tour with Megadeth in the other room. You sustain dynamics, pinch harmonics out of your strings, riff away while he's evidently in deep state of mourning and catatonia. I remember from school practice (beside being guitarist myself I'm actually a trained Sound Engineer btw, but for many reasons I work in I.T. ever since I finished school) that usually in such circumstances it's good practice to expose guitar track more on console and put sent to vocal through normalize/limiter and keep the volume slightly lower than it should be while recording the singer. Not only will your guitar dictate tempo but if you make sure the singer doesn't hear every detail of his voice on whisper level and doesn't scare himself when raising voice in headphones he will automatically start using his diaphragm and lungs properly.
 
Last edited:
I waited for a few more comments before I added mine but I agree with everything thats been said except the 45 second intro doesn't bother me.
Your guitar work is excellent and the structure of the song is OK.
It is the wrong voice for this type of material.
However, the thing that I really dislike is the lyrical content and how it is basically somebody reading from a story book.
It reminds me 30 years ago when I used to write about Pyramids, Bermuda Triangle, Easter Island etc and I'd try to write a lyrical story around it and sing it but years later I realised it didn't work.
Perhaps its the voice that isn't making it work for me and somebody like Iron Maiden could put the exact same lyrics over in the music.

The only advice I can give you on the recording side is to be more critical on yourself. It can take years before somebody is willing to do this with themselves.
Listen to the drums - do they sound real?
Can I do better?
Are the sounds right etc?
Do this with every instrument and if you think anything is lacking then re-record it.
Vocals can be a main stumbling block for most bands and if the voice isn't right then nothing else sounds right.
Do you know somebody who can really sing in the style that you're after?

All this will come with time.
 
I think the intro is fine, the vocals are *** to loud though, work on your mix, and make them part of the music, rather than sitting on top of it, yeah drums suck but thats not your fault lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom